The Golden Twigs

Ive been quite lucky this last six months . Ive learnt a lot about why I am the way I am . This has come in fits and starts of information , and often at unexpected times and from unexpected books . I have been searching for what exactly makes me different . Ive always sensed it right back in Primary School . The teachers couldn't work out why I " over reacted " to things they thought were trivial . I remember their frustration though . This is just coming back to me tonight.
   One of the most stunning observations was a biological one that Dion Fortune  mentioned briefly in a book I cant recall the name of . It was about how certain chemicals were produced in the body that controlled mood and the whole view or perception of ones life . She gave an example of a deviation that might produce a person of a certain leaning . I was shocked to see myself in her example quite clearly , not subjectively , but in a hard cold medical light . Most amazing . I would also tell her if she were alive today that yes , I am a product of such an anomaly and her theory is correct . A quite moving and personal one that too .
   As well as biological anomalies Ive found some geographical reasons  for my mindset very clearly explained in collection of fictional stories by Aleister Crowley , starring his creation Simon Iff  . There was a paragraph in a story called Psychic  Compensation that basically explained how quite country style living allowed the mind much time to wander , and wander to new horizons it does . Its hard to explain but you just drift to some places . This is compensation for the stimulation that most acquire in an urban environment . Again this was very personal and acute and unexpected .
  As if that wasn't enough I have had quite a few Psychological revelations thrown at me by reading some of J.C Jung's ideas on archetypes  and projections . I owe this to my bog connections and this is something I shall never forget as its really given me a sense of validity to what Ive been through from quite a main stream source ie ; Non occult LOL !  Again these theories are accurate and can be cross referenced to the likes of the unusual authors ive already mentioned . This amuses me as there is nothing like facts that line up from odd sources . Of course this illuminating path was found by a seemingly random click on a blog profile . Again something that's led , and is leading to new discoveries yet to come no doubt .
   You can see the way that the information I needed has got to me regarding my strange make up . If something is needed it finds its way into your sphere somehow . It maybe in a book you read or a friend lends you , it maybe a random meeting on-line . Someone once told me that we find out the things we need to know when we can handle them . True.
  So here I am a father , sat in on a Saturday night looking at the wintry stars and wondering just how Ive got here ! I tell a lie , its clouded over but there is a magical type dry , cold energised wind gusting around the street as if from a distant time . Some winter nights are like that in Dent...