A full circle reveals the truth ?

Im in a very odd mood at the moment . Im weary of the world again . Once again I sit in my house after work and I can not settle to anything . This goes on month after month . The days working are fine , but its the nights that are the problem . I went through something like this a few years ago and I tried to start drinking , well I tried a little Vodka with my Ribena ! It didn't do me much good apart from give me a nice deep sleep and a strange smell in my nostrils oddly. My appetite increased greatly to resulting in routine fried breakfasts , and you can guess the result of that ! Eventually I was so disgusted with my self and the fact I had stooped to the level of everyone else that I disapproved of who acted in that manner , and I also thought I had become as I read once a mimic . 
   There is a time in life when you go off the rails . When you are younger you soon pass through this stage and get back on course . When youre older you loose the bouncing back ability and time , so much time has compounded all you feel about the world . I feel as though Ive been alive so damned long . I feel ive been so conscious all through it , though In reality its been less than 5 years in this state of revelation .
   Without sounding insulting to anyone reading this Im basically living in the ordinary world like most of you now . How ive fallen . I was once living somewhere else and I could see a different view as I looked on at everyone else living in that dull limited world . Yes I could not understand how you all lived so mundanely and with no magic in your lives . Today Im on the other side of this pane of glass with the rest of you and there is no way back for me . Listening to that album from which I posted previously brings back that otherworldly feeling intensely . That album catches how it felt to be living in another existence . Yes eventually I fell from grace and back to this world . So here I sit trying to find some solice in the nice , quite life I have at the moment . Of course I couldn't take much more of the other existence , but that's soon forgotten .
  My god , is this it ? My life is fine if a little hard and un-relenting . Its what happens after my work is done that's the problem . Someone told me a while ago that I was waiting for the next big thing , and he was right , I am .