My current bubble

Feeling crap tonight and stuck in a rut . Its a cool night with a hint of the end of summer in the air , not Autumnal though , just a hint of it . Sunnier weather will see a return of the summer light and gone will be this illusion . Thing is im stuck in a place again , or a mood or a chapter , or maybe a sphere of perception which repeats its self as it did last summer . In it I loose all faith I shall  again enjoy the company of a friend again  . It feels so bleak and final and once before  I opened my eyes to the patterns of life I would have given up in a sulk , but Ive seen the signs in my life that this situation shall pass again as it did last year . A sequence of people turn up in my sphere .A chain of happenings opens up a procedure...
 It is an artificial situation of obstruction that serves a purpose that i cant fathom . Why am I tormented like this ? It feels orchestrated and when it passes ( and it will ) I'll look back on it with little consideration or importance but right now its uncomfortable . Sometimes life drags people away from you with such a sophisticated matrix of events you can only smile as you see a  " divine hand " in the proceedings . This phrase loads a moral tone though and is misleading but its the only phrase i can think of to describe obstruction . Now heres the crunch point ! I must go through it . I shall go through it because its on a path . A path leads from A to point B   . Obstacles on the path can be dealt with and will be again . My lower self is despondent  but my higher self knows its a temporary upset even though I accept it may not be ! Sounds stupid ? This is proof of a higher self . The contradiction proves this .
 Funnily once I wanted to do something and it felt scary and every part of me said no , this just doesnt feel like the right time but I did it anyway because inside it felt correct . The conflict in me was over powering but my higher self pulled me through and it was the right thing to do in the end . Yes when youre lucky enough to be in touch with this higher side you can beat life's odds making the correct decisions . I guess Crowleys " Do what thou whilst shall be the whole of the law means "  This doesnt mean do what you want , If means follow your true path or your higher self im sure . Doing what you want is easy . Following your true path is hard .Rarely can I use this higher self yet . It takes courage and insulation from the everyday and I couldnt keep that up for years , but nobody can and remain sane . Compromise and a measured application when needed is the key I guess . Oh that'll be simple then ....