Eventually in life you get to know your own mind quite well . You catch the beginnings of what you now know today are long winded thought processes that must pass through certain fixed points along the way before reaching any " permanent " outlook . My decision making process is convoluted and drawn out . Its hard work and complex . I find I can find excuses for and against an action but can never reach a true decision based on reason . In the end I just swing one way or the other so I get no closure because Ive found no reason . However when I decide not to do something its always for the WRONG reason !. I saw a quote recently that suggested that if a thing was not immediately in your sphere or being thought about it didn't cease to exist as such . That's true . Leaving situations hanging will never bring any peace of mind .
Ive mentioned before that the whole mystical or subjective viewing of things can leak into other areas of your life , even everyday relationships and contacts . This can really mess up decision making because you already have a very fluid , suggestible mind . This is a blessing as you are not constrained by conventional outlooks , but on a down side reaching conclusions is nigh impossible with such a mind . See my point ? Over time you realise there are two reality's . The one you are battling backwards and forwards in a thought process of attrition , and the other is just the simple all consuming mystical view of " do what thou whilst " . Im currently caught between these two mind sets and a battle is coming ...
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