Boscastle Enigma

                                          Just who was she ? Or what was she ?

Something is very odd here . None of the figures on here look real .The men behind look like their legs are partly below ground level . The whole photo has a clumsy look to it . These people were not there when I took the photo . Im still disturbed by this picture and I know some will think its a clumsy fake ... but due to my growing number of page views on this blog I expect someone must know something .

Boscastle Harbour

On the right of this photo you can see a " blow hole " where the sea exists a sea cave . This process has cut a tunnel through the peninsula over many years . The entrance the water comes in at is large , the hole it exists is small , hence the water is at high pressure and vapourised . It also produces a rhythmic boom that sounds like thunder . I will never forget that sound , ever . To sit by the cave listening to noise caused by the rhythm of the sea while watching the sun go down is one of the most truly life affirming experiences ive had . If I had more time to explore this area who knows what else I would discover . Each time I visit I see a little more of whats hidden . This place is a wonderland that will test your sanity . I will be surprised if Glastonbury can top this , very surprised indeed . A part of me will always be in Boscastle . This place shouldn't be possible , but it is !!!

Today a six inch approx. gentle flickering flame arose from my candle briefly . The last time that happened...

Maybe the idea of a closed season on these things is a misconception . Who knows ?  Some things coming for sure ... ( yes , I know ive just contradicted a previous negative post , but that's sometimes a catalyst oddly , though that's not my speciality or area  but apparently contradiction manifests things so some believe ...)

Gigi D'Agostino - Walking ( Suono Libero )

The Changing of the Guard Keeps our Feet on the Ground

Of course if mystical things stop over Spring , mental changes do not . In fact they reach a uncomfortable peak . Very uncomfortable . Ideas , its all about ideas of intensity . The bright sunshine leaves us no where to hide and magnifies our dreams and desires . That's bleak . Aliestair Crowley wrote in Moon Child that the forces of Spring came slowly like the first troops over running the defensive positions of Winter and that as Summer came the defences were over run with a great army in a huge surge as such . I intimately understand the feeling he is describing . I cant remember exactly , but I think he mentioned uneasiness in there to , or implied it . Again this is an intimate observation about that which torments me . Summer of course is great once things have rejuvenated . Just I find the change over hard . I always have sadly .

A Glastonbury Experience - Official film trailer

    



Enjoyed watching this ...

Dont fight it...

Now is my worst time of year . Its cold , its bleak , its a kind of muddy dirty green hell that promises nicer weather but constantly fails to deliver . Spring is a time for suckers really who fall for the glamour of Summer but are sold a faded Winter instead . This is an uneasy time too . A hint of the growing energy that Summer brings is taunted in front of us . Anything the Winter or Autumn brought will fade away with the empty cold light nights . Yes I hate Spring . Its a very tricky and volatile road to Summer . Exactly how much this feeling affects me will become clear soon . A growing unease will increase until June arrives and so will my work load , which may tie in with why I dislike Spring so much . As I get more ready for a holiday the weather gets warmer , I get more tired and busy as the season unfolds . Unless you work on the land you will not really understand this gradual build up to Summer .
   Also all things mystical die now and evaporate . A closed season for such malarkey . Synchronicitys will stop . Things dry up . Contacts wander off and people start planning very earthly conquests and material missions . Dion Fortune said the Vernal Equinox was the resting time for those who were into the things this blog trumpets , and I see no evidence to challenge her assumption . I rest my case and look forward to Glastonbury , that's another word much like OCCULT that has too many false connotations connected to it to really use in its true sense .
   Maybe its a last sign but I see on the BBC News 24 Channel the Olympic Games opening ceremony with that English landscape featuring Glastonbury Tor is being shown as one of the pictures in the lead up to the news headlines . Well of course it is . The Olympics opening ceremony , the Glastonbury floods , the weather forecast background photograph , Glastonbury Tor is as I predicted last Summer on the rise in this nations conscientiousness as apparently we are entering an age of Aquarius . I know little of that other than its about huge leaps of change .

Its 4.30am . There is a gusty wind blowing high up in some pine tree's next door creating an atmosphere of Winter again .

I found this on ebay and its coming home...

I found this watery creation on e-bay . I was originally looking for a replacement for a beautiful blue glass dolphin I found last year at a garden sale in Boscastle . That got broken . I was gutted , but to replace it with something identical will just annoy me as it will not or ever be the original . So Ive moved on and purchased this strange creation . Why ? Well it reminds me of something I saw at Tintagel one night while on holiday there . Yes ,what I saw was in water , but where it was you would not believe !

WATCH OUT FOR THE TREASURE AMONGST THE TRASH !!!

I think ive had some things brought to my attention today that were always coming to my attention if not by the mode they came today , then by a previous or alternative future mode if today had not happened . My trouble is comparing the past possible mode ( now defunct  ) to the current functioning mode and feeling anxiety at the similarity's in both styles of their delivery . Of course now I see the styles of the past and present delivery are always going to be the same because its the same subject matter they were or are delivering to me . Still its a distraction to see so many similarity's , but that's just me ... I guess its just all the possible combinations playing themselves out . A ripple in the pond from yet another stone may look the same , though the new stone differs from the previous one thrown in . Im sure Im not the only one to notice this .

Altered Dimensions

Why does this blog keep changing dimensions in width ? At first I thought it was my new laptop but it isnt . Today the post section is narrow and my profile picture has changed to square . This seems to happen at random how ever many times I re-adjust my " widths " . Has anyone else noticed any dimension changes recently ?

Saturday night saw me visit a  relation  . As I entered his house I got quite a shock . There sat his daughter with a piece of chain mail draped over her head looking like a knight ! She looked very medieval indeed . I nearly dropped . Her teenage brother has started making his own chain mail ( as you do ) for fun over the past few months . This is for some reason I cant yet comprehend  . I commented that I wasnt sure whether I was dreaming or not , and decided I needed to sit down , but next on comes the National Lottery Draw on the T.V and yes the random ball drawing machines are called  Excalibur and  Arthur . Er , right . By now Im feeling a bit rattled  and disorientated . Something is speeding up . So today I look up the names of these ball selecting machines and I'm quite shocked at what ive found...


http://www.lottery.co.uk/articles/the-uk-lotto-machines.asp

    Ive just found this link about the machines and er , I think It speaks for its self . Machines named after gemstones ?!  I wasn't aware of the extent to which these contraptions are named after characters from the Arthurian legend until  now , as I dont watch Saturday night T.V type stuff . Does millions of people passionately following these machines " random " draws every week produce any occult happenings ? After all these names are Archetypes .
  Remember MILLIONS of people are projecting their hopes and dreams onto these Arthurian named machines , with what I would expect to be close to religious zeal ( you think im joking ?) . The machines themselves are rather like Merlin in the original legend , channelling the hopes and dreams of our population and taking advantage of them too . Is this deliberately done ? Are there unintentional consequences ? If so this could be huge .
  Some may think this post silly , but look at the facts and ignore the kitch stupid lottery which is the vehicle for this legend . All the ingredients are there . This has really got me thinking ...

And in with the new !

Watching the weather forecast this morning saw a photo of Glastonbury Tor presented as a viewers contribution to a weather related link . This is happening more and more often since the new year . Its strange how no one I know has even heard of it . Also hills with towers on top are also appearing in magazines or even our local art shop . Of course this will increase with time and Im just wondering what Im going to find at Glastonbury as all the Lye Lines converge there , even from Tintagel . 

Synchronicitys ; Out with the old and in with the new ?

Well not quite yet it seems . A very long running synchronicity has returned as it always does in very early spring . This has gone on for years . It begs the question ; When does a synchronicity end ? And what does that say about yourself ? Here is today's Wuthering Heights stonker...

Our local book group for Dent are currently reading Wuthering Heights

The political cartoon in The Telegraph today is of  " Withering Heights "

In the same edition of the paper is an article about veteran singer Kate Bush... hence her classic hit Wuthering Heights is mentioned in passing .  

http://youtu.be/BW3gKKiTvjs      When in Rome... Oh , Yes I also live next door to one of the sites rumoured to have been behind the inspiration for the book . Yeah , this is my world...again . Why is this synchronicity so season orientated ? It starts after the new year but will be gone by June...

The penny dropped tonight as I realised Merlin's Cave brings you what you wish for . Two times this has happened . Only after viewing a video post of  archetypal  Knights and  Damsels did  this epiphany hit me . How have I missed this ?  On exiting the cave early last summer the church bells began chiming and a tornado sprung up out at sea and there was the most charged atmosphere in the air . I wonder how long this has been going on . Did people realise this through out history ? Are the Lye Lines involved ? Maybe its the magnetic rocks . Maybe its those feminine forces that are so , so strong around there ?

Megadeth- Peace Sells

 


If there's a new way I'll be the first in line , but it better work this time...

The tide entering Merlins Cave in Cornwall

How I see life today ( in a nutshell )

So what is the meaning of life Im asking myself as the rain pisses down for yet another day outside my cosy , warm kitchen ? Well its all about the flesh and the constant barrage of destruction waged against it . This takes the form of disease , fatal accidents , cruel coincidences and the mindless recklessness of others actions that lead to damage to your own person through no fault of youre own . Just to exist qualifies your entry in to the game of chance and the game you can not accept ever losing . To resist and stagger along through this , seeming to be oblivious to all this carnage around you or just hoping to god you may be yourself be spared this picture is the only way to make it from day to day . Oh , and maybe reproducing will give you the chance to temporally stick two fingers up at the cosmos of destruction and entropy .

And what of the mind , or Higher Self ? Well you must always see some meaning behind everything and then expand this to the unseen in life . Watch out for those acting strangely familular though you have never seen them before in your life . Picture what you want and align this with places or legends you love . Drift along in a haze and don't analyize to much and things will change... Beware as nothing lasts forever though , and all spiritual things go BANG eventually . Enoy it while the goings good as you will soon find your self half way through life and not having to much longer to try and get some sort of satisfaction . Beware the " tipping point " .  And just how you get back again to point you started from ( everyday life ) is a very steep learning curve , or more accurately a descent ! Now start re-reading back at the top to start the whole cycle again... 

Yes Im tired today ...

Looking back...

While re-reading a book by Gareth Knight last night I came across a paragraph I underlined nearly two years ago .

"  The union of the Higher and Lower Selves frequently manifests to lower consciousness in terms of a contra-sexual image . Thus to a male personality it produces the concept of the ' ideal ' woman . Conversely , the feminine personality will project an image of the ' ideal ' man... "

Since then of course Ive had  the ideas of J.C Jung brought to my attention , which has added a sense of justification and rationality to the above idea . It is on this note that I can not express how helpful and even comforting it was to see a ' main stream ' explanation for the above picture . Of course I understand the mystical side of the equation and all it brings , but that's so subjective and in the long term cant really bring closure . Reading Jung's ideas on projection has lifted some weight off my shoulders in a mental sense and has helped me reach some kind of closure on a turbulent period in my life . Thank-you .

Accumulation

Accumulation is one of the most powerful processes known to man . Accumulation allows good situations to finally manifest . Accumulation can see the merest problem become unmangable over time . Further more accumulation happens slowly until one day...BANG !!! Its our friend and our foe . Beware .

I took a wrong turn...

I have made a mistake . Ive not had a good time recently . This happens when I read Crowley. Interesting and seductive as his writings are this usually coincides with turmoil in my life and I am not yet ready to pay that price . No . Hence the book is no more . This was not the road to Glastonbury . Glastonbury is the road ahead . Glastonbury is to large to be corrupted . This is where my future attention is focused . Im not beyond being distracted or led  astray . The wisdom is realising this . Oh well....

I used to and shall post like this again

Tonight was nice . As I drove home in the twilight trees were silhouetted against a sky . The colours of the clouds were very pastel like and subtle , some clouds were an ink blue colour and a break in them revealed a very pale orange glow as the sun set somewhere obscured in the haze .
  A gusty storm like wind was rushing through the tree tops in true March style , yet also it was blowing through the bushes at ground level with what I can only describe as a thick strong constant consistency . Yes the consistency of the blowing was thick , erm this is hard to describe . Lets say it seemed thicker than air  .  The wind had more not strength at ground level but a substance about it somehow . Somewhere in the village I heard children shouting amongst this . Not a life changing moment but something I feel I should write about this moment .

I realise now this felt like " Irreality " at the time . That's what felt so familular about it...!

 

Gareth Knight / The Planes of Consciousness

" It follows that we should give some thought to how we treat the ' lesser forms ' of life upon our planet . They are in fact forms of expression of a much higher form of life - and if we can justify extinction of species , or wholesale laboratory experimentation upon lesser forms of life , then by the same moral categories we should be willing to submit ourselves to like exploitation and experimentation by beings ' superior ' to ourselves ..."   

Are we just play things for higher beings ? Are things revealed briefly to us , only to have our reactions studied ? After many baffling and unexplainable events that were beyond reasoning and beyond any use fullness to me ( other than focusing my attention )  I am highly tempted to go with this theory . Anyway this is my latest thinking . It also seems that a lack of Christianity in its general sense is no obstacle to experiencing these moments .

A full circle reveals the truth ?

Im in a very odd mood at the moment . Im weary of the world again . Once again I sit in my house after work and I can not settle to anything . This goes on month after month . The days working are fine , but its the nights that are the problem . I went through something like this a few years ago and I tried to start drinking , well I tried a little Vodka with my Ribena ! It didn't do me much good apart from give me a nice deep sleep and a strange smell in my nostrils oddly. My appetite increased greatly to resulting in routine fried breakfasts , and you can guess the result of that ! Eventually I was so disgusted with my self and the fact I had stooped to the level of everyone else that I disapproved of who acted in that manner , and I also thought I had become as I read once a mimic . 
   There is a time in life when you go off the rails . When you are younger you soon pass through this stage and get back on course . When youre older you loose the bouncing back ability and time , so much time has compounded all you feel about the world . I feel as though Ive been alive so damned long . I feel ive been so conscious all through it , though In reality its been less than 5 years in this state of revelation .
   Without sounding insulting to anyone reading this Im basically living in the ordinary world like most of you now . How ive fallen . I was once living somewhere else and I could see a different view as I looked on at everyone else living in that dull limited world . Yes I could not understand how you all lived so mundanely and with no magic in your lives . Today Im on the other side of this pane of glass with the rest of you and there is no way back for me . Listening to that album from which I posted previously brings back that otherworldly feeling intensely . That album catches how it felt to be living in another existence . Yes eventually I fell from grace and back to this world . So here I sit trying to find some solice in the nice , quite life I have at the moment . Of course I couldn't take much more of the other existence , but that's soon forgotten .
  My god , is this it ? My life is fine if a little hard and un-relenting . Its what happens after my work is done that's the problem . Someone told me a while ago that I was waiting for the next big thing , and he was right , I am .
 

Heres hoping this is a one off...

I'll be honest , ive had a horrible day . Something happened to me and the effects I do not yet fully understand or grasp , but even I can tell that something is very wrong . Today someone asked me a question regarding something work connected and I answered incorrectly and they realised my mistake and were quite mocking .
   Fair enough it was a silly mistake I made in hindsight and I should have checked my facts before opening my mouth . About a minute later I began to feel very disturbed . Anxiety came over me like a wave , I started to sweat , I started to feel a terrible guilt . I felt sick and I thought I was going to be . I felt dizzy , so much so I thought I was going to pass out . This persons tone touched a very raw nerve in me . They destroyed me and tonight Im still not myself . Ive felt extreme bouts of anxiety before that I think have been panic attacks . They have only happened I think maybe just once before and this was before I started the last great tribulation in my life . After such an attack I focused on a plan of action which also coincided with a message I received by chance from someone I needed in my life which perked me up . That's all fine and dandy and in the past , but what does today's event mean ? It was a trivial subject I made a mistake with , but why such an extreme reaction ? Im a little scared tonight as I feel it has  a great meaning and presence behind it and Ive seen others crack and mentally disintegrate ( ive experienced it in several people im very close to )  so I know there is sometimes nothing to be done but cascade down that terrible path . Im OK now, but something happened today , it was scary , it was bad . Maybe Im worn out . Maybe its some form of post traumatic disorder or repressed emotion from the past . Im not just winging here , today was something of a new intensity and I don't know when it will happen again , maybe when someone puts me on the spot again ?

Gigi D'Agostino - Triangle ( Benessere 1 )

    


On a night like this , not so long ago...

Sigh...

I shall never be at ease in this world . Its never felt true , and its never felt right . Ive stumbled along so far . Im too busy watching the corners coming up to answer questions from everyday people regarding my speed at any particular point in this journey . Dont ask me statistical questions that you know by heart and repetition as Im too busy watching whats coming up ahead . Im set up for the subjective , not this world . I cannot thrive in both .

Of mythology , academics and the uncanny ability to destroy passion

As the moonlight is shining through my kitchen windows due to the moons position as it does every March , Im considering as I make a second attempt attempt to read  The Secret Tradition of the Arthurian legend by Gareth Knight ( no pun intended and I doubt given his mind  set he saw it either ) just how can academics ring all the passion , fun and magic out of a subject that's as subjective as mythology . I like a good comma , but he adds so many to each sentence he says so many words that amount to so little . For goodness sake if your going to write a book about such way out beliefs , at least make it entertaining and not as I suspect an exercise in sounding clever to your peers and academic circle . A genuine mystical experience is better than a million words or a dry book of research after all . As many books written about esoteric subjects its extremely interesting , but why are they always so long winded and overly dry ? This is why I enjoy such subjects in the form of a novel . Am I a light weight ? No , I just find passion is critical in a writer to keep my full attention . Academic prowess does not move me , flair and passion do . Combine the two however and you have my deepest adoration . Its a rare act .

I really hope I don't pick up his writing style . Its happened already judging by my opening line...

How are we to ever find satisfaction in life ? Even if we acquire what we need , it will no longer be relevant or what we need 10 years from now . Hence I suppose we must find some kind of abstract happiness as surely this is the only solution as we pass through the many varied chapters of our life . Whatever we pull off today ; success or failure , I doubt if it will be relevant for long as a measuring tool . 

Can an area attract disaster ? ( re-edited )

Suddenly ( yes , I know I over use that word ! ) the triple number plates are back after a long absence . The dominant number is the worrying 999  as in 999 RUN or 999 DMB

   Today I saw a car parked on a lane with the registration plate 666 DRY and Im wishing now Id had my camera with me for proof  . Whats so odd about that I hear you ask  ? Well about a year ago a woman crashed through a wall  and sadly drowned in her car a short distance away in the nearby reservoir that this road also runs next too . Maybe that's just a coincidence and one of particular bad taste ,  but this got me thinking as I realised  this is also the same road on which the recent Quad bike fatality occurred (The tragidy that I mentioned in a previous post  )
    On this same road a few years ago a burning body was also found in this area dumped behind a wall . Our local paper was full of the story . Some gangster types were eventually caught for the crime . Thats unbelievable in such a quite location , but true none the less . Believe me it all goes on around here ! The reservoir is called Killington if anyone wants to google these stories to check if im genuine in my wild statements . You see the deeper I go looking into things the more I feel a need to offer some form of proof of the things  Im saying . Of course if you are local then all this will not be new to you , though I doubt many have linked these events together ... Can an area be prone to disaster or " evil " ?
   Finally there is another problem with this area and its causing a very real concern , very near this area cars are crashing  regular on a weekly basis and the road surface is new and no one can give an explanation why this is happening .  The road is the A684  ( near  Junction 37 of the M6 )  and there is an online petition calling for something to be done  about it , thats if anyone can figure out what  is actually causing the problem! This may be just be a technical problem with the asphalt though ,  and they are bad bends. Mind you my cousin crashed there last weekend as someone did a u -turn in front of him . That whole damned square mile is a disaster zone  . Over time you see events build up . This comes with living in one area all your life . I also have a friend who says such beauty spots can claim lives...There have been weird events in my Dale too and I shall write about those in the future . Yes I live in a rural idyll but Im aware that there a\re far to many dramatic events than is natural . I may concoct a map and plot the events on it to build up a picture . Prepare for a shock !

Beyond coincidence ?

Im often embarrassed writing this blog . Not because I shame at the seemingly tall storeys Ive told on here , but rather because they are often very timely and in synch with another's  posts or experiences . This often to the sceptical person looks as if Im copying ,  and I cringe at giving that impression to anyone at all reading this post . For that reason I sometimes decide to keep some instances to myself . But today or rather this afternoon something quite dramatic happened . At 4.30pm our kitchen clock just dropped off the wall and  smashed on the floor shattering glass everywhere . Ive no idea why this happened .
   This set me off thinking about other strange similar happenings Ive experienced . Before my daughter was born there was a large heavy mirror hung over the fire place and opposite I decided to hang a canvas sea picture of an stormy coastal bay .  When this picture was reflected in the mirror on the opposite wall , the image of the bay was reversed and it suddenly now looked like the entrance to Boscastle harbour , a little too much like it for me . Although this amused me ( and I now suspect it was the subconscious reason I bought the painting In the first place ) I was still a little rattled none the less . One day on returning home I found the strong wire holding the mirror had snapped . The mirror was on the ground but intact although it had bent my steel fish wall hanging which I had just brought home from Boscastle . I cant explain how that wire snapped , It was very strong , but I believe it had something to do with the reversed reflection of the painting . I felt that intensely . Said picture is now hung else where . The clock falling off the wall today just cast my mind back to that incident and I this afternoon again checked it was secure as It would be fatal to Evie if it fell on her .
   I now have hung another sea picture In its place and it fell down a while ago which is better than the mirror I guess ! Some visitor's were here when it happened and I saw the picture actually rise one corner itself as if unhooking itself before it fell off onto my surprised guests . Of course I said nothing of this odd movement to them , and only later did I really admit to myself that's what had happened .
 
You know Ive only just remembered as I write that three strange things also happened while I was away in Maryport for a weekend recently . Somehow they had slipped my mind until now.. .  I got up to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night and as I approached the bedroom door it swung open in advance just as if someone had opened it for me . I was so tired I was quite blasé about it as you often can be about such things at the time . When I got back into bed a large chest with double doors swung open forcing me to get up and close them , by now I was a little scared ( and I had a toddler wanting a 5.30am Pepper Pig DVD viewing at the time ! ) and the next few days were spent expecting to walk into a room and find someone there .
   More oddly though something happened as I walked past a shop that night after popping out to look for a DVD to watch ( there was no Internet or TV !!! )  I saw a packet of bread just fall off a shelf in a deserted shop . Now when I was a teenager I was plagued with items falling off shelves as I walked past them and this all came flooding back to me . This was a very unhappy period in my life and I believe that some things that I experienced back then were the first startings of what ive gone on to experience today . I spent a lot of time back then at Christian youth groups with an equally troubled relation and I guess both of us were of a similar mind set . Funnily I dreamt about those times last night which is odd .
   I have so many odd things happen to me that sometimes I don't dwell too much on them until like today I get a reminder .
   You see sometimes I feel cursed because the more of the truth I tell the more unbelievable I sound . This was ALWAYS going to be a problem with this blog unless you are of a special mind set . I am never far away from the unexplained although my busy lifestyle often helps me keep sane ! ? These things for me are second nature . They never leave me alone for long . It is indeed a strange night .

The Horror , the Horror...

Yesterday a tragedy occurred not to far away . A woman was killed riding a quad bike on the road while doing routine farm work . The driver of the vehicle that killed her was a woman who was in the same year as me at school . The woman who died was married with three teenage children . What a mess . Lives ruined , all caused by a moment of chaos . Ive seen many such things happen this way and realise that nothing can save us , nothing . We all take our chances . I can relate to this incident as I was involved in an accident in which someone could have been killed . Luckily the on coming car which struck the unlucky man wasn't going too fast . Chaos , all is chaos .
   There is a constant bloody onslaught that occurs on a daily basis against the human race . Some of its intentional , some accidental and its the accidental mode of destruction you or me are most likely to be caught out by . This cycle never stops and I hope it never stops too long in one place . You see I have a problem with people who say God is great , because if they say God has delivered them from a tribulation then someone somewhere else will I believe be paying the price . To think you can dodge this curse is extremely arrogant and mis-guided . As another blogger wrote how life owes you nothing and rewards nothing I will say its true , also I believe no matter how you live or don't live nothing will make a damned bit of difference concerning how your " luck " goes in this world . That's not to say we should all live as animals as having your own individual standards is rewarding within our selves but don't expect it to deliver you from that vehicle sliding down the road towards you on that fateful day or something worse ...
   Tragedy's frame work remains the same and is interchangeable with any of our lives . It is not respecter of morals or past history . We all take our chances and even if you are extra careful you cant discount the fact that others may be less so vigilant . Again its all chaos . I guess reproducing sticks two fingures up at this monstorous cycle and may seem like a guaranteed " get out of jail free " card but in reality you have just bought in even heavier into this gamble . In fact you are rolling the dice a second time and taking a bigger risk . Of course the rewards are bigger but as this sorry saga proves its a dangerous game even though the odds of of sorrow are longer .

Accidental Improvements

    "   I feel uneasy
        This kind of  freedoms hard to find
        No train of thought on a one track mind 
        Too much nothing to be left in so much doubt 
        Too much nothings something I can live without ... 

        I feel uneasy 
        What you dont know cant hurt you only lies behind your back 
        I feel infected
        Take another blast
        Got a Rosary affliction while my futures in suspense ... "
        

This is an excerpt from some song lyrics Ive had buzzing around in my head today .  I often find when checking out song lyrics on the net that Ive heard  them wrong in parts , and I have often sung the wrong words for what turns out to be some years ! The above is a good example as I wrote it down from memory . I  thought they were the correct song lyrics but thanks to google  I see I was wrong , but Ive stuck with my version because I think its an improvement ! . I wonder how much of what you think a song says is accurate in reality , and how many of your own words you've subconsciously added over the years ?  Too say which parts Ive added here is probably too revealing ! But if you have time on your hands.... lol
       

The Golden Blog: Aleister Crowley on Synchronicitys

The Golden Blog: Aleister Crowley on Synchronicitys:  People who live in cities are constantly in touch with reality .....but in the countryside where nothing ever happens the individual is thr...

Manitoba

Today a woman visited our farm . She started to tell me in a  random conversation  that since she moved to the U.K two years ago from Canada  , her garden ornament she had brought over with her had turned green because of all the rain . Cue a conversation about the weather ( very British )  I asked where in Canada she had lived and she said Manitoba . I asked her about the severe weather over there and she said that some times it came so much rain the ground water level rose and flooded basements which she also added people often lived in . Immediately after this conversation I went into our lambing building and found it flooded ! A pipe had come loose while I was talking to her . It was very odd the opening line she used to bring up the subject of where she was originally from ( garden ornaments ? ) This is not the first time this has happened....

I was reminded this week of something I saw In Tintagel while on holiday . This was brought to mind  by a fantastic piece of fantasy film / music  I came across online .Strangely while watching a film last night I had recorded also saw me looking at something that again very much reminded me again of what I saw in Tintagel . I can not bring myself to say what I saw on here , only that to do so would have people questioning my sanity , or wether Ive read to much Lovecraft ! O.K let me be honest here , Im not the only one to have seen odd thing as Ive recalled today . I can recount three people , all female and all who I know well who have told me at various times that they have seen something !

The first case is of a woman who told me she had started to see writing in her flooring , carpet strangely . This writing was readable but when I asked her what It said she replied she was too scared to read it . This was a very how can I say conventional , educated person . Of course a great crises occurred next day that she will never forget sadly .

The second case is similar . Another woman once started seeing faces in her flooring . Also carpet to oddly ? She was so freaked she cut them out with a pair of scissors ( much to the annoyance of her landlord ! )

The second case another woman ( seeing a pattern ? ) a while ago now admitted to seeing faces in the pattern of creases on her sofa . She was quite alarmed by this . Depression developed , quickly followed by a personal  life direction change and a new better life .

All these three people went running to their doctor , who of course diagnosed that all conquering diagnosis STRESS , which was killed off with medication . Strange they are all women . Are women more neurotic and open to different awareness's ? Off course stress maybe the genuine explanation for these occurrences , but from my own experience , maybe this stress was just the start of something to come ? That horrible but necessary chapter that jolts off a life changing serious of events and changing perceptions . We shall never know . Had I myself gone down the medicated route then I wouldn't be the person I am today and I don't think I would have my daughter either , but that's another story ! Sometimes a cataclysim can be the first uncomfortable chapter to a rounder you , breaking down the old painfully , then hopefully rebuilding a broader person . The only problem is you need the strength to pull through . This could take years !
   What may I ask is the status of someone who is in limbo caused by a medicated cure ? They cant find any future progress . They are stuck in a mind numbing state with who knows what soul changing events on hold , maybe even spiritual ones on hold . This idea has even been suggested as the case by some organisations in mental health as I posted a few months ago . Source ? As ever Radio 4

" Science is only a more sophisticated form of superstition "    Sea Wolves   Michael Moorcock