Who can frame thy fearful symmetery ?

Its coming up too two years since my last big family holiday . Family as in family and partners and offspring .That week was one of the worst ive experienced in my life . Mentally it was hell . I started to loose hair when I washed , grey hairs started appearing and I started to get thoughts of self harming . I have never felt like that before or at all since .
 The problem was basically too much alcohol ( I don't drink myself )  , hidden family secrets and baggage was outed daily . We all have our baggage and people had theirs  outed daily in a macabre comedy style truth and reconciliation style public  confessional  !  Everyone was joking about it but crying inside . Day four saw me run for my life back home as I saw my turn quickly approaching .
 By the time we reach adulthood most of us carry stuff we can never reveal . This holiday was a perfect storm . It felt pre-ordained . It felt orchestrated . An ambush no less . Looking back I suspect an occult attack no less or some evil force at work . I only mention it know as a similar family holiday had been arranged again but with less " variables " this time . I was looking forward to it but a bizarre coincidence has happened again to someone in my family today , an injury has occurred exactly as it did to this persons partner on the  bad holiday two years ago , nearly to the day . Another dark incident has also become them . Again this feels like an attack today ,hence the memories of the original are on my mind tonight .
 I am still going though on my own and am unsure who else will join me as everyone is so busy nowadays . No doubt I'll not be on my own but ive always fantasised about a solitary holiday wondering whether it would be uplifting or lonely . Sometimes just after my daughter was born I imagined walking the coast path of Cornwall on my own and camping on the cliffs .
 Well its bucketing it down tonight and it has come in dark early . I told you a things were gonna get stranger.....