A brave new world for me....

Im tired and in one of those moods when I swear there is something always just out of site in the air around me. I catch suggestions of movement. Maybe Im just tired. Today has felt like no other equivalent day of past years. Spring has always had a certain feeling, this has changed somehow today. Everything familiar feels different . I am now even more aware that Im lacking something than I was, something even those similar to me in real life can even manage ? I am so deeply different Its irreconcilable . Yes that's old ground ive been over, but tonight I feel it all too much. Something will give soon. I know how this goes....

Oh Yes, a laugh a minute on here !

Sometimes esoteric forces have a sense of humour in their working as an old address I once frequented was 23 Anchorite Fields. 23 means " get out " and an Anchorite was a medieval religious student who devoted their life to God by being permanently walled up in a room , but able to give guidance to visitors through a hatch. Yes, that was humour !

Tonight as I was researching in depth my 23 synchronicity I came across a Google targeted add telling me a certain country was wanting me to consider emigration no less. Of course it was a pun again and not a literal interpretation of " get out " , but it was duly noted and made me laugh...

23- Onwards and upwards, not backwards.
      Backwards no longer exists
      The equivalent of a brick wall
      Impossible/Impassable
      I wait for further guidance
      Time does not measure
      This is the ONLY way out for us
      Over the edge...
     

My 700 th post

Ive been doing a lot of soul searching today as an empty feeling is creeping back again. This cant continue. I cant spend the rest of part of my life in a void. I then realised Ive been very lucky to have met some amazing people who have moved me both on and off line. Ive seen unseen things, sometimes accidentally. Ive experienced Boscastle and its mystery's , Ive followed the Moon cycles with great results, but none of these things give me lasting satisfaction in an everyday sense. Thats because they are not everyday things. I need to view life in two separate slices and find satisfaction in the everyday by its mundane responsibilities.
   I feel like the character Tallow in The Golden Barge by Micheal Moorcock. Tallow finds many interesting things in the world and charismatic people on his journey, but none fill his soul for long and on he moves. No one supplys enough reason to live his life their way for long, this ends up seeing him following his hearts desires through many years and various lands, and his final thought is that any happiness must come from the everyday mundane side of life, or was that the end of Brave New World as well ? Anyway I feel as though ive reached the sea as Tallow did. The sea of course was the end of the river that Tallow travelled . I wonder what happens now ?

And before anyone pipes up about God, I view this subject as yet another distraction from the everyday. I have had enough distractions thank-you .

Peppa Pig goes existential ...

"  Oh, no the wind has dropped ! "

" What are we going to do ? " 

" We must wait for the wind to start again "

" And how long will that take ? "

" It could be weeks..... "

An Unpleasant Feeling

Ive always found May a lonesome month. Don't get me wrong, Im pleased to see Summer coming and a change of routine in my work, but there is a cold North wind that blows through the fresh green trees and over the green fields that echoes an emptiness that's soul destroying. Its kind of great truth. Its an in between seasons moment. Its terrifying , even as the sun shines. Its a looking glass which gives a brief clear view of what lies beneath life; a cycle of limited life no less. The seasons will continue on after Im long gone, maybe that's what scares me about the approaching Summer/end of Spring.

Is this Pan ?

16th Century China

Last night I had the strangest dream. In the dream my daughter, who is two, started to tell me facts that were quite alarming, but when I awoke I had forgotten them all. Well all but the part of a sentence which oddly said " A 16th century Chinese.... "   I panicked  at that point in the dream and unfortunately woke up, next I hear the creaks and cracking noises in my attic that are so common at various periods of time. I do however have my theory's about this bizarre piece of a sentence , and believe it is of great relevance. Time will tell  : )

Somethings In The Air

I feel a great rush of positive energy ( yes, really ! / no I haven't been to Glastonbury yet  ) at the moment. Maybe its the beginning of May thats responsible due to the changing brighter light and the land coming back to life. Last night I noticed the clouds were getting that bubbly Summer look to them, and the blue sky was nice and pale blue. I sense all the energy of Summer that's to come, those moon light nights and hazy days. Physically I also know my body and mind need a rest and my holiday to Glastonbury is only at the end of this month...
   I even got round to taking a new profile picture, which I did in a manic fashion last night. It seemed an urgent task, don't know why, maybe Spring has gone to my head ! lol  As always my profile picture looks a bit scary, they always do... Very few men on blogger show their face and I think if you post views like mine its a cop out if you cant put your face to them . The irony is can I adjust my blog layout to include a profile pic ? Er... Im struggling !

The " season " has begun again, shall we get started ?!

Caution ?

Left a comment on a new rather interesting blog I found, and the prove your not a robot code I was to use was none other than the word   " CAUTION " !!!  This morning I see why.  Are there really that many coincidences ? Either way somethings a miss here , but it would be impossible to orchestrate , so that only leaves the fact, that most bloggers are game players !!! I have been warned about this before . . Not sure where this leaves my view on blogging anymore. Not good.

Update:  Of course Ive seen enough over these last few months to know that not all people portraying things personal to me are aware of the gravity of what they are doing. I get this kind of thing all the time now and I must decide on an out look to deal with extreme " coincidences " . These extreme coincidences are apparently common in my line of interests , after all Ive experienced this many times before, but its getting to a stage now when I need a philosophy to deal with them...