Maybe the tide is slackening ?

 40% of Covid Vax appointments are " no shows " at the moment ! So says the NHS itself via its god head the BBC. When you hear such facts you might just begin to think with a glimmer of hope that maybe people are beginning to see the light here ? I hear people complaining of how constantly ill they have become.

Extra facilities are being built once again to deal with an anticipated possible demand that never showed up last time either. No one was treated in these extra facilities. There was no overflow from hospitals and I doubt whether there will be again this time. Just like the Foot and Mouth animal disease, when the money runs out Covid will disappear. This madness has a life of its own now but momentum will be lost. Why do we have an army of experts and academics who are living just to put obstacles in our way and the way of the whole country. You can bet they are all on a £100,000 plus salary. Turkeys dont vote for Christmas as they say.

Finally, testing kits are in short supply. " Good " shouted my daughter at the TV...lol She said earlier that Trump had the right idea about testing being the problem here. The more they look the more they find she said, and despite being  only being 9 she has an astute point. Ive no idea where she gets these views from. though...lol

Clapping for NHS brought our neighbours together

Eccentric Brits ? That was then and this is now. I find it extremely worrying that people are not banging pots and pans in protest at the NHS preventing people visiting their dying family in hospital due to covid risks. Many limit one designated visitor per week. In know two families who are suffering at the sharp end of this cruel, barbaric bureaucracy.  The media whores never mention anything about it. These unfortunate patients I know of do not and were not admitted due to covid. In fact covid patients were mixed in with general patients in hospital wards during the " pandemic ". Whats changed now ? We are a sick society and are generally cowered and broken mentally. 

Luxmy Gopal - Black Tights - 5/1/21

Luxmy Gopal is the BBC's latest hot news presenter to be parachuted in from a local area somewhere in the north. How long she may last is any ones guess. Im surprised the BBC has allowed such a sexy attractive woman to be a presenter. Short haired millennial media consultants will be foaming at the mouth, but she is Asian so.... In reality she will be married with family in a jiffy, and will be seen no more. Still she can even brighten up todays news, or even past lock downs it seems. We must have the alternative local news channel here because ive only seen her for the first time on the national news. Ive been missing out !

Oh, the irony !

This is a genuine point. It is quite possible that you will need to show a vax passport to enter a cinema to watch  a film about total manipulation of reality and the enslavement of the human race. The joke here is that in the film people get a choice of two pills. A red one that wakes you up to the real reality or a blue one that keeps you in blissful ignorance.

More covid family politics...

 Tonight my wife and daughter want to meet up once again with the family whom they caught covid from. I still hold that strong dread that I felt about this family from even before I got ill. For weeks before hand I had an uneasy feeling that we should be giving them a wide berth, but for what reason at the time I was not sure.

What really annoys me about this couple is that they spent 3 months entombed in their house living in fear because the government said it was the right thing to do, even though covid was no where locally in sight. Now as soon as the virus was common locally but national rules were relaxed, they were all over the damn place to the point that even I thought they were reckless. Its strange how some people have a lack of relativity and judgement and just obey a rule because it is a rule. They scare me.

The thought that I was so ill because of their stupidity of letting my wife travel in their car when her husband was hacking and coughing all weekend still fills me with anger. I associate them with those miserable weeks I spent. I am still angry. It might be an irrational feeling as its highly unlikely they would make me ill a second time, but that instinct is still there none the less. Her husband is still not right health wise either. I am insisting that my wife and daughter only meet in open areas with them.

Covid family politics...lol

 Sister " But I thought you were ill "

 Me " I got better "

 Sister " But you didnt have the vax ! How is that possible ? "

 Me " I was ill but my body fought off the virus "

 Sister " You've disrupted my Christmas because you didnt have the vax "

           " So you will be getting the vax now I guess ? "

 Me " No way am i getting ill after just getting better. Im not making myself ill again ! "

Sister shakes her head in disbelief, and I wish her merry Christmas and leave before I explode. 

creeper in my apartment

This is beyond belief...

The Matrix (1999) Official Trailer #1 - Sci-Fi Action Movie

Its aged so well ! Im finding myself watching this film again, and with a new found modern angle. When you find yourself isolated from the majority through your choices then its impossible not to draw parallels here. This trilogy of films is an unsurpassed masterpiece.

I wonder what next year brings ? Im in no rush to find out, and I genuinely have not watched a scrap of news for weeks.

Meanwhile in my anti- festive parallel dimension....

 Well its Christmas Eve, but I must say the last few weeks have been the worst I think Ive ever had here. Not only have I been ill, but the usual problems started outside again as they do every Christmas. Im beyond weary with this. There is an evil here that descends in December and every year its thwarts me. I battle through but Im at the stage where I dont want to anymore. Im seriously considering selling any cattle before they come inside for winter next year. Water and automated slurry systems just wait the block and play up at Christmas. Ive reached the time for change. Its strange how 2 weeks out of the 52 a year bring me to my knees. 

Some photographs from a friend...

I cant see a face here in this wide shot, but for some reason I can when viewed in my FB messages.It must be something to do with resolutions.... It is in the bottom right window and in the pane directly opposite the one circled below. I however fail to see a face where the sender has circled below.

Not my photographs this time. Ive had more on my mind than messing around with stuff like this recently. Still I was sent these last night. Something in the bottom left window pane appears very wing like.

 

What a charming introduction to a hermits life

 I guess its just a long trek back to feeling myself again. Im eating well now, though Im tired at anytime and the symptoms of a tight chest and stomach uneasiness keep coming and going and its on that note that I must add that this virus is not like anything ive ever had before. It feels synthetic and artificial.

When I cough, I feel the roughness on my chest, but Im not coughing because of the feeling on my chest. The feeling comes after I have committed to cough. I have a sore throat that comes and goes the same. Unless I swallow its not there. This is not normal. The feeling of covid in my sinus, stomach and head all feels like a smooth silky pressure that feels almost feminine. Again it feels artificial and its for that reason that Im not sure how long this will last. And then there is that oily almost fragrant smell in my nostrils and when I sweat. Something un natural is inside me and I dont like it.

Im doing my daily work outside but have no desire to travel after that or socialise. Its completely gone. Keeping topped up with food seems to be the secret to holding my mood. If Im not posting here its because Im feeling off and not because of any other seasonal distractions. Im hoping as the sun starts to move after Christmas day that I shall regain my kudos rapidly. In normal times its so.

Im much better than I was and Im heading in the right direction...

Something needs to give now

 Cant sleep again, but ive just eaten a full sandwich and packet of crisps and thats the first thing in 10 days that ive managed more then 3 bites of. This virus is designed to stop you eating. Mentally and physically ive had zero desire to eat, even my mouth wouldnt produce saliva.

When my antibiotics run out on Sunday then hopefully I can work a little outside without the nuasia and disorientation..I hope thats not virus related. Why does my body spasm and jump when im mentally drifting to sleep ?  When you have been in bed all day you dont feel like sleeping by night.These above things have begun to worry me today.

Im feeling better but not better ?

 Everything feels like it has been reduced to a grey tasteless paste. Its not just food Im refering to here. Everything I touch feels soft and the same, my bedding, my clothes ect. There is a constant not really unpleasant smell in my nostrils all the time and a soft taste in my mouth and again its that grey paste of nothingness.

Im sat in bed with no discomfort unless I get up... but something feels wrong. My thoughts jump backwards and forwards in rapid succession. 

My symptoms are much better, but I am breathless physically. I cant even find the words I need here. I do hope the end is in sight though as 10 days seem to be the expected time span for the virus and my antibiotics run out in a few days time.

Feeling ill again.

 I have a very bad sinus infection. Ive got some penicillin from the doctor. It is not covid connected, apparently. Im so tired of being ill day and night. My head is spinning, but at least the awful headache has gone.

 

Feeling OK right now

 Ive woken up feeling feeling OK just now, but Ive just felt off colour, dizzy, hot and cold over the last few days. One moment I think im fine and the next im feeling groggy again. The worst thing is the sinus trouble and head ache. Ive had blood in my sinsus which is also a side affect of the vax ive heard. No, im nothing like as rough as many people I know who caught this. Im just fed up of sitting around for days killing time. A week in the caravan was a drag to.

Evidence

 Today I heard from my cousin,  Her teenage son recently joined the army. She told me he is ill after just having received the vax. Also many others are in his group have also been taken " violently ill " was her phrase. If these cases were domestic then they would be spread out and invisible, but when concentrated like this are un hidable. You cant dupe parents of young recruits. 

Of all the things they could have picked out...

FaceBook have pointed out to me that the above meme is " misleading information " Apparently this is NOT a  George Orwell quote lol

 

A troubling sign...

 Apart from a small village store 2 miles down the road the next place food can be bought is now 20 miles away. Hackers have caused the only other food store chain to close. Or have they run out of food ? Its worrying as winter is in full swing and this country is on a knife edge and heading the wrong way again.

 I appear to have a cold. Im thankful its not flu like others seem to have had. I now have to stop at home until next saturday. I feel like Bill Murray in that movie Groundhog Day. If my daughter tests positive then the whole 10 days resorts back to square one for me as is the rule for none vax people. I shall ignore that.

Im not watching any news. Its too stressful and Im sick of virus related events and testing in this house. Its a religion !

Something huge

 When I got into bed tonight and closed my eyes I couldnt see any other images in my head except those of huge rugged faces of rock made up of a mountain. My mind scanned backwards and forwards over them or rather the one of them. My mouth is dry and my cough has eased. Why do I feel this virus is a distant distilled form of some thing huge and primeval ? My mind feels violated.

It is what it is...

Well my plan hasnt worked with the caravan. Ive been feeling a bit off colour with a cold and today Ive tested positive. In fact looking back I think I have been most of the week despite tests saying not so. Yesterday I felt very tired and did nothing much. Today I feel brighter but have a slight cough. How much of that is allergy related I dont know as that scratchy feeling has been going on for a long time. Being nearly a week in by my guess and not feeling that bad gives me hope my symptoms like my wifes will be mild.

Of course Im a little scared tonight, obviously. The sudden mental shock of showing a positive to everything you see on the news mad me feel queezy. My parents are not happy and I can only imagine what my relations are saying about him " not having the vaccine ", which is only natural when youve bought into something. Why do people always jump to the nightmare scenario ?

Unfortunately I know have to self isolate in this house for another 10 days and that is after a week ive just done. Typical.

And the nights are so long...

 Last night was a windy one again. Gales banging doors and windows, the sound of the wind mimics the sea crashing into cliffs. It was an uneasy night. There is something wrong about sleeping outside of a house at this time of year, even in a heated caravan.
The weather is so savage and the wind just wants to kill. Ive often thought that in December. The gloves are off and nature is taking no prisoners.

Last night as I got into bed I heard running water. That always panics me and surely enough a pipe to the sink was leaking. Water trouble didnt take long to manifest. Its forecasting a wild week ahead to. Ive also discovered ive developed an allergy to my favourite drink. As soon as I have a glass my throat goes scratchty and dry. Now when I abstain my mouth just craves the flavour. Of course the craving grows and Im thinking its the sugar thats the problem maybe. Its just another annoyance.

Ive bought a portable DVD player that is the size of a laptop. Its great. You put a film on and press play. There is no logging in, no adverts and no cutting out half way through. Its stupid how hard they have made watching a film to be nowadays. What really annoys me is YouTube " watch the whole movie " that then cuts out 20 minutes from the end and they never tell you that when you start watching. Last night I watched The Bonfire of the Vanities and thats a great tale for modern times to. Everyone has an angle and an axe to grind and some poor sucker takes a fall. You couldnt possible show this film a cinemas these days. Woke would go mental.

Really ?

There is something very odd about these passport photo strips that came inside this book as book markers ?! 

 

Millennium Tribute Lara Means What´s in your head

A relation on hearing I had retreated to a caravan told me I had become Frank Black. He was very observant with that comment as I had the thought about my self. Frank Black was the main character in the 90's tv series Millennium who ends up isolated and beaten by evil events and a time line he can do nothing about. How do I describe this 3 season show then ? 

 Basically its about a serial killer profiler  whos stumbles upon the count down to end times, and spoiler alert he can do nothing but run in the end. Series 1 was pure serial killer stories that were very well done and even without the  " end of the world  "plot line held its own. Series 2 and 3 wavered in quality and there were a few comical episodes, some rather good, and some awful. Series 3 turned apocalyptic in its atmosphere and its clips from this that form the above. Watching all three series forms the big picture which I cant do justice to in writing.

If you search YouTube for this show you will turn up awful clips which are put together to paint it as a mainstream appealing show which it is not. Funny how they make it look that way and I guess the darkness of the plots scared them viewing figure wise. I couldnt believe a mainstream British tv channel aired it at the time. It was so far removed from other crime shows. We wont see the likes of it again.

Im shivering from head to toe after watching this montage. This series had a huge impact on me during some dark times and watching too much can depress you in a morbid way. Im not watching it now on my own thats for sure. Events seem so far fetched and far away back in the 90's, but today not so. Maybe I knew what was coming. If the virus doesnt scare you then the end times will. Maybe ive projected the greater fear onto the wrong thing.

Everyone is still fine here to. Maybe going a bit stir crazy though.

My new home from home

If someone had told me a week that I would be sleeping in a caravan in a farm building under a crucifix I would have laughed at them, but here I am. Luckily everyone is OK here so far. Its just strange living like this for a week. Sometimes I think its unnecessary. Sometime I think Im not putting my money where my mouth is to some extent, but what bothers me most on my behalf is where I go long term with this situation ? After this upheaval has passed the threat ( if there is really one ) is not going to end at all. There must be a middle way forward not having the vax, but being careful at the same time.

  

Its strange how immediately after my wifes official test results came back some one on YouTube posted a film about the history of 666. It was first on my wall and now the caravan Im sleeping in happens to have a cross over my bed. Its beyond coincidence. I dont know why but caravan sofa seats are so much more comfortable to sleep on than ordinary beds. Ive always found that.

Im not happy about sleeping in the yard though. There are some odd atmosphere out there on a winters night, especially last thing at night. Tonight as I walked past a pile of wooden posts there was a crack and then a much louder one as though a stone had hit them hard. And it seems Im not the only one " outside " tonight as over the wall next door there is a camper van. I appreciate another bloggers concern for my situation and that means a lot to me. I dont know anyone else who has any awareness of the " bigger picture " thats forming.

Im lucky as Im using the house porch with the door closed as an internet room. Its warm and comfortable. My next George Orwell book has arrived about his time serving in the Spanish Civil war. Can you imagine feeling so strongly about something that you travelled abroad to fight ? Well, yes its not an uncommon happening in these modern times but its frowned upon deeply today. I suppose when its against your own countrymen thats the problem. I guess the Spanish were not impressed either, at least one side. People who " walk the walk " must be exalted. Its highly relevant though a fascism appears to be making a return through socialism as he predicted when he pointed out that when patience is lost socialism vereers next to fascism.
 

Embarrassing moment Boris Johnson fails to turn Christmas tree lights on...

Whats wrong with buttons nowadays ? You press then on and as you release them they switch off. This never used to be a thing. Today a button must be pressed so slowly and deliberately and any sort of rushed action leads to the reverse happening of what you wanted. How modern.

A plan of action

 The next 7 days will be an adventure. I intend to live in our porch by day and sleep in my shed by night. That will be an experience. I cant sleep for planning. I have internet in the porch so I will keep posting. I know the risk is small to me but I can avoid this. Its not impossible. What has life come to ? Well this blog will be interesting. At least im not sleeping in a barn like Heathcliffe...lol Yet...

December, oh yes...

 So tonight took an unexpected negative turn when my wife tested positive for covid after the trip to Liverpool. She has no temperature or symptoms as of yet and Im hoping it stays that way. There is an uneasiness and discord in this house tonight and a sense of physcological shock at suddenly having something that was only happening to others or those in a news story suddenly messing up life in your home. Am I scared tonight ? Yes, I am. Its just the unknown and the fact we have to self isolate for 10 days.

Whatever I believe cannot tale away the shock and unpleasantness of tonight.

Its hardly the time to talk of mystical things but I cannot deny that the first video on my YouTube list was about The Number of the Beast. I shall be posting updates on this situation and having 10 nights in is going to drive me insane and I doubt I shall be quite the same after this episode. 

Intolerable

But in periods of decay of social life

The drama sympathizes with that decay.

Tragedy becomes a cold imitation

Of the form of the great masterpieces of antiquity,

Divested of all harmonious accompaniment

Of the kindred arts

And often the very form misunderstood

Or a weak attempt to teach certain doctrines

Which the writer considers as moral truths

And which are usually

No more than specious flatteries

Of some gross vice or weakness

With which the author

In common with his auditors, are infected." •𓂀• Percey Bysshe

Solve Et Coagula

Tonight Im tired, no worn out with the virus cycle which has yet again started at the local primary school and annoyingly with a friend of my wifes who was among those who visited Liverpool that weekend who has now tested positive. Not a situation that pleases me at all. In fact im fuming. Add to this family concerns that Im still not vaxed and the fact Im a little worried about the above possibilities and Im pretty fed up tonight. However my fear of the vax far out weighs the fear of the virus. But what a bloody situation, again.

How the land lies

There have been several trees blown over like this one, annoyingly blocking the road into town this weekend. There are also walls that have been blown over too. Stones are in the road at random places. It wasnt really a good idea to try and drive anywhere today and when I got to within a mile of my destination there was a huge tree blocking the road, much bigger than this one. It was so big I think a car could have driven under the trunk.  The tree had fallen over at a place called Windy Hill...lol I guess the clue is in the name. I once had a sleepless night at a camping site called Windy Harbour. The clue was in the name I guess.

 

A Facebook memory

So what of a man who starts off his life in an evil way ? Suddenly he turns to good. This is often in a complete and utter transformation. The man who starts off life living good is corrupted by evil, but still his good works continue. in a strange duality. In this respect good seems conquer complete evil, but evil can live alongside good, corrupting it, but not killing it entirely. It is this contradiction that people hate the most.

 Anderson

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Probably true

 

Ding dong round... ? What round even is it ?

It seems tonight we are back to compulsory mask wearing, fear of death ect in UK 

 

Interpol plays down controversy over new president Ahmed Al-Raisi

A blatant attempt to scare people in these turbulent times. It must be. Another piece in the jigsaw of the situation that Im finding harder to deny. 

Bumpy Ride

 I remember when the news, especially in the 80's was outward looking. World events were reported and events such as wars seemed a dream in a distant land, and of no relevance to us in the West. Slowly the wars seemed not only to be fought by distant primitive people in the middle east, but were instigated and started by us the West. Suddenly the news seemed more relevant in a way, but still distant. 

Today the news is highly domestic and inward looking or more accurately a navel gazing death cult. All we focus on is our ever more fucked up lives, and the ever more fucked up society we live in. Its a claustrophobic situation. Round and round we go. Now the news topics are an integral part of peoples everyday lives and agendas. The worlds shit has seeped into your house, my house, and the everyday. Suddenly the news is hyper relevant. A face nearly touching yours staring eye ball to eyeball and damn you to hell if you dare turn away.

The news has become a twisted entertainment that is expected to deliver a shock factor. You expect to get a dose of horror and they never disappoint. I tune in just to hear the next crisis. Its addictive , and as events in Europe unfold I find myself not getting so angry because I now see clearer what the big picture is. Well I wouldnt say less angry, but kind of relieved that Im more decided where I stand and every piece of bad news vindicates me. 

Appetite for destruction ? Yeah, thats me.

 It suddenly struck me recently why Im getting so irate - the powers that be want to destroy everything that constitutes my life and makes me who I am. Im finding it extremely unlikely that there are so many things I do that are frowned upon. Its got ridiculous.

Firstly Im a farmer who produces livestock. So the methane, co2 are destroying the climate ? Meat is seen and taught as been unhealthy, dangerous and un-environmental. All these things are lauded mostly likely on a weekly basis on the news. A relation recently asked me how things carry on when the news hammers farmers so hard all the time ? 

The fertiliser I use is deemed wrong, even the natural animal muck is claimed to be being spread in a way that releases more methane than it should. Everything I do on a daily basis Im told is destroying the planet. Well they should come and look at all the beautiful destruction in this valley that has never had more wildlife in it. ( especially after lock down )

Its not just cows they say are destroying the planet but sheep too, causing overgrazing and flooding. So thats a problem as well. Since when have animals being so destructive ?

Secondly I drive two cars for pleasure. So, so wrong. One is of an older  sports type so is higher taxed as it produces more emissions. They are actively watering down petrol to with bio fuel reducing its performance and efficiency oddly.  You can still buy better traditional higher octane petrol but that is due to be phased out soon they say. Also the Ministry of Transport plans to ban any mechanical enhancement that is not standard. The sale of combustion engine cars is also to be banned by 2030. 

Tonight I was so angry I went for a drive when the local news featured a twenty something environmentalist trying to encourage National Parks to ban cars on some popular tourist location roads at weekends. We wont be able to visit certain areas anymore unless at certain times. Just imagine that. Fuming.

Then there is the threat of the mandatory... Im putting lives at risk ? Whatever. I selfishly wander putting all and sundry at risk, obviously.

Any time I move Im  " wrong  " on a daily basis.

Long term things do not look very good for me. I have an uncle who says he will be dead before it all closes in, thankfully he added. I wouldnt go that far ...lol But I get his point that eventually the world is no longer recognisable anymore. People throughout history have faced tribulation. What did they do ? They just carried on living their daily lives. They endured. We endure then one day wash our hands of it. At that point things will get interesting. I may become a hippy type ? 

I havent even mentioned the social trends that I abhor, but thats a given for anyone who visits my blogs or ever has.

If...

 If in the end they pin me down and inject me I shall take a tanker load of cow slurry and spread it down the town centre. You will see me on the news ! If I was forced I would be so angry I wouldnt care about much. Im hoping the UK will retain some sort of decency, but the mandatory issue is being raised by those awful health experts already and opposition mp's but thats probably just to give the government a head ache. Well I hope.

That song turned up again today on the radio.  " Got to turn around " I only listen to about 10 minutes a day of radio music while Im doing a routine daily task, so what comes on is quite pointed. No pun intended.

Germany's Health Minister Issues Warning to Unvaccinated

 

Its really, really simple. Those who have had the " thing " gave into fear. I dont care who they are. You can judge them on that. You can measure their character on that. You will forever be different from them in a subtle way if you have not conformed. 

The Neverlands are in lockdown and are saying the vax will be mandatory by Feb. Germany is considering the mandatory route too. If Europe locks down entirely this will destroy supplies of goods utterly, and its already bad now. Can Europes economy survive this ? 

They are over egging the fear factor again. They sound desperate.

Most Christians just turn a blind eye ?

 Im wondering how anyone of faith cannot be considering these time to be " the number of the beast " Leaving aside faith, and you dont even need that to see the similarities are worrying just by pure coincidence. Im not of faith, but the facts are even alarming me. I never thought I would see the day within my lifetime. There is nothing else to say here.

Time to ground but probably wont...

 Today has been a " grounding day "  Sunday dinner and replacing a car door. A bright but very cold day. All the leaves have suddenly gone to and it really feels like winter. Tonight the moon will be out again. It can be quite stressful because you cant ignore it or change this fact. What will run will run its course however you feel.

Why is it so busy here today ? Quad bikes and tractors roaring past, even planes in the sky. Nearly always when im taking a photo of the moon someone local will drive by, and I live on a relatively quiet single track road. Someone always appears out of nowhere. Very annoying.

Datura & Gigi D'Agostino - Summer Of Energy (Solsticio Corto)

Its been a long time since I listened to this...This picture definitely has Tarot influences. I believe his music has magical traits. Does he know this ? I jolly well think so ! And is that a scarab beetle in the bottom right hand corner ?!

Nothing has changed at all

The average voter is a moron. He believes what he reads in newspapers, feeds his imagination and lulls his repressions on the cinema, and hopes to break away from his slavery by football pools, cross-word prizes, or spotting the winner of the 3:30. He is ignorant as no illiterate peasant is ignorant: he has no power of independent thought. He is the prey of panic. But he has the vote."

Another David, another tragic news story.

 David P**** escaped his taxi as it exploded outside a L********* womens hospital due to his suicide b****r passenger. That makes three. Ive removed the film as I think it ties into other things ive said on here. I shall leave it at that. 

Even more incredible was something written in the sand on a beach behind a reporter. Something again beyond coincidence. Its not often I think about stopping posting about these synchronicities, but occasionally they get too disturbing.

It is said that some things can transcend time and space or maybe this is a circuit of force taking its route ?

Not triggered, honestly, no not at all...

That song...

 Today I came across a tv magazine at a supermarket that bore an alarming headline. Two  tv soap characters were named. I shall not quote what the headline said as it was pointed, disturbing and insulting. It takes a lot to rattle me synchronicity wise, but i felt a little sick afterwards. Why do these things happen ? I can honestly say they are never of any use and rarely a prediction of anything.

The last time this happened was through a song playing in a shop I called in at on the way home from walking out of the vax centre. I was not looking forward to facing my parents and family after telling them I had not gone through with it at the last minute. After all they had been trying to persuade me by all view points that it was time for me to act, even quoting " red lines " I had set myself that had disturbingly come and gone, and still I did not want to act.

So baring all this in mind imagine my surprise when a song turns up on the journey home, and one I hadnt heard for a long while bearing the lyrics...

" Hey, whats wrong with you ?. Youre looking kind of down to me. Cos things arent getting over. Listen to what I say. GOT TO TURN AROUND, GOT TO TURN AROUND ! "

At the time I was quite worried about what I had done and these lyrics just really weighed on my mind. I nearly did turn around as it would have been quite a legit sign in my eyes that I had made a terrible mistake. A nasty coincidence then ? Lets hope so. And its bearing this in mind and other odd seemingly sharp prods ive received through coincidence that I suddenly realised it was unlikely to come to anything in my experience. Still these moments seem to time themselves nicely to freak us out. They are unpleasant but not to be feared. Maybe our
doubts manifest themselves somehow rather than out right predictions of the future ?

Aliester Crowley wrote something rather crude that summed this all up...

 " I have danced all night with Grace and when I awoke in the morning she was still a virgin "  In other words we can delve into a series of events with great and seemingly guaranteed outcomes that seem so likely, but still despite all the vast array of forecasted signs it may not even happen in the end.

Im am not interested in Crowleys magick but his incites into life and human nature are fascinating.

die with your boots on by iron maiden lyrics

Its amazing that 95% of the UK population just presumed they were going to die unless they conformed. The authorities rammed that message down our throats for 18 months. It was taken as a given and not questioned. Been re-listening to many old Iron Maiden albums as I was a big fan back in the day. 

Down the rabbit hole, again...

 Maybe I'm going mad but my name seems to be cropping up a little to often for it to be put down to coincidence. YouTube stories seem to contain too many Davids, as do news stories. Maybe Im projecting and a little too tired, but the following is odd to me.

 Recently we had the murdered MP David Amis who was stabbed to death in a Methodist church, and now a necrophiliac who is all over the news today called David Fuller. And while were on that horrific subject Im highly suspicious of the whole sale coverage of this story on TV. They are even debating it in Parliament. Its a story so disturbing that a few lines would have once surficed news wise, but its as though we must know about this man, and specifically his name which keeps coming around on the bottom of the new screen as a rolling headline. Thats whats so damn weird. The fact his name is going around and round on the subtitles and not being reduced to a single mention in a news report. It its as though we are being primed for fear and repulsion and a moral outburst of anger, disgust and hate.

If another terrible new story contains a David Im going to... Im in an odd mood tonight.

Insert your own caption !

 

Elmo’s Daddy, Louie Got Vaccinated

I am so angry I shall say nothing. Well, maybe... Its the lowest of the low trick to use children's programs to push an agenda, but its not the first times Seaseme Street has stooped so low as I remember some Gay Pride type promotions, or something of the like last year. Hitler would be proud of this propaganda medium. Apparently this promotion has been out for a year in the USA, but Ive only seen it last night while I watched a bit of CNN , as I do occasionally as the environment has taken over our news and advertisements to...but guess what ? CNN are 100 times worse than the BBC.

I know a couple whose school age daughter maybe offered the jab in the future and they are at loggerheads over what is the right thing to do. However as one of them pointed out to me that at 12 years old a child can legally make the decision for themselves, so parental power is quashed. 

The rain is pouring here this afternoon and its blowing a gale. We are meant to be having a family bonfire tonight as the " rule of 6 max gathering " malarky ruined last years. Not even sure who is coming now as someone connected to the other side of the family is seriously ill. Im in a strange mood. To add fuel to the fire ( no pun intended, I think...) an uncle who is the ex husband of said woman has said last week he is unhappy about attending in case he dies in the valley that night. Even a bonfire or rather a family gathering gets weird nowadays.

November

 

Astar - Astarte ?

So my Blogger photos have returned. Dont ask. This is a drawing of a symbol that appeared in the condensation on my car window in 2011  ( not the Astra though ) It did align well over the top of the Big Dipper constellations. Such straight lines and parallel lines and angles are not natural. This symbol remained for at least 12 months.

                                 Icy side swipe

                                Sickle moon splice

                                Wind blasts

                                North star flung

                                From violent arc

                                2012

                                 

                         

                                

                              

I remember the intensely satisfying emotion that occurred when  I wrote this short poem. This reminds me of a strange summer night about 3 years ago. I was watching three spaced out silver lights that were in a line very high up in the sky. Maybe it was a group of satellites as light can glint off them, but I doubt three would be in a row. Suddenly there was a flash of light and for a split second a huge shadow shaped crescent appeared in the sky. Again no natural explanation I can think of. I remember the shock. It felt highly profound.

 

Gigi D'Agostino - Deeper ( Underconstruction 3 )

"  Everything we got is more or less, dead

   My heart is pounding frequently, inside my chest

  Let me swim the sea to find myself and me

  But I'll never sell my soul, for any piece of gold "  

There is something I like about this song. Its an odd mix as the singer sound like he's the easy listening type of performer. There is something about the way the song changes around 4.00...

Trick or treat ?

 "  My son has come as some kind of mutant pumpkin "

 " Has he had the vaccine ?  "  I replied.

   Long pause followed by...." Erm, no "  

   November finds me say things to peoples face I never normally would. 

Autumn

Ive always liked this picture. There is a lot going on here...

I post this picture every autumn. There is just something so sensual about it. And where do I start ? The fact she is waist deep in the corn suggests she is immersed in the moment, nay lost to it ,and she hasnt got that far into the crop by accident. She actively seeking to loose control.

The slightly dirty light blue sky suggests summer is at an end and the crop has matured and is ready to harvest. The wind blows her hair asunder suggesting she is on the brink of her downfall. She grasps her waist and neck to support her body, but its too late, almost to hold back. She is on the precipice of arousal and lost to the season. Following the innocent butterfly has led her to this point. This is a very primitive picture. Very rustic. One I would like framed.

 

Moon Like Dreams : A poetry blog: Sex In Church

Moon Like Dreams : A poetry blog: Sex In Church: I remember it was a hot sultry June afternoon, with a bright crisp clear heat. The trees were in the peak of  their Summer greens, and an en...

I wrote this as an observation in 2016. I think it fits in with Halloween in an alternative way...

New Blog !

 I have a new blog  ebonynights23.blogspot.com 

 This doesnt come up on a search so try visiting my Blogger profile for a link. Last years blog Ethereal December has a link there to. Hope this works !  Time to log the dark season again and try and learn something.

Vengaboys - Up & Down

How could I forget ? Summer is UP and Winter is DOWN for me.

This video is the future, no ? Facebook certainly think so....or rather Meta !

BOOM ! Thats it. The reason everything feels so jaded is that these are the last days of an old reality. The future will be virtual reality, or seen to be. Its certainly coming and the results will obliterate everything we value. I can feel it. Entropy. Breakfast in the ruins...

Funny how that progressed isnt it ? All from a cheesy song. A cog in the machine of my thoughts. Never look down on a cog as it is only a cog and never pretends to be anything else, and only a fool would deride it for not being what they would expect. 

Navel gazing

 I some times wonder what I am ? What we are outside of everything we have been through. Im typing more and more pairs of vowels back to front. Every morning I want sugar I reach for the damned jar marked tea. Every morning. Im doing it on purpose at some level.

When I feel something meaningful I soon doubt it within 24 hours. Its a feeling of things slipping through my fingers. Ive had this before. Anything meaningful seems so fleeting. The mundane remains constant. I think  this is what they call " the abyss " . Its is approaching. The wonderful is all great and so is the moment of a crisis in which its very clear and exciting carrying out what needs to be done, but what afterwards ? 

I think this whole country is going through a similar phase. Acquiring what we want is not the answer as it will pass. This is the last day before the clocks go back tonight. That never gets old. I swear everything changes then. Lets see...

Is this ectoplasm ?

The last version of this photo I posted had a filter. This original one hadnt. Again if you look to the far left just below half way down you can see a white cloud type billowing along obscuring a tree trunk and settling in a hollow below. If you view this on a lap top and zoom in then its very clear this is something very strange. What is this wandering substance ? 

When I posted my mistake about the leaf ( someone commented on my fb that it looked like a duck ) I knew and have always suspected there was something over there. When I try do something meaningful in the yard a gusty annoying wind gets up. Other people have noticed this annoying trait to as it happens and passes by so quickly and obviously.

Im now wondering what else I may capture on film. Well at least my new neighbour isnt around at the moment ! 

Spot the difference ?

Front

  

Rear

 

ApologetiX "Jailhouse Rock - Elvis Presley" PARODY

Quite good ?  Im betting youve never seen anything like this before ? lol

Project Pitchfork - Ascension feat. Sue

What am I ? What are you ? I once came across a paragraph that summed up and solved the mystery of why and what I am. I was reading a book by Aliester Crowley or was it Dion Fortune ? In this  book there was a paragraph that described a type make up of person who has unseen abilities, and the factors that were so essential in so many cases.

  What hit me most was an observation about these peoples physiological make up and certain medical conditions that may see a distortion of the balances of essential chemicals in the body which is said to cause them being out of kilter with the majority. They can never be part of the majority whose automatic regulation sets them apart. Its this distortion that triggers it all. The one such disorder matched mine exactly. I was astounded. Upset regulation of the body affects the mind and its the mind that creates the magic.

  Another factor which set these people apart or often aided them in magic was the fact they were routinely found living generally isolated lives in the countryside. These people were not interrupted during their long train of thought. Their minds drifted far when thinking of some things. They had space to muse or brood uninterrupted. They spent an un-natural amount of time thinking about single subjects that they deemed important to them ,where as other more focused people may deem them to be whimsical. Unless you can unhinge from the routine your never going to see anything supernatural at all.

  So much contained in a single paragraph that matched myself. So Im an oddity and always will be. My make up is not automatic, its jumped the rails. When one puts so much energy into any obsession then events will move. Its a problem as everyday life has to function too. 

   In the end the its just holding back the dam of life for a while and i'd be lying if I said it was a cure for all ills, but none of that matters when it is what you are. It matters not.

For the use of whatever ghosts choose to inhabit it ?

This Birch tree blew down in spring 2020 in a field belonging to Whernside Manor and at the time it felt profound. Wind is funnelled at high speed round the back of this building and I guess the tree was rotten inside resulting its dramatic fall. An interesting fact is that lambs with their mothers in lambing time will not thrive in this field. We used to have free use of this field when the last owners were here, but gave up doing so after so many problems. The same can be said for another field, one that we own that borders the property at one corner. We gave up feeding the sheep in winter in that corner as they started to waste away and loose weight. Once we started to feed them a short distance away they recovered.

 Not quite as pretty a view as the front, in fact a different face altogether and the very picture of menace and decay. It wont look this way for long given the wealthy honeymoon couple have plans, big plans. It will be nice to look back on this photo some day. I hesitate to say this but there is some very strange white mists on the left half way down the photo. It appears to be moving over a fence and from one field to another. Well it isnt a leaf..lol