Tonight I'm confused about reality . Im living at a stage of my life that a long while ago I looked ahead too but thought would never come , not because of anything profound , but just couldn't imagine reality that far ahead . Strange days .
Ive been through something so intense that I left the everyday world behind . This situation seems to have drifted ( no pun intended ) away , I think leaving me to face the ordinary everyday . I have forgotten how to live that way . I really have . Each day passes and I think OK that's another day gone . I cant go back to who I was before so im in a no mans land . What the hell am I going to do ?Just exist ? I should have never invested so much time and energy into a big gamble despite winning . Sometimes you can loose something by no other reason than a unstoppable change of order in life . Just a change , no fault of your own . Its the balancing up after you've had a good run in the past . I cant complain my life is good , its just what ive lost and worse is the fact I might regain it but can I be bothered with the fight ? My greatest fear is looking back in regret . In that respect I have no worries at least , its the future that's baffeling .
New welcome things arrived in my sphere as old ones seemed to vanish . Is this progression ???
Yeah, I have a lot of issues with the ordinary every day. You should write more about this, I find it interesting.
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