The seventeen year locust ?

I found a song title by a band recently called " The Seventeen Year Locust " . This suggests a plague which appears  every 17 years to decimate its surroundings . This reminds me of a comment I made myself a while ago as to how I find myself in similar situations at various periods of my life . I went on to say how ive learnt from each time this happens and thought it was a repetitive cycle . Today a 17 year cycle theory looks appealing . The said blogger commented that she thought there maybe a repetitive type hell present in life . That could be true, possibly   I found this picture while googling for a locust image . This ties the two themes in together very nicely . No, this image is not linked to the band who's song title first inspired me to write this post  . Maybe someone has made a similar connection before .It looks that way . The important part is what we LEARN from re-occurring crises !

A new chapter ahead

This weekend I started out on my exploration of Aleister  Crowley's ;  Book of Lies . A very dark , devious and negative book right ? Well the lie is suggested as any singular , absolute thought or statement thus any slight deviation from what is perceived as absolute truth by the thinker is probably a lot nearer the REAL truth , but will be perceived as a " lie " because of the unavoidable contradiction .
  The book is a collection of cyphers , riddles , verses and statements which are enough to make you give up at first glance , hence you must browse . By doing so you will go exactly to where your instincts tell you or maybe your inner self wants to wander I like to think .
     I solved a particular puzzle straight away . An address had always enamoured me . A number and a house name seemed a strange combination . Ive always sensed this , but never remotely knew why . Well I discovered the combination was a very wry joke . How could an address be a joke ? Well the number was 23 which means " get out ! " , and the house name was a term used for voluntary and permanent incarceration for the purpose of religious enlightenment !!!  A walled in religious fanatic being told to get out ! Of course one must then think in what context do I take a discovery in ? This is a humorous discovery , but I guess there are much larger lessons ahead for me .
     I had a crises of faith at the weekend when I questioned whether this blog was doing my reputation any good and I then saw occult thing are very much in my blood and there is a world out there of people like me and actually this isn't such a silly or more importantly dangerous subject to invest time in . Ive been guilty of pride and vanity recently and its time to remain true to myself .  " Do what thou whilst shall be the whole of the law ! "  Never has that been more true .

Do I need to justify this / why am I doing so ?

There are those who cant deal with the facts ive found , there are those who stick their heads in the sand , some run away from the things they find , some grab a prescription from their doctor after having strange unexplained phenomena . Ive seen it all . Ive never pulled any punches on this blog . If its written its how ive found it . Should I always present what I find ? Well yes because I judge my followers to make up their own minds .

As always

" Abnormal states of mind interested Simon Iff "

Wenesday night 23:29

Its a very stormy night , the wind is roaring making a racket down my wood burning stove chimney . There has been a gusty wind this afternoon blowing the leaves in strange eddies in the farm yard . This reminds me of a book I read quite intensely .
   My gums are really sore around my teeth , and my stomach doesn't feel quite right . I can hear the lashing rain showers blowing around coming from random directions on the wind . Winter is truly here .
   I had what might be called a peak experience tonight for the first time maybe . I say peak as it was different to anything else ive felt until now . It was caused by a single line in a film " Perhaps he's happier with his own kind "  The line gave me a wonderful glow inside and a wry sense of rebellion , and a sense of isolation from the ordinary world out there tonight . I felt totally at peace as though these last few years were all leading up to the person I am today today . I feel I have found my own kind recently .
   Finally even though its a very cloudy night the moon is still burning through the clouds into sight occasionally before once again disappearing into the murkiness . This reminds me intensely of another bloggers video post of a moon scene they made a while ago . Yes very much so .
   Due to events im not feeling all I should at the moment . A bit numb you might say . I told someone I felt emotionaly exhausted recently  , and I am . I don't deny it !
  My book by AC arrived today , and even the author says the book may seem to have been written to insult you in its complex and cryptic style . Im not in the mood for deep thought at the moment , but a quick glance found me reading a paragraph about how the way out of something was not the same way as you came into it ...
  I have decided to leave two friendships behind or a least not actively persue them . If they return without any effort then im still here . I too tired for crap like that anymore or games . I crave normality . I really do . Its nice typing tonight in a warm room , gale outside , my candle burning ect . Im not where I expected to be this time last week . Ive come to realise sometimes some situations end just because they do , they just cant exist anymore . Im to tired to ask or enquire why ....
 
 

Orbs ?

 
I have only noticed this today as I looked at the photo's I took on Sunday . There are Orbs , but I must admit it was a day of very fine drizzle so maybe its just droplets of water on my camera lense , right ? BUT look there is an orb shape reflected in the surface of the water . How do I know its not on my lense ? Well there is a disturbance on the waters surface that passes OVER the top of the orb shape . I dont recall that wake in the water either . I dont think it was my flash as its a very round shape . It begs the question ; what dimension are orbs in then ?

The full moon forces a crises and a half

There seems to be a theme of regret running through my " real world " friends at the moment . It seems to be a running theme in the build up to this full moon . Ive seen many crisis's this moon , worst fears manifesting and peoples nightmares coming true . A mis carriage occurred , another acquaintance  had a baby rushed to hospital , I was involved in a road accident ect  Others are regretting their choices and wanting change . Ive seen one once vibrant person reduced to a zombie basically . I too have experienced my nightmare in a dream like manner . There is also a daily tension in my surroundings and people I know that's starting to affect me . I can intimately feel it . Its transferred to me . I shouldn't be feeling it but I am . As with any dark cloud it will pass over . The last time I could sense such darkness was last Christmas .

Oh and the loud water noise is back again ...

Perceptions

Take a perception you have about any strong subject , Then look into said subject . You will find your original perceptions were totally wrong . Its always this way about subjects you have no experience with . This applies to everyone . The Occult is a big one . Its a word we may as well abandon , even if its definition is only " something hidden "  Its a word so misaligned it needs reinventing...

Tiger , tiger

http://www.daypoems.net/poems/441.html   

For several seasons ive been haunted by references to tigers or images of tigers . A synchronicity no less . Round and round has the " tiger , tiger " line gone in my head . This recently accelerated when I saw an advert for a book on how to improve writing skills bore this line on its cover . The next morning , just as I woke up ( funny how it always happens at that time ) I caught the last few lines of another William Blake poem , which of course caused me to sit up and ask some questions . Of course I read the above poem last summer as a matter of interest . Also at that time another blogger who never posts anything put the poem on his blog which also got me thinking . Today I can see so clearly what its all about . Mystical and Occult awakening .... well that's what I read into it ! Perception is everything ...

Something of interest I found on face book

                                                                                                                                                                         I  dont normally take any notice of this type of  " share or else " rubbish , but this was up my street as they say...

Moon talk !

Natural selection has always been taken for granted . I see no reason why the same law should not apply to friendships . The weaker less productive or malfunctioning ones fall by the way side and are replaced by stronger higher grade ones ( or a higher calibre ones ) You know I love nothing more than getting the word " calibre " into a post lol !  I have seen some friendships actually taking each other out as they say . Ive seen one friendship literally push a button of destruction on another .  As I said , natural selection and survival of the fittest . To aid an ailing or destructive one may have long running future implications further destroying the good healthy ones . Something to consider .

A new dawn

The bottom of this photo is fading . How can that happen to a digital photo on a lap top ? Ive seen a painting of a landscape change colour once . A low tide scene in which a black rock became white gradually ....and that marked a period of intense anxiety and change .

My new goal

I feel this blog is going back to its roots as I explore new ideas that will alter my perceptions . People may not approve of my more colourful moments ( and there will be many ) I feel disillusioned about the past and im all at sea today . Of course the past is still as it was and it was what it was  . Well that's a contradiction that sits well with me and still makes total sense already .
   Ive been seeing mystical signs for years so I have been advised to read a very , very subjective book by a author ive recently mentioned . Its basically from what I can gather a " suggestive " book ,  a collection of ideas , diagrams and short pieces of writing designed to stimulate .
   Ive unfortunately related what ive learnt so far to the human condition and this is a waste , well some people are a waste of time as ive learnt in my life over the past few years . To make some sense by myself of whats happened this is the right path I feel .

The start of much rambling no doubt...

" I keep a close watch on this heart of mine , I walk blind , I walk blind .... "   Unknown

" Who will survive and what will be left of them , apocalyptic dreams of the ordinary lives .... " White Zombie

Morgan Le Fay

Tired , cold , hungry

I am constantly tired , cold and hungry . Winter isnt as fun as it was . Its over cast and cloudy and there is a sharp , damp cold in the air and a feeling like you get on Christmas day . Not in a positive way though , just as in its a day thats set apart from normality . Its very easy to confuse the two . I remember a day years ago like this but with a windy afternoon . I got an intense feeling a big change was ahead and that life was not going to be the same again , how right I was then . Well that feeling  is back once more today .
    Strangely ( isnt it always ? ) this full moon I have the house all to myself again . This is becoming a habit . The moon has been moving females to and through no doubt . This is becoming particularly strong with this moon in its hazy mood . I have seen the effects , though have yet to see their out come .
    Its time for a change of reading matter so out goes fiction and in comes something of teaching by Aliester Crowley . Having enjoyed his novel Moon Child immensely I was fascinated by his ideas of Tao and the act of deliberately contradicting your views or desires in order to achieve an out come . Both these ideas interest me and tantalise me . I suppose how many times have you taken an action to find it was a waste of time and you should have actually done the opposite action ? Will doing the opposite action to what you would expect cheat life's habit of thwarting your plans ? This is my new area of interest !

" Try one direction just one more time.... "

I have a strange weekend ahead . It will be a definitive one . Come Monday morning I will have the answers enabling me to see ahead . Only a full moon could have engineered this situation , or me ! Nothing feels real . Finally its time for the end ? Cometh the man , cometh the hour....

" When two events occur simultaniously attention must be paid... "

Water has started gurning loudly in the pipes when I turn on the taps at both Dent and the farm today . Both places at the same time  , after a complete absence for weeks . That is not coincidence .One is on mains water , the other a private supply off a fell stream . Both are behaving the same . Its a classic , it really is .

Dion Fortune

The Door Without a Key is the Door of Dreams ; it is the door by which the sensitive escape into insanity when life is too hard for them , and artists use it as a window in a watch tower . Psychologists call it a coping mechanism ; magicians call it magic , and the man in the street calls illusion or charlatanry according to taste . It does not matter to me what it is called , for it is effectual

Mysterious times ?

http://youtu.be/WYJlYjo1ujY

I need to get some rest !

Its very frustrating . Every night im having dreams I cant quite recall in the morning . I can remember slightly the emotions and a vague sense of their lay out but only in a very often abstract way . I know that sounds pretentious but I sense the dreams have occurred and can still feel how the events flowed in them , but no details or definite facts .
   Last summer as I was drifting off to sleep I became aware I was having a conversation of some intensity with a figure or person in my minds eye  . As I became conscious of my speech and tried to focus on who it was I was talking too the whole experience evaporated immediately . Also I have woken up in the morning  occasionally feeling as though I have been " busy " all night . What we actually do or where we go mentally during sleep is still a mystery . At the very least we work subconsciously on problems in our lives I suppose . At the most perhaps contact some " other world "

Stress and peak experiences

So how did I feel after witnessing the accident . Well I felt very little . No panic , no confusion either , just total sobriety and focus . Ive been wondering why . Is it delayed shock ? Is it that ive faced so many emotionally destructive moments that threatened to destroy me , and ive grown used to such intense situations that I cant believe are really happening ?  Maybe ive become " battle " hardened by my emotional experience of the Peak kind .
  This theory holds water as in times of great stress I suddenly slow everything down and seem to become totally blasia and disconnected  about the situation I'm facing . I believe its a coping mechanism ive developed as a side effect of stress over several years . For example I feel no anxiety about any Police action that may occur from the incident . I'm just like " so be it " you know . Its weird , I guess Im just not going to let events push me around any more . There is no action to worry about yet , but that doesnt mean there wont be , but that's hardly the point as this is just one example of how ive changed mentally . You can only live in crises for so long before you start to harden . Is this healthy ? Well i'll take it over the way ive felt these past years . Interesting times indeed.

Synchronicitys

Tonight I had an impressive example . As I read a bloggers comments about being sleep deprived what film should I see advertised on the Horror Channel I was watching ? Dario Argento's film , Sleepless . I have never seen this so I have recorded it and shall watch with interest ...

Moving swiftly on...

I have removed the previous post . Thanks for the comment if you left it . I feel uneasy having such a post on too long and I guess there will be more to come on the subject , but I dont want it clogging up my blog as im drawing that episode of my life to a close most likely .
   Of course all things mystical do not come down to one part of your life , they spring from within you , but are probably triggered by those you meet . Bizarre events are still abound so thats good because without them this blog would struggle lol ! My journey continues ...

Colin Wilson

The name Colin Wilson has been bugging me recently and seemed familiar somehow , so I googled it . Reading how he lived rough while writing his first book again sounded familiar to me . Where had I heard that story before ? Its finally fallen to me today , I bought his book The Supernatural at a car boot sale about two years ago . I remember the writer had an effect on me and excited me too at the time as he seemed different and believed his view points  . The book looked quite conventional by its cover , a bit tacky even , but his writing was extraordinary and it captured how I had felt at key times in my mystical experiences .

Evie

" evie "  is my daughters name....

Mini esoteric up-date

1 ) For the first time in 7 years the sun actually stopped me getting to work , well  for a while anyway . Its position as it came over the horizon of a hill in a peculiar direction dazzled me so bad I had to stop completely and then turned around as it was impassible ! I tried again in a few minutes and very carefully made it past this pinch point . Thankfully its a single track road . An example of perfect alignment I have experienced with the moon before .

2 ) A cupboard door banged shut this morning at the farm but once again no one was in the house . As always when things like this occur its a clear sunny , sharp bright morning...

The time is near...

Im feeling very uneasy . This moon that's showing as a half crescent tonight is going to bring some big changes . This funnily will reach a peak around the time of the coming full moon . Well who would have guessed that ? I shall soon see what ive become over these last two seasons . Either a return to the old with a touch of bravado or a new balanced me . I cant say I have a preference either way . Maybe Im considering the merits of Tao ?  Its a concept that does not come natural to me as controlling the uncontrollable is my job in some respects , also my job entails working with the unstoppable seasons so its all " swings and roundabouts " then when deciding if this path is an option . I must be truly tired to be even considering this .

My new winter candle

I finally finished burning my red Autumn candle last night and have bought a rather more wintery one in nice shade of white that captures how I feel about the magic of winter . For example the pale blue winter skies at dusk and the clouds that part to reveal it , the hazey mornings and the winter sunlight . Tonight all that matters is this candle . Total satisfaction , for a short while anyway ...

Silence

All Spring and Summer and Autumn water has been gurning in the pipes both on holiday in Tintagel , Cornwall , and in the two houses I frequent . This has grown alarmingly louder by the month until recently , but now has ceased altogether . Momentum in its intensity has gathered over the past Summer . Why has it stopped ? Why did it steadily increase ? Have I done something right or found a right path ? Have old situations returned to enable closure or have they vanished altogether or being replaced by a new age ? It looks like I shall have the answers soon .
                                                                                                                              

http://youtu.be/9Acy_bav21M

The Devil's in the detail

Well straight away im into a complication regarding my number plate quest . Apparently the DVLA have tried to e-mail me but the message  they keep sending to me just keeps returning to them . How is that possible ? Very weird !!!  I now have a phone number I must ring them on . Well its not going to be a normal conversation is it ?

Mystery solved . I made a mistake in my e-mail address !

I simply have to know !

Well I have just made my request for information through the Freedom of Information Act . I applied to the DVLA regarding the number of cars registered on UK roads that contain a certain triple number . I should get an answer in less than 20 days . A bit insane ? Yes but this is gonna be fun . I have no idea what the figure will be ( and it better not be 666 or I shall have a breakdown lol )  There must be a high figure of cars containing 666 as I constantly see them or do they find me ? We shall see ....

Changes

My mood is really changing . Im short tempered and verbally sharp tongued . Tonight I almost  ( well virtually ) stormed off at the bonfire . I have about three seconds to catch my temper though before a rage takes over . This is classic me at this time of year . Worse though today , every time someone spoke I presumed it was to me and not someone near by , even though this was obviously the case . Mistakes and perceiving peoples intentions incorrectly is the worst product of this seasonal disorder . Another classic symptom I get is a fuzzy head for figures . I cant remember figures for very long or add them up . My mind feels full of mud and so dull and slow , but ask me for any subjective view on any subject and i'll blow you away and wax lyrical ! Certain mental traits are enhanced and certain everyday ones are depleted . These are the mental effects , but of course the physical ones are worrying too , but I just grind on through those....

Winter mode accomplished and fully initiated

Im shattered .Came home in a bad mood as I have still failed to find a proper pumpkin . OK its not a crises but the mood im in I could explode for any reason tonight ! Its funny , every year it gets to November and I think my seasonal disorder isn't as bad this year , then as the clocks go back , BANG , it suddenly hits me ... My eyes are sore , im tired , I feel physically weaker too . Mentally im a bit hyper , and yes more outspoken and bullish as I predicted or you may have noticed ! I also have a delicious appetite for anything that gives me pleasure . Im lusting for good films to watch ! Im living for the moment and no longer see far ahead , just the now

How else was this to end ?

I read today that a woman has drowned in a sea cave in Dorset . How on earth had that happened ? Well a couple from London ( no surprise ) had been climbing on the cliffs and jumping off into the sea . OK a bit reckless , but this was during the storm that swept over the south of the country , in October . At what point should they have thought this activity bordered on suicidal ? Unfortunately she was washed into a sea cave and rescuers could only reach her by climbing through a tiny " blow hole " in the rock . This is a hole that blasts air and water out at pressure as the waves enter a cave . They did not succeed in a rescue and she perished .
   They say the caves were once used for human sacrifices to the sea . Well the people in this story certainly did there best to emulate this picture . Dion Fortune suggested this can happen subconsciously as the water elements can unbalance the mind .Water does amplify emotion after all . There have been several striking deaths caused by the sea in this area . I have been noting them mentally for the past year . Are they connected and if so what will be the out come ? If any ?

Maybe this is where ive gone wrong ?!

" It is my first rule , " continued the magician , " never to let anything interfere with plans once agreed upon . Think what would happen to the Solar System if the planet Jupiter suddenly decided to change course ! The Way of Toa is to allow everything to happen . It all comes right in the end... "  

The Simon Iff Stories / Aliester Crowley

Faith No More " To grow a life within a life..... "

http://www.google.co.uk/url?    sa=t&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&frm=1&source=web&cd=6&cad=rja&ved=0CEsQFjAF&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.metrolyrics.com%2Fthe-real-thing-lyrics-faith-no-more.html&ei=JHJ2UpX6EIOX7Qbs5YDwCA&usg=AFQjCNEVjctzXx6C9TQUmA6gpymzMYXeKA&sig2=jns7JEMX5CO_Xgrx0IsPgg&bvm=bv.55819444,d.d2k

My wonderful cousin has just drawn my attention to this biological wonder !!!

https://www.google.co.uk/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=web&cd=1&cad=rja&sqi=2&ved=0CCwQFjAA&url=http%3A%2F%2Fen.wikipedia.org%2Fwiki%2FPineal_gland&ei=j291UsGnFe7A7Aamv4GIAQ&usg=AFQjCNGG3BjUaCzb20vmjx1rU05aizzwSg&sig2=tVSn8OMrJj96uf08wXcJnA       


Of course the part of this that interests me is in the " mystical / occult " section of this link . This gland regulates sleep patterns as the seasons change . As my vitality  is dramatically reduced as Winter starts , and the day light hours shorten , my thoughts are drawn to how much of this is caused by the functioning or malfunctioning of this Pineal gland in me .
  I know that suddenly at this time of year something changes in the air and events are changeable and magic is abound everywhere . Its in the Winter light , the winds , the white Winter moons . As the Pineal gland deep in the brain sends out changes caused by changing seasonal light , are other mystical messages or changes occurring too in tandem ? Does this happen because of my seasonal disorder mixes something up  enabling me to see and sense the magic potential of this season ? Its a very neat inter locking theory that lines up nicely . To find this gland is linked with such subjects  is a pleasant surprise and a further justification of my own views . Nice !
  Dion Fortune also hinted at the Endocrine system being responsible for the ability to be of a certain persuasion . I think she was referring to something along these lines . A malfunction could trigger the ability to experience other intensity's of emotion that " normal " people miss out on . These levels of emotion may kick start all you read on this blog . Maybe the road to this mindset and lifestyle is mainly a biological anomaly ? Well that's one road that she suggests .  I like it when a mainstream idea blends to prove a mystical one . The  " God particle " that was discovered recently is a classic .Something you cant see or prove having its existence justified by the effects you can see . But that's another story...

Its been a while

Tonight I caught a light moving across my ceiling . I only just saw it from the corner of my eye , as is always the case . " These things never bare close inspection " A. Crowley