Actually quite alarming.

" He's just like a dog or a cart horse Ellen, is he not ? He eats, works and sleeps eternally. What a blank dreary mind he must have. Tell me Hareton , do you ever dream, and if you do, what do you dream of ?

Its true that in this valley people seem to exist this way. Maybe people everywhere live this way ? I feel in a rut at the moment and Im not sure if I want to get out of it. Its funny as we get older how the very idea of change eludes us because we have gone so far on the old road weve traveled. The irony here is that we do get out of ruts but we cant choose when. Its something that has to occur naturally and I think is quite impossible to manufacture yourself, especially if you dont know what you want !

  

Today at dinner time I was alone in the kitchen when a sudden noise made me jump. I sounded like a loud sharp flap as though something had dropped from the table. At first I thought it was a handbag. I caught some movement from the corner of my eye, but nothing was on the floor. My coat was hung on the back of a chair and maybe that had be shaken to produce the flap. Either way it rattled me as it happened in the corner of the kitchen where I often get a cold back, even on a hot summers day. Why would something so random and meaningless happen like that ? Im use to things moving on there own here, but something about this got to me today.