You have a message....

What constitutes Divination ? Of  course there are many well known methods such a cards, runes and crystal balls. But have you ever considered more mundane methods of contact, perhaps based on pure " chance " ?
 Its with this idea in mind that im recalling a rather strange game that relied on random letters printed on cubes being thrown like dice , the idea to challenge each player to form the longest word possible with what they received. I immediately got an uneasy feeling and within seconds rearranged my letters to spell Tintagel, a holiday location i had considered visiting for the first time due to its well know mystical reputation. I felt for sure that was a message beyond chance. And yes i did go there next Spring.

Of course i often have periods of time when i am plagued by triple number plates or words on plates that grab my attention due to their relevance at that moment. Today my daughter announced she had a fun filled day and immediately a car with the number plate " FUN " drove past us on the motorway. Such alignments must be more than chance, surely ?

The Other Side ?

My neighbour who comes from a long line of known witches once told me that " I was never alone " At first i thought she was referring to my family. But after a long line of instances of objects moving by them selves i think she was meaning something totally different.
  This week saw a light click itself on by itself. The switch was above the sofa where i was sitting. Hearing the sound proved this wasn't my imagination and my wife said it wasn't her ,was it me, no it wasn't. Today saw a metal frame on a radiator suddenly jump and jangle. The heating was off so vibration wasn't a possibility.
  I had fun this week also playing a game with my daughter that i used to play every Christmas at my grandparents when i was her age. Plastic crows are placed on a length of string and you use a pin pong gun to shoot them off. I today found out those crows were bought by an uncle in 1954. My mother even played with them as a child too. Anyway when no one else was on the room something hit the string and sent bouncing up and down quite hard. it made me smile as i think someone unseen was wanting to play, a child ? Who knows. It was another unexplained incident.
  All Summer object shave jumped and moved. Today when i got in my car the central locking button illuminated suddenly. That could only happen by pressure. When I'm shopping even strange things happen, usually objects falling over on shelves or i hear the sound of something falling over out of site. This never stops, not even on holiday.
  I'm lost as to whether this is a useful situation. I even worry about the possibility of foul play. If an entity can push a switch..who knows ? Anyway this is not going away. In fact I'm quite used to it. Spiritualism passes through my mind, In fact on bonfire night while moving rubbish that had come from a friends shop an advert for a medium blew loose, and was left behind in our farm yard. I mean what are the odds of that ?
  As I'm definitely at the 2nd half of life now maybe things are revealing themselves as i inevitably head towards death, eventually ! Finally, a child called me Death Surely a few weeks ago. I mean thats not normal is it. I tried to laugh it off, but after  few very near fatal accidents i find it hard.

Today im 48 
Its 6am 
Im listening to Gary Numans Hybrid album
Im wondering why the walls of my bedroom need to be  1 meter thick ?

Merry Christmas !

It is indeed an act of hysterical optimism to start any mechanical mending task immediately before Christmas. It NEVER goes right, the wind blows, the rain " pisses " ( a phrase which unless you've visited Britain in Winter may seen crude and vulgar ) down and its dark by 4 o'clock. 
  I went into town today for the 2nd consecutive day and a woman behind a shop counter said there was pre Christmas tension in the air, and how right she was. everyone is rushing just like me...and getting nowhere.
   Anything in this dark month requires twice as much energy to do. Of course a traditional Christmas was once not consumer led, it was a stay at home time and see the family ( good luck with that ) . In fact why don't families get together any more ? it seems to have gone out of fashion. 
  I also have a theory that the energy of this year is running on empty now, so doing anything useful is nearly impossible. There is definitely a burst on new energy once January gets going. I really love those cold brighter days and feel kind of reborn. With this in mind the idea of energy running out now seems to hold up. Yep i hate Christmas week for this reason, also its a sad comparison compared to years gone by...

I once considered creating a blog dedicated to capturing the essence of December with photos and poems. I may still...

Dior Sauvage – The new fragrance (Official Director’s cut)

- 2 + -2 = 4     The essence of magick ?   A series of sharp cracks in succession here suggests im on to something here.

Dangerous Dreaming December ?

December. A dangerous month. A month when anything is possible because all can be narrowed down to one thought or emotion. The inward looking effect of the rapidly shortening days not only starts to decay the mundane mind, but also starts to destroy the body, which we all know triggers the higher state in some.
  Mentally tired, 50 % of my minds capacity has faded, and that 50 % is  now replaced by some thing subconscious. Things are speed ed along by seasonal entities, a double edged sword thats kicks into play traditionally....
  Before the Christmas season a time of tragedy passes over locally, of course as a polar opposite  to the Christmas Spirit ( and i typed a capitol S there )  One cannot exist without the other. I only post this as i have no game to play nowadays, and no goals, but some are not even aware of these things though they play the game enthusiastically. I sit it out and watch, even though im drunk on the ingredients by default.
  

Oral-B Pro Expert UK Commercial

   

A modern woman's health priorities...BUM, HIPS....HEART !!!

How bizarre...or maybe not as her reproductive area seems to be at the fore of her concerns which are masked with a concern for vanity, maybe subconsciously or not so subconsciously ? Her mouth strangely is ranked in this group....no surprise there then...lol

An academic can join up the dots, but it takes an intelligent man to see the big picture.

" Test on a small Unseen area first "    That'll be this blog them...lol

BOOK OF LIES Crowley 85 BORBORYGMI

 


The essence of Facebook and all views, myself included.... Its true that those who have been through tough times are inspired to think and are spurred on to creativity.
Sometimes our views maybe a little corrupted by this fact, but who cares ?

Moon Like Dreams : A poetry blog: November

Moon Like Dreams : A poetry blog: November: Early shadows black, and gusty winds from snow topped hills Mixed the North winds moan To aid the creak of beams of oak And set the scene...




Its 4pm and this is how it is....

An Unseen Helper ( no question mark )

Its slowly dawning on me that im not alone in this house...This morning as i had just turned the outside tap off after washing my daughters wellingtons , i heard water running again. When i glanced back i saw a small portable snow shovel that was on the window sill being lifted up so the water in it poured to the ground and over the tap i had just been using. The handle then dropped once the water was all gone. Due to the slope of the shovel there no way that it could occur on its own or by a gust of wind. Something tilted that shovel to try and aid me washing my daughters boots. I am at a stage in my life where i am simply accepting these occurrences and wondering where they are leading me as i can no longer see them as trivial.

Once upon a time in the West (1968) - Final duel (HD)

 


You wouldnt believe it, but ive found this scene popping into my head these last few weeks quite a bit. The hanging scene with father and son reminds me of succession, and how eventually the father must pass on however much the son my try to avoid this. We cannot stop time. The weight the father knows in his life is passed on to the son...and our  parents we become. The things which broke them will eventually break us. Yes, this scene smells of succession alright.

Engsub| Courtney Hadwin :13 year old Golden Buzzer Winning Performance |...

 


I cant stand these talent shows. I absolutely loath them with a vengeance, but when i saw this clip online of a British girls unbelievable voice i immediately thought she must be a case of reincarnation...surely ? Either that or she has a direct line to a higher source. This is unprecidented.

Jimmy Savile - The Modern Day Aleister Crowley, but More Efficient & Adv...

You can come across all sorts on youtube, but i find this fascinating. There is no doubt that Jimmy Savile was a highly regarded man, and had very high up links throughout Britain.

The more i see of show business, the more mystical ideas do seem  oddly prevalent.

Just for the record i loved this mans tv show as a child, and watched it religiously as did most of Britain of my age group.

Bruce Dickinson - Tears of The Dragon (Official Video)

 

Most people know Bruce Dickinson as the lead singer of British metal band Iron Maiden, but there was a time when he left for a while to do solo stuff as all great singers often do. But unlike most legends his solo stuff is rather good. The more i see of it on youtube the more impressed i am. Nowadays he is back with the band again, but his solo work still stands up well.

This House is a Joke

I have to write this as its happening. My life tonight has become a cheesey horror film and im not sure whether to laugh or cower. Something has just throw a hoover nozzel through the kitchen doorway and onto the floor with a crash. Next an almighty creak comes from the oak floor boards upstairs. A strong North wind is moaning around the house tonight also. How i wish i was joking. And why do these things only happen when im alone ?

The Golden Barge ?

I have a long running synchronicity that has lasted years and has not faded away like others. Most days an image of a canal and barge boats appears on the TV news as part of where a news story is set, and i do mean most days. I have a queezy feeling coming over me...

Raising Awareness ? You bet !

Those left wing bastards are fucking with my mind. Only the BBC could front an attractive weather girl with one arm. What really pisses me of is that they make sure she wears a dress that clearly exposes her stump, which she waves around like a character from The Adams Family. 
  I suspect she has been put up to this by the BBC who want to present an attractive woman dressed to impress, but also " innocently " raise awareness of disability. Well this quite sickening and there is a time and a place for everything, not the lunch time news weather bulletin for starters. This is the world we are becoming.

A Sickening Fact

Tonight i learn a sickening fact about a mild mannered friend of the family. He once shot at least 20 cats many years ago that he saw as vermin on his property.  This was not a normal act and must have taken place over a long length of time. I mean who can take aim and pull the trigger so many times ? This is definitely a physcopathic act, and this trait has also been passed down to his son now.
  His son always raised my suspicions due to his lack of empathy regarding a  certain horrific  situation that occurred. The apple it seems doesn't drop far from the tree.  I can see things much more clearly now. Who else have i grown up alongside that harbours dark secrets ?

I cant tell when people are joking.

They cant tell when I'm being serious.    


This is quite a leap of realisation for me.

Lazy Town | No One Is Lazy In Lazy Town

 

My daughter has watched this show for a few years. It always amused me how the key character Sportacus lept everywhere and lived on an impossible diet, and fanatically pushed his energetic lifestyle on all Lazytowns stereotypical inhabitants...at the same time i also realise that his messages were quite relevant... I mean we all know a Robby Rotten...lol
  Now here comes the BIG problem, the fact he recently died of cancer, despite being at the pinnacle of physical fitness. It does make me sad as i quite enjoyed watching this show ( guilty pleasure ), but there is a dark irony behind his death, a cosmic joke that whatever we do we can never out run the hounds of death. Even if we appear super " healthy ". It also raises the question exactly what do we class as " health " ?

Hot Mysterious Summer ?

Its been a very long hot Summer. Many days were 25 + degrees, many of them consecutive, for weeks. Not really "spooky " weather then ? No dark stormy weather as we can sometimes even get during a British Summer. But i must say the heat seemed to trigger strange events, almost i think acting as a catalyst. 
  I had several instances that tested my sanity, and living here has me quite down to earth about things. Objects were moved that should never have moved, and they were moved at very relevant moments. For instance while watching a film a character was yelling for his car keys, immediately my car keys jumped in the key bowl, another instance saw a shoe move by itself  on the kitchen floor when a shoe advert came on tv. Outside on the farm i reached to pick a fork up and it rattled back and forth as i reached out for it.
  There seems to be an intelligent " something " moving these object at key moments to get my attention or is it me causing these objects to move ? Its a possibility that may be happening and im not sure which is more bizarre. Or am i getting ahead of myself here ?
  Last night rattled me however as a security light flashed on, triggered by movement and the clothes line  outside in the garden was spinning at quite a speed, there was no wind and no clothes on it to catch any momentum. Something about the flashing aluminium wheel spinning in the light terrified me and worse next thing i knew the spinning had stopped dead as though it had never been. I think this reminded me of another bloggers instance with a mysteriously spinning fan. It felt connected.
  So does heat make things manifest easier ? I guess energy moves easier in heat ?

Something's Gone ?

What is it about November that sends people over the edge. I know several people online who have suddenly gone off the deep end emotionally. I could say the shorter days are to blame but they have barely started. I have said it before, but i think the emotional sticking plaster of Summer has left and the distractions of rushing around in Summer are no more. Just as the leaves fall to reveal the " black skeletons " the joys of Summer eventually fall  revealing our true selves.

- 2  + - 2  = 4      Can this be true existentially ?

A Womans Eye

Today i caught a woman once again studying me from an angle she had carefully chosen on the edge of my peripheral vision, thinking she would be free from detection. There is a certain satisfaction on catching a woman doing this because they are extremely good at it. The night may have been dark, but my awareness of whats going on in my immediate surroundings is good. Maybe this comes from working with farm animals and always being aware of danger constantly ?
   Do you know how much detail you can catch in this often neglected field of vision, even in the twilight ? A woman when caught staring can look away in a millisecond, but in that instance i caught an intensity in her eye, a hawk like fascination and maybe a moment revealing her true essence of more than a conventionally polite locally re known attractive mother. Who gained the greater insight into who from this interaction i dare not say.

GIGI D AGOSTINO LA PASSION

 





Is it all in the beat ?

My Insane Season

Every year when November approaches my mindset drops off a cliff. My objective thoughts go haywire and are totally lacking in judgement. My subjective thoughts get out of control and i can convince myself of anything. I can look at black and see white almost. 
  Having been through this messy period before i have an unwritten rule that i never make any major decisions  in my life during the 2 months before Christmas as judgement is awful. I can expand this also as to what i post on facebook as my judgement of whats acceptable goes right out of the window as i totally and utterly " forget myself ". This all reaches a peak at Christmas and the shortest day. Thank god i have this blog as a place to air such ideas...a safety valve. Cant do too much self inflicted damage here, can i ? 

Gigi D'Agostino L' Amour Toujours CD1 (1999)

 


This album brings back some memories. This is seriously addictive stuff. The simplicity of the mixes at first appears just basic run of the mill dance music, but very quickly on a second listening the beats draw your emotions along in tow and this becomes esctasy. 
  The rising tones and rigid beats do pull the emotions around and i believe that its this too and fro that makes this album literally a magical tool. Not only does you mood improve, but you feel real hope to dream, and yes i believe that eventually events will bend to your desires. If i had a deeper understanding of the maths and blends of the beats in these songs i might be able to explain how this works. All i can say is it took me on one hell of a journey.... Count the beats in these tracks...1234...123456....1234...ect  A good example is track 11 / PASSION. Still gives me goose bumps.

Gigi D'Agostino - Another Way ( Official Video )

 


For those who have " lived another way " we salute you !  You may think this video is cheesy as hell, and it is...but it captures the mechanical way that some relationships work and come together because they MUST !
    Dagostino's music is magical, literally and thats another story my friends.... Annoyingly this edited version the track does not capture the varying and rigid beats that make his mixes elevate your emotions and propel your mind into nothing less than joy. I even found this to be true during a very torrid time of my life. I may post another track from this album that demonstrates exactly what im wittering on about better.

How many cards are you holding ? !

You cant hold that many cards in your hand ! Have you ever noticed when you debate a social subject online that some people have an angle and answer for everything, a magical spectrum answer that glows and changes colour depending on what angle you examine it from ? This is bullshit. Life is far more simpler than that. Intricate and complex and fragile things in life dont last, and they are not natural. The truth sets your heart racing and requires little thought.. its gut felt. Nope, some people are holding impossible hands of " cards " to play online ! Spot their dropped cards if your lucky...lol

Whats feeding on you ? !

I have been warned, but only now do i feel how much energy has been drained from me by watching certain things online. At the time it may seem innocent and trivial but ive noticed how much more energy i have when i cease viewing such material. Its all a con to drain your life force. Where this energy goes to i wouldnt even like to know. That sort of energy is potent. All i need now is will power...

Classic

Her final blog post 3 - 23  

The Black Races Problem ?

If your race originated in the cradle of civilization, your genes dominate other races offsprings features ,and you are physically stronger and larger on average than other races....then WHY dont you RULE the world ?

Do as i say, not as i do / did...

Unless we spout forth for ourselves, and not to impress others then all is a waste of time and will amount to nothing. Inspiration and ruses are not frowned upon however as theses are honourable qualities. Dont sacrifice talent on the shonky alter of human love. The two cannot last long together...

Is Google a tool of divination ?

The Almighty - Waiting For Earthquakes

   

An English mans love letter to America ?

23

OK....i can roll with it, two funerals this week both quoting Psalm 23

Two Grandparents funerals, one from each side of the family used Psalm 123 a few years ago...


Todays was more remarkable a tale from the mans childhood was told which saw him locking some people in s church for a joke....GET OUT ?   Yet another 23 joke. Something has a sense of humour ?

Boots | TV advert | It’s not just how it makes you look

 


Welcome to the UK...

 

This photo silly as it seems captures everything about me perfectly. 

jung - freud clash in "A dangerous method" Sony pictures

 

I openly admit i am no expert on these matters, but i have had plenty of experience of these sharp cracks manifesting. In fact they are quite common place both in my house and outside. I try maybe too hard to note what emotion or thought is passing through my mind at the time. I even sometimes try to force such noises to occur by thinking sudden acute thoughts. Of course this doesnt work.
   What i have noticed is that the are most common upon waking in a morning, and they seem to come from my bedside table. They are mostly metallic, though sometimes sound like a knock on wood. I have known them frequently occur in electric items, even when they are switched off. Of course when i first watched this clip i was quite excited that someone has documented these weird noises and that i wasnt just imagining them.
  Twice this weekend such noises have manifested. the first was in a building where i was annoyed to find a repair i had made was still allowing water to leak in. The second was one of those metallic cracks when i awoke. It came from my bedside table. The triggers seem to be wide, but all stem from a sudden subject jolting a honest reaction from me, a reaction that has not had the time to be corrupted or candy coated.

  On a more down to earth subject i found this film delivering very little useful info on the subject. In fact it dwelled heavily sexual issues which were  no doubt was factually correct to the story. Oh, and the DVD cover was highly misleading. Im guessing many people got a shock when they watched the film starring our " English rose " lol

Nothing more boring than other peoples dreams...

A few nights ago i dreamt i was stood in a local car park when a small red non descript red car approaches to park. Immediately i noticed the headlights were stupidly over the top bright, and the cars ( why did i just type " cat " ) idle speed was revving away to provide the power for these ridiculously bright lights. Out gets a woman dressed head to toe in bright red lingerie. She walks unhurriedly across the car park in a very normal manner on her way to somewhere in a totally routine manner. What does she represent ? The womans face i did not see...it seems it was not important then ? Examining my palms seems to be though, as i remember looking at them closely in the dream and seeing clearly the  fortune lines on my palms. These words dont do the clarity of the dream justice. This was not an erotic dream in anyway. She was mundane.

Death again, sorry.

" The veil between life and death is very thin. Who knows some of you may even be visited by  X  in the coming few days "  


Not the kind of thing you would expect an ordained Church Minister to say at a crematorium when addressing the family and friends of the deceased. I guess the fact that it was his Mother who had passed away loosened his tongue a little, besides i welcomed a little break from formalities and dogma...I think the church is becoming more open to what were once frowned upon ideas, surely ?


Funeral number 2 next week... A new trend of separating the burial from the service seems to be becoming popular. That will make a two part meal of proceedings. I guess people are valuing privacy at the grave side and having a more social gathering later at at memorial service ? Maybe this reduces stress a little and makes the whole affair a little more manageable. 

Now i wrote about a life long friend who betrayed me a few years ago. Ive never spoken to him since, and i shall see him this week as the coming funeral is unfortunately his fathers. This is awkward in the extreme, and the day will be emotionally charged as it is. He is a volatile man. I have no idea how i will react... I have no idea how i will react.

If it can happen it happens.

We are in constant danger. Today a heavy window frame being fitted to our house by a relation toppled free and fell over on to my Dads head as he sat chatting on our sofa. It left a 3 inch cut. If the frames fall handnt been broken slightly by said sofa it could have been very serious. Accidents are just abound here at the moment. Even sat in a chair you are not safe.

Simples

Millennials live what they preach...any further comment would only detract.

THE SINS OF THE FATHERS, FATHERS, FATHERS FATHER ARE BEING RAINED DOWN UPON THE CHILDREN WHO APPEAR TO LAP IT ALL UP WITH ORGASMIC VIRTUE !!!

Boys who want to be girls and girls who want to be boys !

Today i received some news that actually saw me dumbfounded for about 30 seconds. Now i know the world has gone mad, and the next generation along with it, but when i hear a relations daughter is seeking a sex change then i admit that i see this as the last straw and the ultimate example of how far this life has faltered. Something has gone very wrong here. It actually scares me.
  Of course this operation will come free of charge on our good old NHS due to left wing pc attitudes. There are people who actively encourage this " right " The problem with being liberal today is the fact that youre expected to accept an ever increasing abomination with a smile. So whats next ? Marrying animals is what im predicting. Thats how grim im thinking here. One things for certain things will forever get more screwed up for the next generation. 

You know things are bad when you print facts and you sound unbelievable...

Its a coming, again.

Im going through another tribulation. I know the signs. Sitting in the house at night feeling like im going to explode. Finding little pleasure in anything. not relating to much and feeling that vacuum that proceeds a mighty change.

Last night i woke up and didnt feel it was me looking out of my eyes. It was that vivid, the feeling i was possessed ( what a word ) by something inhuman. After a disturbing 5 minutes it passed as i woke up fully. I have now stopped doing a thing i think was to blame for this. Period.

Finally what a person deletes from their blog tells us much more about them than what they leave on. And, yes  i include myself here....

Death Awareness Week ( seriously )

So im sat in the health centre waiting room just waiting for my name to appear on the TV screen to direct me to the correct consultation room. In between these announcements are various messages appearing on the tv screen also, advising you on every health issues under the sun ect. Very annoying usually...but then up pops this gem. I admit i burst out laughing as its just simply absurd.


"  National Death Awareness Week . WHAT CAN YOU DO ! " 

Well i dont think death needs anymore awareness raising really, and as for what can i do to promote this ? Erm is this a joke ?

Gary Numan - Love Hurt Bleed

There was a time when my Facebook was like this music video. Dark, anxious silly days.

Monty Python-The Meaning of Life-Death

I have 2 imminent funerals to attend very soon. I guess im over compensating by this post, but laughter is all we may have in the end. And hey, it seems even the middle class die... lol

Everywhere i look there is crazy shit.

Its crazy.

And its SHIT.

Only a woman...

Last week an automatic outside light gave a few flashes and went dead. Nothing remarkable about that. This weekend on returning home at dusk my wife asked me why the light wasn't coming on automatically. At that EXACT second it gave 4 flashes and has been dead ever since.  There seems to be something punctuated here. A purposeful and not very subtle attempt to gain attention.

Gary Numan - M.E. (Wall-E Music Video)

   

There is no doubt that the people in this hamlet will soon have died, moved on or just forgot to stay. Slowly people are passing on or planning to move. At this time of my life i'm at a constant here. All others are on the move...

" When there's no one left tonight, when there's no one left to see. When there's ONLY me... "

Can You Feel It Too ?

We are living in a new Aeon. In this age all the factors to enable a thing to succeed can be present but this is STILL not ENOUGH.

Nature is a good example. This valley has been in an environmental conservation scheme for 2 decades and still there is no more wildlife, in fact less wildlife is present here now.

A record breaking hot Summer has not produced anymore butterflies despite ideal conditions.

Fishery nets in the estuaries have been removed but migrating fish are a fraction of what they once were.

We can meddle and bend to aid nature but its all in vain. Something MORE is WRONG here...

Black September

Im getting that end of September hacked off feeling. Historically i have experienced many unpleasant events during this month. Much trouble, trouble such as the death of my Grandad, my Dads breakdown, having to move house against my will, increasing work load on the farm....the list goes on. 
  Another fact that cannot be escaped apart from the fact that Winter is returning, is the realisation that everything changes from the previous Summer circumstances. Mindsets change. Goals change and people change. Everythings turned on its head.

Gary Numan "Down in the Park" (Sulpher mix)

   


I cant exactly explain why but this track reminds me of the atmosphere of this valley where i live. Maybe its because this supposed " rural idyll " contains extreme violence and horrific happenings that seem to be ignored or not talked about by those who are local. I join the dots to see the picture most simply try to ignore...the decapitated murder remains hidden a few miles from here...the genuine spontaneous human combustion case just down the road...see my point ? Hidden beneath the seemingly innocent surface lurks another world, another side to the "park "

There are many signs that something is wrong in a persons life. Many of these are today considered just normal...

Yellow is the colour of the moment ?

When you know theres a reason your watching that film....

" These are the dream walkers. a witches secret weapon. Somehow they crawl in your mind and steal your favourite memories and turn them into your worst nightmares "   


This line just jumped out at me as im watching a average horror film starring Vin  diesel ( yes, really )

Who can withstand this ?

My Uncle told me this weekend that the most powerful image no one can fight is the image of a mother holding her baby. He is right. Any politician suggesting a policy that sees her loose any income finds themselves very quickly on the rocks of public opinion. Even world leaders bow to her during elections. Public opinion struggles to condemn her, even if she plays the welfare system. Advertisers over use her as a fail safe image to connect with even the most insular people. Take your potshot...then duck and cover because you have already unleased a shit storm your way...

But what does it mean ???

Today a triple synchronicity occurred.

1 ) I read a bloggers account of a strange unexplained noise coming from her fan...

2 ) Ive just returned from town after ordering a radiator fan for my car as the old one was humming.

3 ) My daughter comes home from school and turns on her favourite show - Fireman Sam. The episode was about a bus that caught on fire because its radiator fan had broken.

Impurities of the Blood ?

Its often with an almost embarrassed cringing that i re- echo what another blogger has just written , but i cannot deny i have also had my own very similar recent experiences. A month ago i started   to have negative dreams about a past social situation. The dreams filled me with un-ease and a great sadness when i awoke. You see this past situation despite the pit falls and dangers ended very well, though it did finally end...
  So where is this " false scenario " and past " negative past " come from ? In my dreams the person i befriended ignores me in social gatherings. It hurts. The dreams are subtle and frequent as though something is trying to re-write a false past.
  Maybe this is just my past anxiety's bubbling up, but i feel as though they are the running of an alternative past, maybe even if this is only an outcome i always expected, but were lucky enough to conquer and avoid back then.
  Its odd now as several years have passed since the friendship ended so i see no idea why i should be dreaming of unfulfillment. It does seem as though i am being tormented in a much too late attempt to take away what i deemed a success.
  When i wake up i have to recall memories to prove to myself these dreams are a false past and they never even come close to representing the truth. I hate them. They are a petty manifestation of either my own warped mind or anothers. Luckily they have ceased recently. I mean these up heavals are hrd enough to cope with once, never mind a fake retrospective insane re-writing.

  

Its that time of year again... This picture captures the dark, mucky decent from Summer to Autumn.  What really excites me is how accurate the blue sky colours are for this time of year. There is always that first cold gust of wind that announces the change, and here she embraces it. Also women Summer well and by Autumn they are in peak breeding condition, as such. And as a man just trust me on that ! The corn swaying seems particularly pagan too. A season of unease and change.

In the desert life attracts life
In life, like attracts like.

Developing Goppleganger ?

Today a photograph was reluctantly brought to my attention on facebook. My relation really wondered whether he was doing the right thing showing  it to me. The thing was several other people he knew had come to the same conclusion that this photograph was just plain disturbing. The photo was of a family member and a lodger who comes from Brazil. The odd thing is that his face seems to becoming disturbingly like my Sisters in its bone structure. Again this is not my observation, but now im wondering whether this is a trick of the light or just a freak photograph. This weekend i should get the answer.

There is little " forbidden fruit " nowadays, but what is still forbidden today is more forbidden than ever.   A style of sentence make up is returning to me....

Sea Cave Alter ?

   

Well i finally did it after failing 18 months ago. Last time i attempted this 3 mile coastal walk from Tintagel to Boscastle i didnt get above half a mile before i couldnt climb the cliff steps. I just stood and looked at them. I couldnt physically climb them or even start too. Something was very wrong and a visit to the doctor eventually revealed i had a vitamin B12 shortage...Anyway feeling in much better health this year i relished completing the walk, after all i had a distinct feeling there was something  waiting there me ....

It wasnt long before i found a sea cave. It was angled so i couldnt see inside from any direction. Suddenly a large block of quartz caught my eye, next how flat and table shaped it was gave me an odd feeling. Of course next i noticed how the over hanging slate seemed angle like a roof giving shelter. Getting nearer was impossible as it was on the edge of a shear drop. Ive heard the mystic Dion Fortune used a sea cave around there for her magick. Is this an alter ? I'd say so. It is definitely man made. Its not beyond reason to think this may well be that very cave. Well i like to think so.

When finally walking past i got a distinct atomosphere of the past i used to get when i was heavily into this scene. It felt like bumping into the old me. It was a nostalgic feeling and only on passing did it fade and then a great sadness came over me for a while. It soon passed, but that feeling of past moons and malarkey stayed with me. I feel there is some essence of me here. Its odd. Instinct tells me im part of something forever now...

BOOK OF LIES Crowley 18 DEWDROPS

 


Why does life continue  ? Obviously we procreate a replacement, but an essence that is not entirely understoood by us is also passed down.  I shall stop short of saying God, for now... This idea makes sense to me. Its so obtuse i can go with it.

Divine Comedy

" Oh no, the house is on fire...again ! "

Gary Numan- I Am Dust (Official Lyric Video) [HQ]

Yes, my ordeal of the past years is well and truly over...maybe it was all a distraction from the mundane future ? Of course it also sparked all the experiences and awareness that have been channelled into this blog as well ! Another contradiction. Looking back maybe she was a tool.... " torn from the path of least resistance "

In the eyes of the slave....

 

" In the eyes of the slave the master is always wrong " Aleister Crowley

LAST AGAIN....?

Today has been bizarre in the extreme. I went to an Auction Mart to sell something. In the course of the day i noticed a strange synchronicity. It started in the cafe when i was told i had just bought the LAST  can of Coke. I then drew some money out from the office and was told i had just taken the LAST £20 note they had. Returning to the cafe i was told i had just bought the LAST pork pie. When our number was drawn to decide our place in the sale we were utterly LAST at the end...

LAST - why is this so deserving of my attention ???

Oscillation

 Q -   What speeds up as it slows down ?   
 A -   An oscillating object.  


For several years not just i, but family and visitors have noticed that objects such as cups, bottles and pans all wobble when placed down on our kitchen surface. This action speeds up until the object is no longer moving. Another fact that jumps out at me is an incident when a electric toothbrush started to wobble back and forth as i sat at the other end of the room.

Oscillation reminds me of how our minds swing from one view point to another before finally resting at a fixed judgement. I believe this process speeds up and becomes most frantic before the halt. Hence the speed increases during the ending.

Public Image Ltd - Rise (12"Version) (1986/ 2013)

 

I admit i could be wrong...

They would say that...

You wouldnt ask a widow to justify the war, so why do you....

TRUTH or DARE ?

If a view is confirmed from many angles must this be the truth. Some of these angles may even be falsehoods. THE BIG PICTURE.

Copacabana - Barry Manilow - Lyrics

I remember this song playing on the radio as a child. Of course i had no idea of the total lyrics until this week. The final verse paints a bleak modern day outcome for this song lyric romance...an out come of destruction and entropy. 
  We sometimes fail to realise that old people were not always old , and buildings hold a history we may never learn of. There is nothing new under the sun as they say, but tales evapourate over time and who knows what stories get lost ? If these walls could talk !!

The cruel creators sport ?

Insults ! Crass observations ! Unbelievable painful words typical of past emotional upsets remanifesting...even now decades later, situations try to remanufacture themselves, and at this time of life ? Why i left that malarky behind a long while ago..didnt i ? It seems i am being tested and my response seals whether ive moved on or will fall into the old pitfalls....

The Tyranny of Black ?

At what point would you start to view, and I stress start to view a race in a negative light, or one of wary suspicion ? After one incident...or two ? The answer to this question obviously depends on your surroundings. After all if you lived in a predominantly white rural area then any incident with a person of colour would be rare, very rare. Two negative ones and your cause for concerns would be unprecedented. In fact two incidents of destruction with your families sphere would be highly unlikely where I live. This fact is critical to the story I am about to tell.
 
POINT 1 - Recently my Sisters marriage has unfortunately broken up. A few years ago she sponsored a black Brazilian boy of 16 years to come and live with her family in the UK. This was quite an eye opener. Of course the greatest driver was the fact he was to have a shot at a great Western education, a shot he duly flunked when exam time conformed he had put little effort into his studies. Disappointing for everyone concerned really....
  It amused me greatly however as I found myself comparing him to the character Heathcliff from the romantic and dark novel Wuthering Heights, after all I read that Heathcliff  came from abroad in the novel and was reputed to be coloured. He too was accepted into a family and expected to improve himself... A flimsy link you might think, but as I live right next door to one of the main rumoured sites that is said to have inspired the book, I think I can safely make that amusing comparison...lol




As I googled this photo a synchroncity type cracking sound has just occurred in my room...


  This particular property was notorious for being the last household in the UK to release its slaves after slavery was outlawed. It is rumoured that after the slaves were released they attacked the locals and were eventually rounded up and massacred in a river they became trapped by. I sometimes wonder what dark curses they cast upon their masters and whether these thoughts still linger here.
  I remember the intense feeling on unease when this young man visited our house. His black face looked bemused with a gentle smile. It seemed a link to history and almost a calling call from the deep past.
  The ending of my Sisters relationship was no doubt aided by sponsoring this young man within her own home, and this contributed to the relationships demise. A fact I am now retrospectively considering in a new light.



POINT 2 - A second shock occurred recently when I found a relatives step sibling had become pregnant by a black man who then proceeded to loose his job. Extremely unlikely where I live. Again a coloured person had brought disaster and upheaval to someone linked to my family. Again its the unlikeliness of the situation that raises my eyebrows. I hear nothing good about him from family.

These 2 events seem to be linked. Is there an order to this ? Soon a coloured child will be born - a Heathcliff who will no doubt be troubled. Has this event been pushed to manifets ? Other events linked to the novel have also manifested both as relationships and supernatural events.

POINT 3 - Last Summer a troubling synchronicity started when I noticed clusters of black cars. Sometimes in car parks, sometimes in convoy on motorways, sometimes a lot closer to home. At the time they seemed to scream out at me that this was not coincidence. I even saw a group of 6 or 7 on motorway with the front car having a reg plate that bore my name. At that point I decided I was being pointed towards something. I nick named these gathers of cars The Tyranny of Black ! Were they the mocking or warning actions that foretold this black problem ?

The above sounds like a mad story and maybe it is, but it seems to gel together. Could there really be  a " black curse " ? I know that my family name was cursed along with two other loca familyl names for being caught fighting in the local church grounds in past times.
  Can fictional writing or stories effect real life or cause actual manifestations ? I know for a fact that fictional novel plots can manifest into reality. After all real life events inspire fiction so why could they not be changed back to real life later by fiction in a bizzare full circle ?

I would call myself delusional was it not for the highly unlikely historical connection ive pointed  out or if I lived in an urban location I would have put down the events to pure chance. Unfortunately I do not have that luxury...

 

O.K so what has this photo got to do with the subjects on this blog ? Oddly it turned up on my fb memories as of a year ago, so I decided to use it as a new background to my page. Within an hour of doing this, I came across a woman in a bright red new Aston Martin sports car just parked in the middle of our single track road. Turns out a field gate was blowing open into her path. As I live in a remote area and the road is only a single track one I find this coincidence a bit to much to laugh off. Lets call it a synchronicity ? No, she wasn't armed...

Looser show boating ???

Sorry....another draft i must have thought better than to post....lol

Life is Short, Have a Diet Coke | Because I Can | Diet Coke

And suddenly here we are. How have we reached the day when drinking a Coke needs justification, and is something that requires an effort, or that it might just be a little odd to do...or quirky. How have we got here ? I fear the BMW driving, lycra wearing, gym obsessed types may have got to us more than we care to admit it.

  Has the social climate changed so much that we need to think about the suitability of this everyday soft drink ? Maybe it has...and hell you know what im going to go all wild and drink one, after all we all partake in different activities to express of our personalities.

  Ironically diet Coke tastes foul and I couldn't ever justify drinking one, not even for the sake of it or to express my independent wild side ( joke )

  Today even the most basic of everyday building blocks are being reinvented and torn apart. Im lost as to where it is all coming from. This is how you get old, the confusion and slow process of losing touch with general opinion.

 

 

I found this due to a wandering Google search for a word or name that turned up in a vivid dream in the early hours. Why do the words in dreams always differ slightly from a nice clean match with search results ? Still they often bear some similarity or relevance to your outlooks.

WHERE THERE IS A WILL WE FIND A WAY

WHEN THE WILL IS NO MORE THEN THE WAY IS ONCE AGAIN LOST

Madonna - Dear Jessie lyrics

One of the greatest changes in my life has been the discovery of different realities when visiting Cornwall's esoteric centre in Tintagel. There is an area linked to the mythical legends that at first appears quaint or even tacky, but this cannot belie the fact that something that bends reality resides there. Or we could call this an thinning of the veil. This seems a childish thing say, but our past fantasies can seem to manifest in these areas, however silly or fantastic.
  During the everyday battle of existence is tempered by the thought in the back of my brain that yes, there is more to life than what I see on a day to day basis. What a relief. My, god what a relief.

Gary Numan - Love Hurt Bleed

I always wanted a top hat. Joking aside you never know who is on the other side of that screen....

Gary Numan - Ancients

When you have the chance to catch up with someone you once had a bond with, do you fear they have changed ? I may soon have this chance...maybe...

Simple Minds- Don't You (Forget About Me) - Lyrics

I only this week learnt the true full lyrics to this song. Male / female friendships do not last forever, life makes sure of it. Still we like to think that others remember what made us tick during those hazy days. The risky part is hoping to re-kindle any deep bond. Maybe that's our greatest insecurity and fear ?

The body tells you what your mind dare not speak.

Arla Cravendale: The Moonicow TV ad

I shall start by saying that if you cant laugh at yourself....Yes, this tongue in cheek " mystical " advert was filmed almost entirely in my valley. In fact the view with the red tractor in the field was the view from my backdoor when I still lived in the village.

  I must admit it all looks very idyllic on TV, and im guessing it was filmed at the height of June judging by the greens. The only thing that's baffling me is exactly when did it stop raining long enough to film this ?

 Im sure some of you would expect this advert would be me if our farm ever went back into milk production. Ohhh, that's a little close to the bone.Still if you cant laugh at yourself...

Gary Numan- Absolution (Hybrid Mix)

Its tracks like this that make Gary Numan stand out from anything else ive heard.

Satan ?

Today on a grey, very cold and wet afternoon as I sat in a café watching an unlikely and un- natural situation form between 2 people I quietly contemplated the existence of Satan. Now sometimes we dig our own graves, I know, and sometimes we see them being dug for us.
  The pasts hang ups never really heal, we just bury the whole mess and eventually it works its way up again by means new. The odds are long so we know we are not mistaken when we identify the foe once more. Are we baited ?

What nail have i hit on the head here ?

So whats the big deal ?  Today the 3rd woman online to insult my appearance spouted forth. I'm obviously ruffling some feathers here, but why resort to physical insults ? Only a woman would do this as they are an appearance based medium. Saying that maybe its not so surprising that when they loose their cool they resort to appearance based insults ? I was hoping for better than this stereo type, honestly....

Gary Numan - Crazier

Gary Numan - Crazier