New Order - True Faith (1987) (Official Music Video) [HD REMASTERED]

Its a drizzly, miserable Sunday morning. Its been wet for 24 hours. We used to get wet weeks before the lock downs, even wet months. I found in the spring when I was not well that my mood would change with the sun coming in and out of the clouds. I heard this song on the roofers radio next door, and the chorus really stuck with me. This song captures that state and those times when we reach them. We can be on such a knife edge sometimes.

Im uneasy today. My symptoms have returned as they do some days, but nothing like as bad as what they were. Its all part of the recovery process. Ive had a very good week doing all sorts of things I wouldn't have wanted to do a while ago.

As I type the blue sky is appearing in a hole in the clouds and the mist is lifting....

Good memories

I remember this picture being hung in the chapel just down the road. I often used to study it as a child in Sunday school. It looked very old and stained. I was surprised then to find in pop up on fb one day. The memories it brings back...after service teas, an old water boiler that took ages to boil, big old silver tea pot, long wooden tables and paper table cloths, cake, scones and the smell of tea. Of course now the chapel has been made into a house...

Bad fb memories...

The Corona Religion - requires acts of faith that will reward with excess life - has its own physical rituals and spoken mantras - disobedience will see others die not just yourself. All topped off with a healthy dose of guilt. Requires with drawl from society and isolation from those who do not share the same out look.

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Nuff said ?

Just perfect !

I found the perfect sign for my shed just lying on the road side.  It must have been left behind when the electric pole was repaired. This has made my weekend, and will give me smiles for a while !

Words that popped into my mind today

 Unlucky for me

 Lucky for you...

Time to go

Before someone comes...

Its not " just " a hair cut !

 All my life women have cut my hair. Ive always taken that as a given. A friend once told me that when a female hairdresser cuts a mans hair its the only situation that its deemed ok for another woman to touch a a mans head in the eyes of his partner. In any other scenario it would be taboo. I must admit it is nice for a woman to cut my hair. Men wont admit it, but it has a certain " pleasure ".I chose that word carefully.

Anyway after attending a certain hair dressers for years this situation changed when the owner died. It was at this point someone suggested a Turkish barber, and I thought it sounded like a new experience and the opening times were unbelievably convenient as they didnt close until maybe 8 oclock most nights. They were open Bank Holidays and Sundays to.

Now if a woman cutting your hair triggers a certain experience, a man cutting your hair is a culture shock. They dont handle your head over gently, in fact I think they over compensate to avoid the fact they are touching another mans head. They usually only speak limited English and converse with one another in their native tongue. I like this really. It puts you in your place and relieves you from that female hair dresser chit chat. Who am I kidding ? I liked the chit chat...lol Again that is another thing men enjoy !

Of course there are varying levels of Turkish barbers. The first one I ever went to gave me a real shock. Included in the price was a hair wash I didnt know was coming, an ear hair removal that was basically a fire lighter on a metal skewer that was flicked very quickly near my ear to singe the hairs without burning me. Finally some kind of spray that stung a little was sprayed on my head. The barber I use now is more normal than that though. The whole experience was further made a bit worrying by the language barrier. I really wondered what was coming next, especially after the fire incident.

It is a bit worrying when I watch young men having intricate  hair cuts that take ages. The detail is ridiculous, as is the perfection. Its become a boutique for men basically. Lets face it young men are incredibly vain nowadays, as well as the young women. Its become the norm, but when look back how much things have changed ! I guess the internet is to blame with all those profile photos. Image is everything now.

During lockdown my daughter shaved my hair. That was a profound moment. I never thought I would end up in that situation, ever. Trust is the big issue here or rather just letting go and see what happens. " It will always grow back " was the answer I was told. it all actually worked out fine and with practice the result were acceptable. I know many women looked quite rough in the hair department after a year...lol

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I found this rather good...

The Orb - Little Fluffy Clouds (Original Mix) (1990)

The sound of light aircraft and large airliners have returned to our skies this summer

I didnt realize how much they create or add to a summer atmosphere

Its a childhood sound

Summer holidays and hot days.

I might think of a snappy title for this today based on " the seven year itch "

 Do people move here to try and loose them selves in nature and escape humanity ? 

Im having some profound thoughts this weekend about where I live. 

In the end their demons find them. 

It takes about 7 years...

 A beautiful woman often gets away with her mis-endevours

 A beautiful valley is the same

 Hell abounds where beauty surrounds ?

No title for this...

Today I sat on a bench by the sea and ate sausage and chips and drank a sickly sweet can of Pepsi Max as that was all the takeaway sold. On the pavement a man danced high on drugs to a stall holder music. The traffic fumes smelt as they do when you haven't being used to smelling them for some time. Yes, I was back in Morecambe for the afternoon. Just being there amongst the noise and people was a big step for me today, a marker or mile stone.

Its been 5 months since I felt well enough to visit the Morecambe or the nearby city of Lancaster. Thats quite a thought that a place I enjoyed so much could hold and install so much fear in me. Over time looking back I can see the signs of approaching anxiety, they were so subtle that I didnt pay them any attention. They go back several years. In fact I dont know how far back they could be traced as they get very nuanced the further back gaze down memory lane you gaze.

I have been deliberately negative in the first paragraph, because despite these facts I was happy. Morecambe has its problems being a relatively poor sea side town, but the sands and beach are nice as are the views across the bay. It has a charm that contrasts with the town behind the sea front. Its down to earth outlook contrasts with the pristine area that I live in. Its good to be reminded of the imperfection in the world. Well it is when everything seems picture post card where I live. It isnt of course, but it seems to stay well hidden. It never changes the atmosphere of the valley. Nothing seems to. Sometime I wish the valley would give a scream or a shout...something please ! I guess a city does just that. It cant or doesnt deceive ? The people make the city.

I think this valley does blow off steam come to think of it. For instance when a woman was washed away down the river in her car, the spontaneous combustion case, or the death of a cyclist or the tourist who hung himself, or the killer who buried body parts in the hills. Things do happen here, but they never impact on the dales reputation or atmosphere, though one could expect this village to have gained a macabre reputation by now. All this seems to be ignored in favor of the beauty that surrounds.

This is reflected in history to. The valley was the last to free its slaves in the country. The slaves are rumored to have gone on a violent rampage and were surrounded and killed. There is a house on the outskirts of Dent called Siege Gill. I often wonder if this is where the violent killings took place. The door has been consistently painted blood red for years. Im beginning to understand where I live better now. Thats something Ive felt coming over my wanderings of the last few months. It sounds like winter rain outside tonight...

Go full fan and support the Lionesses this summer with Snickers

There is a concerted drive to promote womens football at the moment. This advert is odd. It suggests that the man is not a " proper " England fan unless hes supports the Lionesses. In this state he has half a shirt. The thinking being that he is only half a fan. Shock horror ! At first I thought he was dressing with a womans style in an act of support for the womens team. When his " eyes are opened " to what he is missing ( cue snickers rapture ) his shirt becomes whole. Now imagine the furor if this had been the other way around...lol But it is hinted at the beginning of the commercial strangely. I think someone is having a laugh here at a " sexist " football fan by projecting his half shirt as feminine. Its a mind fuck alright. Or maybe I'm reading too much into this ? But judging by todays crazy thinking I dont think so. Im sure they would love to make fun of male traditional football fan. Or have I argued with liberals for too long ? Not now I dont as he has blocked me !

The Brain Machine (1972) Sci-Fi, Thriller Psychotronic Film

Quite a good film I found. I watched it all in one sitting anyway...

" The price of true liberty maybe 24h surveillance " or something like that is said. An interesting idea.

Mind Of The Machine (Full Version)

I also came across an unfortunately empty cassette while having a clean out. I instantly remembered the song though and quickly found it on YouTube. Next I then remembered a film that I think inspired the song. It was very good from what I can recall, and it was basically about a group of scientists who were locked in a room by a computer that had developed A.I. They had to try and persuade and reason with the computer to release then. I  thought I'd found the film, and its in my next post, but even though it has a similar plot I dont think this is the one I remember from years ago. I still found it quite good though as it follows a similar vein.

We are at the mercy of something nowadays. Algorithms  constantly monitor our shopping, film watching and internet habits, and phone communications and our conversations around our devices. And nobody bats an eyelid. With up and coming A.I I shudder to think what the next 100 years will bring.

Satan on a key board

David Haygarth When the norm stinks, erosion is a natural thing, and a good thing, to take the stink out of those things.

Here is the response from a liberal after I suggested that teaching alternative sexuallities in school was an erosion of the norm. He couldnt see anything wrong with these teachings, and even worse the wanted to erode " the norm " as he saw that as a " stink ". Its at this point you realize that this type of person is insane.

When faced with an argument they often belittle you, laugh at you or even say they are " sad " for you. They have every trick in the book to try and undermine anyone who disagrees with them. Some even start picking at your spelling and punctuation to try make you look stupid. Thats a new one to me.

They are utterly brain washed and what I keep pointing out to them to no avail is that their views mostly apply to groups in society that they are NOT ! They delight in the battles of others as though they are hero's. They might have concerns for other groups they perceive to be wronged, but the extent that they go to when " fighting " for them is worrying. Its as though some powerful force has utterly brain washed them into doing their bidding.

Im close to stopping conversing with this gang of people now as they are nuts, and nuts in an educated way which is even more scary. They dance among the filth and the death of the unborn, and the corruption  and degradation of the young. They inflame race problems too, and generally inflame all the situations they claim to care about, but notice they are not inflaming their own lives, just the lives of others. They are the devil.

Daria - What are your goals?

She's a " wise acre "

One of the funniest American expressions ive heard.

In the UK the equivalent would be " smart ass " 

This has made my day

I found this today while cleaning out our tool shed. It was more like an archaeological dig than a clean out. There was at least 20 years of clutter and stuff that had just thrown in there. Amazingly the tape still plays but the sound has gone dull on one side.

Still a great album

A fuck ass day...

 I woke up this morning feeling tense as though something was wrong. I decided to go for a quick bike ride to relax, but a dreary depressed atmosphere hung  over the dale. A sad feeling seemed in the air and a stillness that gave the impression time had stopped. Well that was until I heard an almighty crash and saw " that builder " dropping rocks into a trailer over the hedge on a Sunday morning of course. That pissed me off, quickly followed by several shot gun blasts coming from somewhere. Grrrrrrrrr. It was a day I quickly decided that would be best spent out of the valley. It was  going to spit me out one way or another.

So I decided to go to an last minute car show. On the way I stopped at a cash machine in town. and when reversing out into the street nearly hit two passing cyclists who swore at me. Later on the motorway a camper van suddenly changed lanes and nearly drove into  the side of my car . Luckily I swerved into the next lane to avoid it. By now I knew what sort of day was ahead, but had switched off later after a good show.

When I got home my mother had fallen off her bike after hitting a hole in the road. She was OK but her leg was badly grazed. Well thats about right I thought thinking the days woe was over. 

As I drove down the lane I then spotted some cows gathered around an electric pole. I could tell something was amiss from a distance, but couldnt believe what had happened when I went to investigate. Basically a cow had pulled a cable out of the ground that helps the pole keep upright. This wouldnt normally be a problem, but this cable had touched the electric wire up the pole, but that shouldnt have been a problem because there is a large insulator half way down the cable to stop electric going down should this happen. The cow was electrocuted anyway somehow it seems. 

I knew this morning something was off. After a while you can feel it.

A freak accident.

  

TV Killed Me by Magna-Fi

It doesnt feel like a year since I bought this album.

It doesnt feel like a year since I stood sweating in line at the vaccination center not wanting to be there.

I had no idea what was ahead me in the coming winter and spring. Not that I'm equating that to the choice I made that day. 

Not much has changed. Covid is rife again. I just live my life and wait, again. Things nationwide are just as bad, but no one this time seems concerned this time. Is this because the media are no longer interested ? Probably.

Daria - Tiffany the careers counsellor

Vocal fry ? This is so simple its hilarious. Its almost ASMR !

Would you / could you wear this ?

 

The undead ?

A random fb photo of friends of a friend. Look at the emptiness in their eyes. The younger they are the worse it gets. All plastic and doll like. Again this gets worse in women in their twenties. It annoys me when I see people who are dressed up for say a wedding and use that as a PR type profile pic. If you look at their friends they are all doing it to. Fake smiles, fake image and probably no views or honesty at all, online at least. Not everyone is like this, specially as they get older. Oh, and that awful shade of lipstick that reminds me of a sex doll...lol

New roof going on !

Someone has very deep pockets. I took this photo behind some undergrowth. The owner once saw me taking a photo of his house. It was very embarrassing. I could become the weirdo next door, but everything is weird here so that not really possible...lol

No idea why, but...

 Blogger has super imposed my last post on top of the post before that. What on earth is going on ? I cant reply to the comment because of this, but yes it is a rural road and not a case of a car driving around the block all night. Bored is the right word. I was thinking the same. Only a few seconds of noise as a car passes, but thats the kind of people we Brits have become. Especially in the countryside.

Wasnt me. Honest !

Please can the person who is doing laps in their souped up vehicle on the Garsdale road, go home, park up their vehicle and go to bed like any normal person . If this continues I'll be reporting you to the police.

I found this post on a local community page. A later post this week confirmed she had reported said car to the police. Has it really come to this ?  People having fun. Now we cant have that now can we ? Fun has been all but exterminated. I have no idea why this writing is the same size as in the fb post above !

Covid. Why is this still happening ?

 Yes, I'm still writing about this because it is all starting again. Its everywhere, even here. Its rarely mentioned on the news and we are under no restrictions at all. It seems strange and unnecessary that we had lockdowns in the past for something that people are now taking as a given. So no worries then ? 

Something worrying has happened. A local farmer who was one of the first to get the virus and quite badly has just caught it again. The interesting thing is that as the vaccine had not being invented back then and you would have thought he would have had a natural immunity. He wasnt as breathless this time, but he had all three jabs as well. I was hoping I might me immune, but Im not so sure after what has happened to him. One affect it has had on him was when I was talking to him he could not stand , even still for a second. He seemed in " fight or flight " mode which is how I remember feeling when I had it. You just cannot settle.

No, its not life threatening situation, but Im worried about catching it again if the problems ive had are an after effect of it. And I severely hope I dont catch it in December again. Its my weak time. At the end of the day you cant avoid it and all the government has done amounts to zero regarding protecting our health. Its was just " the emperors clothes " all over again. In the end like everything in life you just take your chances. Im just annoyed this thing has not disappeared. I think the fact the media are touching this story make it all feel more sinister somehow. As I said once before it when the news stops covering a story that you need to start worrying.

Luhrman (pt.2)

This reminds me of someone I used to know. It makes me smile.

Daria's Graduation Speech

Good advice given the last few years....

Monty Python's The life of Brian - I want to be a woman

Years before its time. What was once an surreal joke is now being taken seriously by the next generation. Unbelievable.

Into never land I go...

 Last night I had very vivid dreams. In fact it is listed as a side affect of the pills Im taking... or am I imaging that ? Anyway in such dreams if possible I try to look people in the face and examine their eyes to see how real they appear. I did so last night and was shocked at how alive or real they seemed. I shall continue to do this. Next I shall try touching them. We dont sense feel in dreams often. I did once when I dreamed someone was cutting me with a knife. It stung. 

Ouch !

 Daughter on me cycling - " You dont cycle, you wobble around on that electric bike that does most of the work for you "  

Daria - Isn't there anytime when how you look doesn't affect how you're ...

You know when summer gets in full swing and you find a new thing or obsession ? Well this is quickly becoming mine. I didnt realize this minor character in Beavis and Butthead had her own spin off animated show, and damn is it good, and intelligent. Its as intelligent as Beavis and Butthead is dumb. They are both fantastic in their own way. 

Daria explains family in 25 seconds

Its not always about you !

 Its not always about you ! That is something that needs to sink into the heads of people who live in this valley. I know its probably caused by the isolation and lack of stimulation sometimes, and the over awareness of ones self due to the tranquil surroundings. Paranoia is rife here. The examples  that follow  are amusing manifestations of this condition.

A friend recently went on a walk. This walk passed the house of a family whose daughter was a well known local beauty. As he passed he was singing a Buddy Holly song. " Everyday its a little closer, going faster than a roller coaster, love like this will surely come my way " A few days later he bumped into said parents and they were quite off with him, and eventually asked why he had sung that song to their daughter. She must have been outside at the time. He explained it was all obviously a twist of chance, but they were convinced it was aimed at her. I had to laugh at that one...

The second example is one I experienced myself and it really is absurd. A local building has restored a house on single track road with a blind bend. All my driving life ive sounded my car horn when approaching  that bend . After doing so once a while ago the house owner stopped me in the road and asked with annoyance why I kept honking at him EVERY TIME I went past. " Why would you do that ? " he said He had held this idea for years in his head, and had never equated it to the blind bend. This is the attitude of over self awareness that is common here. Im probably guilty of it myself. Yes, it definitely sounds like me...lol

These things just make me shake my head and give up. Of course each happening further creates the local paranoia. It grows and grows in the countryside. Sometimes it is nice to visit a town and feel anonymous. Somewhere where people are more self absorbed than to examine every detail around them.

OZZY OSBOURNE - "Mr. Crowley" 1981 (Live Video)

" Will you ride my white horse ? Its symbolic of course. " lol

Today I offended a millennial ?

 In the local store today a worker was chatting to a girl manning ( whoops...lol ) a till. He asked her how she stayed thin despite eating so much. I said to them " Its never a good idea to discuss a womans weight, you'll dig yourself a hole " They both laughed then the girl turned to me and said " Womans weight ? I'll let that go " I think the fact I used " woman " in relation to weight seemed biased or sexist to her ? Its so easy to say something innocently and offend a young person nowadays. Its just weird.

I havent caught fish this big for 10 years at least. Maybe the rivers are recovering....I used to catch fish this size regularly. It seems unbelievable looking back. These are two weigh two and a half pounds and three and a half pounds.

Dent in a nutshell- Nietzsche

             I came across this astute observation which is way ahead of its time.

            We are " into all things too thorough to be able to settle like men of old " 

            We have to do everything to death, then move desperately onward to the next.

       

           I find this immensely helpful. The modern condition.