Navel gazing

 I some times wonder what I am ? What we are outside of everything we have been through. Im typing more and more pairs of vowels back to front. Every morning I want sugar I reach for the damned jar marked tea. Every morning. Im doing it on purpose at some level.

When I feel something meaningful I soon doubt it within 24 hours. Its a feeling of things slipping through my fingers. Ive had this before. Anything meaningful seems so fleeting. The mundane remains constant. I think  this is what they call " the abyss " . Its is approaching. The wonderful is all great and so is the moment of a crisis in which its very clear and exciting carrying out what needs to be done, but what afterwards ? 

I think this whole country is going through a similar phase. Acquiring what we want is not the answer as it will pass. This is the last day before the clocks go back tonight. That never gets old. I swear everything changes then. Lets see...