The problem is the vaccine. Covid will not be allowed to disappear before the solution.

The end ?

 I actually felt relaxed today. Thats the first time this Christmas. Its been awful, but I think or hope my downward spiral has bottomed out today. Its been very useful posting about this December descent and when viewed as whole my posts show a slow build to a dark influence. My random post of the dam collapse I found on You tube predicted the awful water trouble ive had for instance. Im hoping this full moon brings this horrible circuit of negative energy to a close. 

Mean while on Face Book I came across a meme about how the sun stops still for I think it was the 3 days before Christmas but on Christmas day it starts to move again as it is " reborn " This overlaps with the worst of my luck and moods for December. Ive always felt a marked improvement in my outlook on Boxing Day. 

Moods can be worked on but luck cannot. I dont want to go through this again next year. Now to try and have some fun before this festive season in over !

Everything in my life is becoming unsustainable...

" The world doesnt revolve around you Dad ! "

 I made the mistake of taking a shopping trip into town on Boxing day today. Anything I wanted was out of stock or the store was closed. After a bad week I suddenly realized on the drive home how hard it has become to acquire what was once so easy. I keep being told in stores that they dont sell the items Im wanting much anymore. Time is gradually making me an irrelevance. Goods in general are not being marketed at me. Cars for example are now rapidly heading towards being electric. Im being by past and its going to get worse...

There is a storm blowing outside tonight and it wet and cold.

Merry Christmas, eh ?

 Dec 22nd -  Water bowl for cows stops working. Buy and fit new one

Dec 23rd- Water bowl at other side of building snaps off flooding building and the stop tap breaks at the same time !?

Dec- 24th Another water bowl gets air locked. Wifes newly repaired bumper has scrape on it. I go for a drive and ABS sensor wire wears through on driveshaft. Power steering packs up due to low oil level all of a sudden. Mother reverses into neighbors car. 1000 liter water container falls of tractor in yard.

This is what I have to put with and its quite normal for Christmas. Last night as the wind got up and the early dusk set In I could feel that force that vents its anger here every December. Its an emotion of bitter joy in the air. I can feel the festive vibe but everything thats happening here to me is isolating me from it with a vengeance. Easter is the same funnily. Everything goes haywire then to. It seems to be the religious holidays that are the problem and hence ive grown to hate them, really hate them.

Update Dec- 26th Another bowl has started leaking and a neighbors water pipe has burst. WTF 

Zoom carol service gate crashed !

 Well, well, well..If I didnt see this with my own eyes and have it confirmed by another then I would have not believed it. Somehow amongst the Christmas carol subtitles on a local Zoom service the name CATHERINE randomly appeared. As I live next door to the original site that gave inspiration to Wuthering Heights this is striking in the extreme. It gets better when I look at my Face Book memories though as I made a joke 3 years ago to the day about her character.

What could have caused this ? Lots of local people " gathered " but separate concentrating on a single goal ? Im getting palpations here. Oh, and last but not least a film crew have been scouting the property with the view to making a " Bronte " film. CAN YOU SEE IT YET ?

Live as if...

 " Behave like you already have the new strain of virus " 

Im saying no to that insanity.

Anger is the prelude to ACTION !!!

People have started saying " My days " instead of " My God "

 

And so it starts...

. Today I woke up and every muscle and joint hurt. I had zero energy. A freak accident occurred when one of our dogs fell off the quad bike but was still attached by its chain. It made no sound at all so by the time  realized what had happened it had scraped and cut its legs. Had I not noticed at all I could have dragged it to its death. I felt sick.

 The nights have turned that Winter ink black. Ive regained a little energy tonight after an afternoon sleep. The phone kept ringing every 10 minutes though. This often happens when I try to have a day time sleep. I ignored it... Turns out my wife was stuck in a field after her car slid off a track. Whoops !

 My head feels thick and my eyes are sore. Im fighting to keep a sociable air to me. Each negative feeling is expanding daily. Christmas street lights look watery and irritating. Well this is that Christmas land Im drifting into. Can you see it ? Its like an alternative black anti happiness season ? 

Gary Numan Hybrid Album

Taken from the best Numan album I think. Or rather ive stopped looking much further after finding this double album of his remixed songs. My CD is worn out now after 2 years . Apparently remixed by the best of the best Goth bands and boy does it sound good, not that im into Goth really... There are some very dark lyrics and images on a lot of the tracks. Definitely a winter album.

Kaboom !

 I dont know how to explain this without sounding utterly mad but twice this week ive experienced a loud bang not in my ears but in my thoughts !

 The first instance saw the noise ( is it technically a noise if only I heard it ) manifest as I was daydreaming half asleep and the second as I awoke. Ive never experienced anything like this before. What else can I say ?Sound in our thoughts is nothing new but an unexpected sudden violent noise that intrudes on our thoughts is something totally new to me. Its deeply unsettling as this is no subtle thing. This must be profound. Something is happening...

Bleak

 

Self sabotage

  As the days shorten I begin to get a growing urge to buy hand tools. There is a deep pleasure and satisfaction to this. I guess this goes hand in hand with my fixing bug that also grows with December and the fading light. I am on a sliding scale here and it will end in tears by Christmas. The compulsion to tinker gets over whelming and my judgement worsens. Team this up with the entropy that grows daily until New Year and I will do something I regret.

Good is stronger than evil ?

 Its quite bizarre  ( yes Ive finally found spell checker ) that another was blogger recently examining the war between good and evil and whether there is a winner in the long run. Which is stronger then and why is this so ? A Face Book memories post popped up last week from around 5 years ago in which I gave my theory as to which is the greater and why.

The whole idea was prompted by the scandal a few years ago regarding  my childhood hero Jimmy Saville. Now here was a darling of family TV and indeed childrens TV. I watched his tea time show in which he made childrens wishes come true. This was a very well known show in the 70's and 80's He also raised MILLIONS for charity and hospitals. How could anyone like this fall from grace ? Unfortunately after his death the truth came out that he was a serious child abuser on a horrific scale. So was he good or evil ? How could and why would he be both ? 

We have all heard the tales of " Damascus road " type of conversions where an evil person has undergone a dramatic conversion to devoting their time and assets to a force for good. For example Nicky Cruz the gang member from what I can recall who suddenly left his old life behind and followed the good path. Im showing my age dropping that name..lol Was it the TV evangelist Billy Graham who preached his story ? I think it was. Anyway it seems that good can totally eradicate evil in a case like this. But what about the good man who is corrupted by evil ? 

When evil tempts a good man you would think it would utterly destroy the good as good can do to evil, but no, the good part carries on and lives in a strange tandem with evil. Rarely does evil destroy the good in a man utterly. Their are countless examples in the media of the outing of good mens failings but the good they are still doing suddenly gets ignored and after all how can we accept such a contradiction ? We like absolutes and no ambiguity.

So good can destroy evil totally and even where it succumbs to the seduction of evil rarely does it do so 100% . For example a child abusing Priest, does he suddenly leave the church and live out an orgy of evil destruction, no. His good works continue. You might not like it, but continue they do and thats a very important point to note. A profound one. Good can still flourish along side evil. Uncomfortably maybe, but it can. Its with these two ideas that I conclude that good is stronger than evil. Can anyone be 100 % evil ? Now that is a question !

Stop me if im wrong ?!

 If a wise man today disregards what he believed once to be a truth years ago... and if I today am undecided on the merits of said subject...does this make ME ahead of him on the curve ? If i am undecided I am not falling foul of any falsehood. The future is not set in concrete...

Covid, Christ and Cults

 Before I start lets clear a few things up. Do I believe Covid 19 is real ? Yes. Do I know people who have had it in a non lethal form ? Yes. Do I believe its " over egged " by the media and government ? Yes. Do I believe the current regulations should be scrapped ? Yes. And while were at it borrowing an extra 350 billion looks extremely suspect to me. Maybe this extra spending is to mask something else...like Brexits upcoming mess ? You dont need to hold your breath either as the UK leaves on the 1st of January. Anyway lets get to that messy post title and how ive come to it.

They are dying for you. How many times did we hear that disturbing statement in March along side the slogan STAY HOME / STAY SAVE LIVES / SAVE THE NHS ? There is no doubt that health workers have been portrayed as dying for other peoples actions. This was one of the key reasons spouted in response to those who thought the movement restrictions were not applicable to them. Its as though the advertising masterminds behind these eye catching slogans were drawing a parallel with Christ dying for people sins. In fact those who disobeyed these instructions were being held accountable with the death of nurses who were in turn being painted as saints or angels by the general media. In fact there are further parallels with religion as in the way the public hangs on every word of advice.

Faith. Blind faith ? Still now, and even after all this time people are believing blindly that if they stick to the rules they will be " safe ". Such is the fear. Listening to the government you would believe that following their rules will spare your life or deliver you from death. Utter tosh. Life is random. This thinking is just another form of faith based on no evidence. And like faith the messages stand up by themselves due to the believers mind set. Its not really surprising considering the climate of fear. After all what else do they have to cling to ? People literally are following a religion that requires ritual. This ritual they believe will deliver them from the disease. 

It is also very interesting that the hand washing methods they push are those that OCD sufferers are afflicted with and as my wife suffers from them in know this is correct. Government recommends that we sing the Happy Birthday song 3 times to ourselves as we wash as a timing device to make sure we have washed sufficiently. This is a ritual. Its brain washing. It is dangerous. 

There are much darker facts though when we look at the style of out put that our government pushes. In fact they have followed the methods used by many cults. Firstly isolate your subject from familiar people such as family and friends. Secondly bombard the subject with slogans and messages relentlessly. Our media are still at it. They like to use 3 part short slogans that stick in our minds such as the STAY AT HOME...one. Finally they bombard us with the fear of death if we disobey. In fact the fear of death at any moment. I mean how much more cult like can get here ? 

Its of no surprise that this Christmas we are all stressing about who we should let into our homes over our 5 allotted days of freedom. The thought of being off the leash scares us. This is how far we have come. We are like dogs that have not grasped that our chains have been unleashed and still we wont move ! Thats a sure sign we are beat and all it took was less than 9 months of conditioning. In fact our government no knows that at any point in the future they will say jump and we will say how high ? We have being trained utterly to not think.

A Window Opens

Well i wasnt expecting to post this today. Suddenly at dusk the temperature rose and the humidity. Clouds took on a billowing dark grey appearance as they do in March. It feels as though a portal has opened to that strange time that proceeds Spring. A great energy ?

 

Time Is Getting On ?

Are we what weve become or where we have come from in the end ?

 

Hollow Moon

Hollow moon illuminates the naked sky. On nights like these there is a terrible atmosphere of timeless sorrow and loss. It is absolute and existential. True beauty that will never die.

 

December Descent

 

Its a beautiful moon light night and there is a chill in the air...almost a romance between the black nights and the icy cold. An emotion of hysterical optimism   inhabits the dusk hour and soon a sweet moment the first few moments of the dawn.

 

MetalTrump - Symphony Of Destruction (Megadeth)

    

We all need a laugh after this year.

I cant make the link from this blog to my new one work. Google the following address to gain access.

davidhaygarth23decemberdecent@blogspot.com

Slippage or an echo ?

 I am finding that objects jump a little before i touch them sometimes. Sometimes this happens after I have just picked them up and set them down again. I got quite a shock last night at 2am as i woke up thirsty and was considering a drink on my bed side table. A few seconds later as a lay half asleep I heard a definite clonk noise as though my mug had been placed down quite hard on the wooden surface. 

I am considering the idea that time is slipping here. I dont think the moment is matching the present, a delay as such or a prelude. Why does this vary ? This would explain the noises from the past which reoccur here, say a horse and cart that my parents heard when i was a child one winters night. It would also explain a bath room door that shook as though someone was trying to kick their way in. That was around 10 years ago. So was it back then a future manifestation of a noise to come, a prediction. You see my daughter who was born several years later after tried to kick her way into the bathroom and the din and door shaking reminded me of the original incident. A slippage of years, but could be seconds, could be a hundred years. Slippage may not be as good a description as as an echo ? An echo of the future ?!

One thing is for certain. These incidents are becoming common place here. History seems to tell that this geographic location is prone to these events. Why ? I used to automatically turn to the simple explanation of the a good old traditional haunting by spirits and it may well still be that. But after 5 years of being back in this house I am joining the dots to form some kind of picture. What my interpretation of  this picture is  may well be open to speculation. I think this theory is less disturbing than thinking my house is full of un-seens. Maybe im deluding myself.

New blog inspired by the Winter cycle.

Etheral December ?: Runaway heart: And so it starts...the countdown to the month December, a sharp change. My impatience caused me to write this post last night, and it then s...

Give me a bit of little volume on this...

Feeling more than a little excitable listening to this CD on a  moon light night. Sounds so much better on my Hi Fi. That's the way music used to be played and should be played. Enjoying the music without the original driver this time...

My new blog !

davidhaygarth23decemberdescent.blogspot.com

Due to my impatience im starting this blog tonight. Call it the " build up " to December, but after all Winter starts here does it not ? Well the mindset does for me...

Dreaded December !

I am seriously considering creating a new blog that captures my thoughts and feelings about the month of December. A month I find very hard due to the darkness and dreaded seasonal disorder. I think I will find it useful to look back on after the Christmas period and evaluate exactly what my problem is here. Its the final decent of the years energy and will hit rock bottom before rising in early January. I suspect it will be a mixture of poems, observations and music so it shouldn't be too over bearing. I also think I am going to make a point of the dates at which I post so as to make a time line of sorts. By December I may not have the energy ironically...lol But I shall try ! I shall try and work on some photos too, yes that's a good idea.

Gigi D'Agostino - La Marche Electronique ( Tecno Fes 1 )

Lets step back in time ( im in the mood )

A magical song that will bulldoze any unwanted situation or persons away...

From where exactly ?

And the mysteriously appearing chipping scenario very nearly destroyed my cars engine  ! Things have come to a head this week when I reached for a plastic beaker I had used just the day before. I intended to place the beaker over an intake pipe when working on my car to prevent foreign objects falling into and destroying the turbo. You know, just to be safe. It was at this point I noticed a large chipping as big as my  finger nail was in the beaker. How it got in there during the last 24 hours I don't know. I do however know that if not spotted it would have dropped neatly into my engine and most likely destroyed it, and written off my car. It just felt so deliberate, the whole sorry incident. Maybe im looking to much into this, but after other incidents this seems to be part of a reoccurring picture.

  This is not a one off occurrence. A similar sized chipping appeared in my newly washed  pocket recently. I cannot explain this at all. In the past I have been plagued with very tiny chippings falling in the house out of thin air and in my garden shed, or out of the tree that over hangs it. I tend to collect these just to reassure myself they are real..lol

  Again this week things took a more serious turn when I cleaned out my cars brakes and found a lump chipped from the brake caliper pistons, including the starting of a crack which would have led to brake failure. A mechanic  thought a small stone or chipping had become jammed in there but that is almost impossible due to the piston being hidden. Upon refitting the car wheel after the repair a large chipping was balance in the alloy wheel rim defying gravity as it would have dropped out as the wheel was upside down when I picked it up. How did it get in there in those few seconds ? Why did it not drop out ? Its just getting way beyond a coincidence now.

  These troublesome chippings are getting much larger suddenly and more threatening. I would welcome back the old pitter patter of the sound of the falling ones anyday.  Equally worrying is self locker nuts and bolts unwinding themselves around here, but that's another story....

Hurry, Autumns coming !

 

This one always makes me laugh... and i watch it each year with my daughter. So much truth here, especially in the UK. However if i miss that window of opportunity to do a job it gets ever harder to do it as the tale end of the year gets nearer. This isnt soley down to the rain and dark either, but seems to amount to more like a running out of energy and a steady entropy that prevents progress being made. A kind of double whammy as such. By December  i find that to  try and repair anything becomes impossible and should be left until the energies of January enable me to progress again. A dead zone then. Worst thing is though that i get a growing impulse to tackle more jobs as the darkness grows ( this peaks at Christmas ) Its a stupid ever decreasing circle and a destructive habit im trying to break. 

P. S   Strange but true fact : My grandparents used to receive visits from the Mr Men creator Roger Hargreaves when i was a child. I only just remembered this recently. I think this is why i have such a soft spot for these characters ! That and i know people who remind me of them..lol

This has been a while coming...

 Everything ive written on here has been leading up to this moment. These past happenings have been symptoms of a coming truth, and that truth when spoken or written just sounds like madness. And here is the problem with the future of this blog. The things i have to report are going to sound unreal or made up unless you already know the truth , in which  case you will find these new awareness's seem passe.

I wrote in my last post about how my body was moved when i surrendered to an unseen static force. As of this weekend this force has been moving my arm in an out stretched manor  ( no pun intended ) and pointing toward a large manor house next door. This has happened twice today. As you may already know this house is highly likely to be the inspiration behind the novel Wuthering Heights. As an experiment and to test for triggers i let my mind focus on key names in the novel. Of several there was only one that produced a force to move my arm and that was the name Earnshaw. Even more strangely the person who owns the house told me she was currently using a solicitor with the same surname ! 

So it appears i am channeling a force that responds to the name Earnshaw and that the house next door should be high on my list of attentions right now. Is this entity a product of the novel ? Is this someone from the past on whom the novels character was based ? Am i deluding myself into these movements ? They feel very static based and happen in slow jerky movements. Once my arm has pointed it returns slowly to my side and them ceases to feel anything odd. I would like to say im stood upright when this happens ( so much more dramatic ) but i am lying in bed in a relaxed state. Should i even be writing about this ?

Why ?

 Why would blogger stats do away with telling  me which country my viewing stats are coming from ? Why cant i see by the minute the correct time each view took place. This is a major part of the pleasure of writing online. Maybe its just me but the stats service has been dumbed  and decimated in a very modern way. There again isnt everything like that nowadays ? A watered down version.

How can i title this ? ( not rock n roll )

 I better write this up before i convince myself that it never happened. Do you ever find yourself back tracking on your view of a weird event a few days after it happened ? Maybe especially if it lets you off the hook from accepting that there maybe some highly supernatural entities in your life then you might well.

It all started when ? Im not sure but less than 12 months ago i noticed an involutnery twitch in my fingers or sometimes my thumb. Nothing to be alarmed at, only when a visiting relative experienced the same  symptoms a few weeks later in my house i began to wonder whether there was more to these involuntery movements than meets the eye. After a few weeks i noticed the twitch had spread to my arms and legs at night as a lay in bed. Again not really alarming, more annoying. 

The next stage saw what i can only describe as my arms and legs being manipulated to move by a static type tingling which crept over my body. This was alarming, and only by thinking about keeping my body still could i  totally stop it. As soon as my mind wandered onto any other thought than keeping still the gradual tugging would start up again.

This has continued over the Summer. After telling a friend about it in a late night message on fb he suggested i stopped " resisting " and let it take its course. So last week i gave it a try. The static this time was much stronger and  i gradually felt my whole body being moved as a lay. Letting an unknown force do this to you makes you feel very vunerable, but also very trusting. It reached the point where i was rolled right out of bed and on to the floor ! At this point i had to laugh as it was all a bit ridiculas. Maybe a hint of relief there as well no doubt ?

During this i would have expected to thud to the floor but something took the strain on my duvet and lowered me gently to the floor. I was on my own at the time too. That act would require some force but the whole happening was a gentle event.

So thats that then. No doubt some will say i was dreaming, but this has been building up all year. What does it mean ? My friend says it is the old me being pushed out of the way ! Could be. Whether my body has conjured up this distortion of movement i cannot say. I hope not as that i find that less agreeable that an out side entity manipulating me ! So the cycle is now complete im hoping. Will it happen again ? We shall see...

For the most part its water that re-acts strangely around me, and there are many examples of this under this blogs label - water. However there have been two recent bizzare incidents concerning electric bulbs. The most recent was last night as i cursed at a very poor quality led bulb i had purchased and immediatly and almost as if a reply, or reaction, it flickered several times. Yes, this amused me and also reminded me of a more unlikely happening last Winter when i remarked to a friend how a movement triggered flood light had stopped working 6 months ago. No sooner had i spoke the words then on it popped and flashed 4 times before switching off.
  Coincidence ?  Could be ! But im guessing that given my effect on water and over moving objects that ive recently touched that i am causing this or something very close to me is . No i cant control this or produce it on command. Am i haunting myself ? It has been suggested...

Works a treat ?

There was a time i found the lyrics of the original song a little too close to home, but today its all i expect, the death of the old...

Slight of hand ?

A quick simple post to force myself to accept that some items are moving by themselves, usually around 60 seconds after i last touched them oddly. Why is this happening ? Am i causing this by some kind of  energy reaching out from me ? Or is something else responsible and trying to get my attention ?

Creepy ginger Jesus ?

Today on holiday i visited what is thought to be the first Church built in Scotland by Saint Columba. On an upstairs balcony is a rather " interesting " painting of Jesus. A creepy ginger and wearing a Jewish type cap Jesus ?! Only today after several years of visiting this church have i noticed something else unsettling. Mainly that Jesus is on the outside the cave or tomb, and we the viewer appear to be on the inside. Its not the best of photo's and doesnt capture the strange almost feminine appearance of his eyes. Why this painting hasnt been thrown out i dont know, but its been  stashed up there for years !

The Virus Knot

If i wear a mask i am seen as good
If i dont wear a mask i am seen as bad
If i dont wear a mask im seen as having the virus

If i do wear a mask im seen as having the virus

If i dont have the virus im seen as good
If i have the virus but dont wear a mask i am seen as bad
If i have the virus but wear a mask i am seen as good

If others think i have the virus im seen as bad
If others think i dont have the virus, but i do, im seen as good

If i think i may have the virus but choose not to wear a mask im seen as bad
If i think i may have the virus and choose to wear a mask im seen as good.
If i think i do not have the virus, and choose not to wear a mask, i am seen as BAD.




In the spirit of R D Laing's KNOTS

Another weird photo. Does the camera lie ?

Another distorted photo. This time of childs hand. Shared with me this week...

How strong ? !

So in a period of 24 hours a new pipes stop tap has been turned off  twice by an unknown force. It begs the question how much strength or torque can an unseen force muster up ? Ive previously come across two bolts with self locking nuts that had unwound themselves. That requires some real force, a lot more than moving say house hold objects. 

Even the wind and waves obeyed him ?

I have a small talent for completing outside jobs just in time before the heavens open. I can complete a task in a small window of fine weather. Its quite uncanny ! Many a true word spoken in jest...

Ooooops !

Have you ever done something trivial in a flippant mood that you thought at the time might trigger something magical ? Last time i did that a large portion of tree fell across a road blocking it...so i should have known better than to do something non sense related off the cuff again knowing that sometimes its these silly thoughts or actions done with intent that turn out to be the most potent. I think my mood is the driver as i remember the mystic Dion Fortune writing about how she accidentally created a thought form in a sulky brooding mood. Yes, that seems to sum up this mini saga very well.
  It seems to be others that are affected by the results of these actions. The aim was to attract the past, but all i did was attract the sudden attention of another from a friends past and in such a random manner that it was not natural. I have no interest in this person at all and it feels like a case of crossed wires.
  Another fall out was a strange sound of birds wings in my room that night and a relation who felt a drop of water fall on her though no leak in her house could be found. To boot my water supply had a major blockage next day that ive never seen the like of before. 
   These events seem mirrored in others, the results have back fired on others. If i didnt understand what i was doing at the time then should i be surprised ? All i know is that once again im amazed at whats happened or rather how random the results have been.

Progression of a dream....

For years ive dreamed of struggling to lock my house door to keep something outside. Whatever it is pushes on the door and i only just fumble the key enough to close the door normaly. Well last night in the dream i failed and the door was pushed a jar to reveal the thing that has been trying to get inside for years. 
  I see an old wolf stood calmly outside. Its not threatening or scary. It looks at me calmly. At this point someone gently takes hold of my arm ,and as i scream i awake...

Disturbing

Oh, dear. Whats happened here ? There is a reason im not big on photography and this is because i rarely capture my true essence. In fact i usually capture something quite distorted and unsettling, and the above is no different.

All appears normal until you zoom in on our faces. There might be a technical reason for this, but what is uncanny is how much my face resembles my Dads. Its as though his head is on my shoulders and we bare no likeness whatsoever. That alone arouses my suspicion this is highly un-natural.

The sense of static tingling on my hands was intense on the approach to this supposedly Druid stone circle and i cannot deny my depression of the last few months has lifted. There is a panoramic mountain view here for 360 degrees surrounding the circle. Thats very unique and obviously a factor in the circles location. Really i want to say im feeling much more relaxed now, thank god. I guess a weeks staycation has done me good as well.

Ho,he,ho,he,he,he !

When you have a deep unread book performing a physical mundane task...

Its dawning on me with an increasing awareness that the effects of the previous 2 months lock down and the easing phase to be revealed ,and its putting in to practise has taken a substantial cost on our personal lives that is yet to be fully realised. It maybe as subtle as not being able to fully relax on a day out as ive found this week. It maybe a lack of patience with family you have spent too much time with under lock down. What ever it is an explosion of pent up force is likely to break free soon as the " new normal " ( how i loath that phrase )  unfurls.

One thing i have noticed is an " asian invasion "  both at tourist attractions such as lakes and in our nearest city. The south is coming north... The future has undoubtably changed course.

Maybe its exhaustion 

Maybe its my time of life

Either way it takes more energy to sit down than lying down.

Unless i lie down i am not truly resting

Anger

My mood is awful at the moment. Im exhausted and have been denied my week away from this valley due to the lockdown. Days away will have to suffice, but im still in that about to explode mood. First explosion occurred when low water pressure ( the usual problem ) denied me a bath. As soon as my rant finished the water coming from the tap turned to filth ( private supply ) At first i thought coincidence...  

The second explosive rant occurred when i saw a neighbour having a builder dredge and level his pond. Again and immediatly ( where has blogger spell checker gone, in such a mood i dont care just like when i started blogging, eh ? )  a huge blast of wind came spilling 2 large buckets of animal feed. Ive never ever seen a full one blow over in my life so far. 

 Thirdly and finally today a cup flew off the kitchen work surface when again i exploded about a situation coming to a head. 

Seems my anger is manifesting physically. Bit scary ?  Well i once brought a reasonable sized tree down across a road when my thoughts day dreamed. Beware the power of the mind. Its a loaded gun. Or loose cannon ? Whatever, choose your own analogy...

This is un-natural

A quick thought...90 % of traffic has gone from our roads around here, so why am i still having " close shaves " with cars and random debris suspiciously left on the road. Recently ive come across an abandoned wooden packing crate left on a blind hill end, a miniture pony in the middle of the road and last week a block of wood with a 6 " nail sticking out of it !!!  I also meet people at the worst narrow places on single track roads, and all of this despite 90% of traffic evapourated due to Covid. Seems as though risk has remained the same on the roads or has increased many fold provide this appearance relative to today's traffic levels. Maybe fate steps up a gear when life cuts you a break ? Either way this is un- natural, for me.

Maybe this is just relative to me. I would love to know...

Water trouble ?

 

There is more than an element of truth to these lyrics living where i do. The death of a child by drowning in a tarn thats the source of our water supply many years ago, and the constant water trouble today leads me to draw no other conclusion. 

Ive worked every day since last August, and its looking highly likely my week away in May will not happen this year. What i will become of me. Im usually on the edge by then anyway. God help me...

A relations orb photo

An act of divination ???

Random objects such as a bottle top or bar of soap when casually thrown down are wanting to land balanced end up unprobably. Its happening each day now and my subcontious movements are causing this weird happening. But why, why, why ?

No, Yes, Perhaps ?

Sometimes i get it wrong. Sometimes I'm way to quick to put a " mysterious " event down to the supernatural or unknown forces. This has been brought really home to me recently while posting last night on Face book about a rattling noise at my window. There was a time in the past when a room and hallway was filled one night in an unexplained way by wooden floor boards rattling and knocking in the walls and attic. And it was that event that haunts me today, and causes me to jump to the same conclusion  every time I i hear a similar noise or knock in this house. It turns out a rat was more than likely responsible as i heard one chewing somewhere in the same room today. I have a neighbour who will view that news  as ever more worrying, but that's quite another story...lol
  This idea of an original experience tainting and causing us to mis read future events was also echoed oddly in a program i watched about UFO's this afternoon. The shows team visited a man who showed them quickly two " UFO's " which were immediately debunked as house lights through the trees. How could a man be so gullible ? Eventually hypnosis revealed he believed he had been abducted as a teenager, or so he believed. So a nut case then ? Only when the team themselves saw lights did they suddenly have to back track and say he may have a point that something odd was going on.
   It is so easy to see " spooks " at every turn once your mindset has been, er... set. I remember watching something on line about Boleskine house on the shore of Scotlands Loch Ness. This house was famously bought for magick experiments by Aliester Crowley. The present owner was not a believer in the occult but said the " house does a rather good job of rising to peoples expectations " Its  not so simple as true or false.
  This draws me to the saying  "grinding the wheat from the chaff "  We cant write off a debunked example from a person ,or let it corrupt every example they give. We must grind the corn for our selves !

What man is this ? !

Tonight i was visited by a robot...an impostor ?  Click bait as they say... Well not quite, but by a friend who has become a cartoon character who is bereft of any sincere emotion. Any questions i ask him in conversation are answered with catch phrases. His view points are glib, and lacking any sense on intensity, even when the subject of safety arises...even and especially when it concerns children. 
   A classic example of this out look was the booking of a holiday to a North African country against current government advice. A country where tourists were only a couple of years ago massacred in a targeted attack on a beach. You probably remember the attack. So yes, why not book a family holiday and joke about the attacks risk of happening again ? I was gob smacked, much to his amusement. He even thought he was clever risking all on a dangerous holiday. After all " it could happen anywhere "
   The man has also become a risk taker, financially as well. Its as though he is trying to tempt disaster. Every move he makes is foolish ,and that's strange for a once " safe pair of hands "
  Worst of all is the flaccid, dismissive tone that's rained down on any suggestion he may want to think again about an action he's taking. Underneath that original man is smothered, somewhere. All I'm see tonight is a fool. A silly mood that's stuck and become a ego in its own right. A daft facial expression that should have been temporary, but has stuck.