This afternoon I have through looking back on my last few years decided that I have something to say that may be helpful regarding the subject of avoiding troublesome social situations . This is because I have lived through this myself . I have at times run . I have at times faced up to resulting in great mental anguish and cost situations I found .... ( i cant think of a word bad enough to explain how scared I felt ) . I know all consuming fear . Whether I was right to allow a situation like this to affect me so much is quite another question . But I do know ( and I know its a cliche ) that running or avoiding a situation gives it more power over you . I always found avoiding something didn't help me as i still felt it still lurked behind my back .
I guess it all comes down to the cost . I myself found I started to avoid certain social situations and then I found what I lost out on grew and grew .... I missed out on enjoyable family gatherings . But this was a price I found worth paying to keep my head intact and the awful anxiety at bay . Very sad but true . So I know that running is sometimes necessary to survive but looking at me today I regret it . I also respect at times it is the only option but where does it lead too if you go down this path for years ( and suddenly it does become years ) I should know as im still kind of on that path . In fact today im wondering if i can run away completely . This post is all part of my attempt to find closure . I have tears in my eyes now but it must be said . This has been a while coming.....Regret is a terrible thing . The things I missed out on . I wouldnt want anyone else to go through that .
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