December Descent - A Summary ?

Kirkby Lonsdale Church

A strange tree I found at Ruskins View

 I went for a walk today to a local beauty spot. It was a bitterly cold but dry day. I swear the weather has improved since Covid slashed the number of planes flying over head. We have longer settled spells of weather it seems... It doesnt take a leap of imagination to predict I would start another label charting the rise of my expectations and spirits again. Its a cycle. A yearly cycle that is measured in fine increments of a day at a time often.

 So what did I learn through December Descent ?  I learnt the dark descent is out of my control and is a very physical affair driven by physical events that are beyond my control... and NOT a mental one that I can snap out of ! I cannot prevent that dark cloud that passes over this place at Christmas. Basically all I can do is sit tight until it passes over.

I have a theory as to why this is happening though and as to why an atmosphere so contrary to the general Christmas spirit takes me over. Are you sat down ? Basically I know for a fact that there did here reside a man called Richard Sutton who was in his childhood raised as a slave even though he was white. I often wonder how he felt as a child living amongst the manor house slaves and how he must have felt viewing others in privilege from his dire circumstances. Maybe Christmas was a very disturbing time for him and maybe those very negative energies take charge here in December ? 

So what became of Richard Sutton ? Why he only returned to this valley as an adult and bought his masters manor house and much land and farms in the valley. Of course he is often considered to be the inspiration behind the character of Heathcliff in Wuthering Heights. And like Heathcliff he was very bitter man on all accounts and not a man to be messed with. Maybe his spirit lives on here ? Maybe this is why so many things go wrong here at Christmas. A host of miserable slaves suffering would not leave many happy energies behind here either. We then get into the territory of curses...oh, and that reminds me my family was one of 4 in the 17th century who were " cursed " for fighting in a church yard. Im doomed..

New Years Day Remix Instrumental

  

I post this every year and every year I swear I see new images here. This strange film captures how life feels now ive turned 50. That sounds awful but a kind of despair has set in and a resigned fact that the best may be over. Life is fragile and mysterious but also more obvious somehow.

 

The problem is the vaccine. Covid will not be allowed to disappear before the solution.

The end ?

 I actually felt relaxed today. Thats the first time this Christmas. Its been awful, but I think or hope my downward spiral has bottomed out today. Its been very useful posting about this December descent and when viewed as whole my posts show a slow build to a dark influence. My random post of the dam collapse I found on You tube predicted the awful water trouble ive had for instance. Im hoping this full moon brings this horrible circuit of negative energy to a close. 

Mean while on Face Book I came across a meme about how the sun stops still for I think it was the 3 days before Christmas but on Christmas day it starts to move again as it is " reborn " This overlaps with the worst of my luck and moods for December. Ive always felt a marked improvement in my outlook on Boxing Day. 

Moods can be worked on but luck cannot. I dont want to go through this again next year. Now to try and have some fun before this festive season in over !

Everything in my life is becoming unsustainable...

" The world doesnt revolve around you Dad ! "

 I made the mistake of taking a shopping trip into town on Boxing day today. Anything I wanted was out of stock or the store was closed. After a bad week I suddenly realized on the drive home how hard it has become to acquire what was once so easy. I keep being told in stores that they dont sell the items Im wanting much anymore. Time is gradually making me an irrelevance. Goods in general are not being marketed at me. Cars for example are now rapidly heading towards being electric. Im being by past and its going to get worse...

There is a storm blowing outside tonight and it wet and cold.

Merry Christmas, eh ?

 Dec 22nd -  Water bowl for cows stops working. Buy and fit new one

Dec 23rd- Water bowl at other side of building snaps off flooding building and the stop tap breaks at the same time !?

Dec- 24th Another water bowl gets air locked. Wifes newly repaired bumper has scrape on it. I go for a drive and ABS sensor wire wears through on driveshaft. Power steering packs up due to low oil level all of a sudden. Mother reverses into neighbors car. 1000 liter water container falls of tractor in yard.

This is what I have to put with and its quite normal for Christmas. Last night as the wind got up and the early dusk set In I could feel that force that vents its anger here every December. Its an emotion of bitter joy in the air. I can feel the festive vibe but everything thats happening here to me is isolating me from it with a vengeance. Easter is the same funnily. Everything goes haywire then to. It seems to be the religious holidays that are the problem and hence ive grown to hate them, really hate them.

Update Dec- 26th Another bowl has started leaking and a neighbors water pipe has burst. WTF 

Zoom carol service gate crashed !

 Well, well, well..If I didnt see this with my own eyes and have it confirmed by another then I would have not believed it. Somehow amongst the Christmas carol subtitles on a local Zoom service the name CATHERINE randomly appeared. As I live next door to the original site that gave inspiration to Wuthering Heights this is striking in the extreme. It gets better when I look at my Face Book memories though as I made a joke 3 years ago to the day about her character.

What could have caused this ? Lots of local people " gathered " but separate concentrating on a single goal ? Im getting palpations here. Oh, and last but not least a film crew have been scouting the property with the view to making a " Bronte " film. CAN YOU SEE IT YET ?

Live as if...

 " Behave like you already have the new strain of virus " 

Im saying no to that insanity.