One part of my life was especially cruel meaning peoples first impressions were wrong , very wrong . This was the most horrific mental situation possible so i buried it for years . Now its subsiding as i get older and have a daughter . But seeing my close family's teenagers growing up brings stuff back to me . I guess everyone has this though .
About 2010 something changed . I felt it in the air . Saw it in people . A concrete change of atmosphere is the only words i can use . A new chapter . This had nothing to do with relationships . It wasnt about me directly , but could see old restrictive situations were over and the old guard was dead . I felt a huge expanse of space ahead of me . About then I had an event that triggered my mystic experiences . This almost finished me but led me to who i am today .
Right now im in a big transition again . Who ive always destined ( oooh pretentious ) to be is coming ! As sure as everywhere i go water gurns in pipes in turmoil . THIS STUFF IS REAL ! Im different and people embrace this . I worry this blog is a self assassination .I also dont give a damn . Ive learnt that some things must be worked through and not buried .
Ive very much enjoyed reading a like minded blog recently . Im very impressed !Ive never felt comfortable at any stage of my life and i never will . Its too late after the start i had and this jolted me onto a different track enabling me to experience some esoteric things . Im not miserable . I am not a wreck . I am uncomfortable but technically lifes OK . I have depression in periods to be honest but i have many friends and family on pills ( which i am not ) so i judge myself quite lucky . I am an anomaly.....As i get older my only regret is life draws people into your sphere you wish you'd met years ago . Thats a joke of the cosmos of course !!!
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