I came across this mural, if thats what its is, in a YouTube video that was looking at Manchester city center.

Indeed the dogs are small gods today.

Towns are gods too.

 

How I feel living in this valley all my life

 

He just grew up with it  ?

Faith No More - Last Cup of Sorrow (Official Music Video) [4K]

I cant believe its been 2 years since I last posted this song.

I see more now, the same awful situation keeps repeating in a kind of circuit.

The people are different but the outcome is the same.

A wise man once told me that " you can change the words, but not the tune "

There are some outcomes that never change over time.

Its easier to see in others, but harder to actually point this out to them.

Nobody wants to hear that.

Part of me believes this

I found this tonight after repeatedly using the phrase " No good deed goes unpunished ". Now Im confused or is that hysterically optimistic ? In my experience helping an animal feels the right thing to do but often in the long term it makes no difference to the outcome. I guess that is what makes us human. What a folly, eh ? Still it feels such an honorable and kind thing to do.

Nature aside or rather on the human scale easing someones woes seems decent and the right course of action, but there are often future events that occur to your detriment or even to the person you may help afterwards. And then there are those who you cannot help until they help themselves.

Something you will never change ?

Part 1: CLOPHILL: The Church That Horrified a Nation (Documentary)

Really enjoying this new channel ive found.

A blood splattered paradise

 Its a quarter to six and its already pitch dark and I'm wondering just how to explain the gravity of what ive heard has happened over the summer in my area. Its been a very cold gloomy one with dull depressing evenings and no summer bounce, or feel good factor to bolster our mood after a dreary winter and spring. And then there have been the terrible accidents that are horrific and seem to be building in intensity. 

The first one that really shocked me was the death of a visitor on a local road. in July. It seemed like a freak accident. He rounded a bend just as a tree fell and it pierced his windscreen killing him instantly. Well it was windy weather I thought so its probably just a chance happening and thought no more of it despite being disturbed by it. I suppose it could have happened to anyone.

Next came the deaths of two people at a notorious motorway junction. Vehicles constantly do not give way after failing to realize the motorway exit slip road is joining a main road at a 90 degree angle.. A bus hit a passing car pushing it into the path of a motorbike, and you can guess the outcome of that. Wagons fail to give way often here and its all a game of Russian roulette, literally. Well it is a bad junction so maybe its going to happen once in a while.

Then things got worse, much worse. A few weeks ago a man drove up the wrong side of the motorway, entering at this notorious junction and collided with a car carrying a family of four. They all died ,and the driver of the car who made the fatal mistake too. That was five violent deaths that resulted from a fire ball that engulfed the wreckage such was the power of the impact. It made the national news. The mind just boggles to work out how such a stupid accident could happen. That was a worrying and shocking one. The random event that could snuff you out without warning or reason.

The final disaster so far this year and I say so far, happened just this week. A woman was chopped clean in two at an Asda store. The cause was a delivery wagon at the unloading docks. Its really over kill, surely ? After all thats happened this summer its almost as though something wants attention. Some dark force ? I dont know but none of this feels natural at all.

This is all happened against the background of constant accidents that happen on the M6 within 10 miles of this junction which is called number 37. There are accidents every week. Lorries over turning, fires ect. Its quite normal to see a closure at a weekend and an air ambulance arriving. I think the area is cursed or maybe is on a ley line ? Its all getting ridiculous and very worrying. 

When I look around this area its beautiful but very dark and very dangerous. It seems to be those passing through the area that seem to bare the brunt of it all. Ive only mentioned incidents that have occurred this year otherwise I could write a book.

 

'Severed head' found in Edinburgh street by Halloween revellers as crash...

What the hell is going on here ?

Its so true. They had a delicious use of language that seemed to produce a sentence that contained so much detail in a somehow strange order or on multiple levels that added a certain poetry to even the most mundane of statements. 

I tried to read Moby Dick a couple of years ago but gave up as every sentence was so contorted and long winded that it was just exhausting and got very boring when the plot moved so slowly. I think there is a sweet spot here though for this kind of expression though, a middle ground.

 Maybe people spoke differently back then ? Probably not, but they must have had a good concentration and a certain intelligence to follow a story, and something I dont possess to finish it ! 

 

I cant explain it

 Yesterday my dog had a bad eye. I noticed this when putting on its muzzle. Worryingly the eye was starting to go cloudy in the same way that a sheeps eye can when they pick up an infection and need anti-biotic ointment, The surround of the eye was also red and sore. As this could lead to blindness eventually I decided I must ring the vet next day.

So I rang up this morning and managed to get a last minute appointment as they close at 12 on a Saturday. As I unchained my dog I examined its eye before setting off ( thank goodness ) only to see nothing wrong with it at all. Ringing the vet back to cancel the appointment now felt awkward, and a more than a bit embarrassing. One day the eye had damage, the next it was not so. I cant not explain it.

Someone once told me that reality is not linear. One day a thing can be so and the next it is not. People certainly change their tune from one day to the next. 

There is nothing worse than having your judgement called into question, especially if it is by yourself !

 Everywhere feels the same on a wet day ?

Teen arrested after 3 men ‘murdered’ in tower block as terrified neighbo...

Its been a cold dull summer punctuated by often triple murders. The above is number three. First we had the stabbing to death of three young girls which triggered the riots, the next crime was the killing of a mother and her two daughters who were in their 20's by a man with a crossbow.

These were crimes even worse than what we unfortunately in the UK have grown to observe as " routine " or as the media like to say  they are" isolated ". They are not isolated or routine. Something is ramping up the violence. As ive said before its as though evil is manifesting itself ever stronger and is brazenly flexing its muscles. But worst of all it has literally become a " fast tracked " road to a jailable offence just to point out any fact about the crimes that may be taken as " hateful " regarding the nationality of the killers, or their skin colour, or their religion. Point out any patterns or suggest there is a problem here and you could, and many have in fact been jailed  within a week of just making heated fb comments.

Over 2000 prisoners have been released recently from " over crowded " jails just to make room for these new " criminals ". There is no mercy for them. No community service option or educational course god forbid as we often have for other crimes such as theft or assault. Nope, just straight to jail. And all this in the first few weeks of a new government.

This situation has just put a lid on debate and is of course a ticking time bomb. Welcome to the UK ? What have we become ?

Rob Zombie - Living Dead Girl

Is there a bad Zombie song ?

Well I like it...

There is some very strange and messed up stuff on Temu. Seems the algorithm thinks this may interest me ?  lol Now ive clicked on it to copy then the idea is now confirmed. Thats the way the internet works and down the worm hole we go into ever more darker and weird products being offered. 

Each product takes a leap down the spectrum towards deprivation. Is there a stopping place for algorithms  ? Could we not be offered a limit that does not take us somewhere we abhor ?  Of course it all starts out as a laugh, but ends with a feeling of disgust and unease. 

YouTube is a classic example. Watch a certain video about anything serious and before long you will be offered something you didnt want to or worse to me " know ". The internet is a fast track you may not have entered knowingly. 

Starmer Just Got Scary

Why am i hesitating about sharing this on FB ? Because there is a genuine risk of being jailed. Its that serious. How quickly our freedom has gone and how crooked a country we have become. But weve all seen this coming. The left are very good at criminalizing ordinary people. Its actually scary living here and there is an atmosphere of repression if you have a view on recent murders here. Im still in shock about it all. Its real and its here. We have been thrown in at the deep end.

The Great Purge Begins

Im so angry I can hardly watch the biased new at the moment. 

Things have suddenly grown very disturbing here.

What a lovely new government we all have now.

 Government

 Media 

 Police

THE UNHOLY TRINITY

A fantastic summary of why magick works !

Mindset and the right drivers....

The Distressing Caroline Spencer Case

This is my new favorite channel. Whether the stories are true or not  none of us can say, but they are damn good yarns at the very least. 

He is also a fantastic story narrator. This story really spooked me tonight, especially the ending. I want to watch another now but my dreams are getting out of hand crazy at the moment. 

The 2024 Ford Capri - It's WORSE than we think - an insider speaks out

There is a strange wisp of " smoke " coming from the mans cap peak at 27 seconds in.

Its a complicated subject but each to their own. 

Personally it was medication that was my savior 

How crass I am..

The never ending story

By chance the husband of someone I used to know is working as a plumber at the manor house next door. Ive heard through the grape vine that during the gutting and redecorating of the building an over powering smell of lavender has permeated the building. Other strange things have happened but I have yet to hear what they are. 

Now here it gets weird. I was once told years ago that I smelt very strongly of flowers while in Cornwall by a passing old couple. That really amused them. Also a medium who visited the manor also said she could smell flowers when she visited the previous owner. This is a thing alright. 

The plumber will have his work cut out for sure as water has a life of its own here. I doubt he realizes this yet, but the smell is a sign that things are not normal here. 

Of course his wifes name is Bronte. Of course....

The new owners own a plantation as well. Of course....not a cotton one as the salves used to work on, but an olive one !

The Wuthering Heights story manifests locally for my family in other ways I dont feel comfortable printing. Its a curse.

The stories effects have nearly broken people and that includes myself.

You see Im trapped in a matrix or the echoes of one

I guess there can be beauty in the gloom ?

I remember walking across this bridge two summers ago. I walked to the far side and said to myself on the return crossing I must start to feel better once I'd returned to the side that I had set out from. I used the bridge as a metaphor. I was getting desperate. I never want to feel like that again.

Sunny day - potential tra- ge- day ?

 Last weekend during a nice sunny day out at a tourist attraction a disturbing potential accident was averted by only seconds, and it happened right next to me as I was relaxed and in a day dream.

The problem was that a couple with two toddlers took their eye off one of them and during those seconds he  managed to climb up a picnic seat and bench, and then on to the top of a wall. The horrifying thing was that on the other side of the wall was a 5 meter drop onto some stone flags. Only the parents frantic calls made him freeze and not crawl further off the edge. 

Now the problem I have here is that I was leaning on the wall in a daze looking at the view and the child was literally within touching distance. As a parent I felt shocked I had not been aware of the danger he was in. I then went on to imagine the scene if he had fallen and the effect it would have had on me.

The problem is, and this has happened several times to me personally is that even as you are relaxed and happy a fatal situation can suddenly erupt. The last time this happened was the run away tractor on a scenic summer nights drive. There is no escaping the fact that these instances keep happening but luckily by some miracle they are averted. Some have suggested it is good that these instances are averted as though a " guardian angel " is watching over me. He or she must be very busy then. Un- naturally so. 

Could you imagine the affect on my mental health if this situation had been fatal ? I need an outlook or philosophy to settle me and make some sense of this constant peril that seems to rear up randomly at any moment. And at what point do you say to yourself " this is getting out of hand ? ". And is it normal, and do other people experience this but just say nothing ? And why do people never share such instances ? Are they scared too ?

I often smile wryly to myself when I hear emergency sirens on a beautiful summers day. Despite the seemingly perfect  idyllic day some one, somewhere is having a very bad one.

Frantic

Its been a dramatic day of activity in the sky. I'd say its been frantic. Ive felt quite excited to see evidence that is plainly not natural. I know we live under a a main flight path but there is no way that many planes have passed parallel to each other.

Meanwhile at the same time but looking in another direction...

And the final result by the evening. Its been quite an eye opener.

Baltimora - Tarzan Boy

Warning, this is a very random post. All spring this song has been cropping up on a YouTube music mix. It seems it was first released in 1985 and its always just been a song that plays in your mind or is never that far away from doing so if you know what I mean.

During lambing time I often hear sheep bleating in the field outside but I thought sometimes they sounded too close, as though one might have walked into the farm yard. It was only after about a month I realized this " bleating " was coming from the background of this song on the TV. You can hear it 32 seconds in and throughout the song. I thought I was going mad at first but it is used in the song rhythmically. How bizarre.

Now I also get why the song is called Tarzan Boy after seeing the very blurry primitive video and hearing that call in the chorus. Of course back in the 80's we didnt have MTV in our house. I think we had 4 channels...lol

Its cold

Its freezing. Bloody freezing. Ive turned the heating back on. Most days its 10 degrees C in the morning and evenings. If were lucky we might see 14 degrees by mid-day. Ive never seen such a cold spell in June.

Saying that we have had an early spring due to a mild winter. Some plants that normally flower in July did so in late May. It actually feels more like Autumn this week and it messes with my mindset. 

There is an abundance of moisture in the air and all spring the sky was a mixture of expanding vapour trails, classic fluffy dark rain clouds and above them a strange grey haze that rarely cleared, even when the sun broke through. The drizzle was endless and demoralizing.

Apparently it has been the warmest or " hottest " as they are so keen to point out spring on record. Not that anyone agrees with that statement, but the mean temperature has been higher in Jan - March. This maybe only by a small amount but nature took note and re-acted. It was not enough for the average person to notice and the rain masked this fact too.

Its now a case of enjoying the sun when it appears and hoping for some normal weather ahead, but I worry what " they " might be doing in reaction to the " hottest spring on record " ? Actions are so easily justified when the environment is " at stake ".

Being on the dark side of the valley doesnt help either.

Offensive weapon

  Not sure what this means but a large group of Hindus or was it a Sikh family decanter-ed the vehicle.

When I'm Punching Nazis

Its amazing just how hateful liberal thinking people are. They are full of arrogance and have passions that blind all sense and understanding when debating with others. You are just simply wrong. Period.

Alan - Episode Eight

Its funny that someone viewed this sketch I posted on one of my blogs in 2014 yesterday. Ive been considering how its been about a year since I started visiting a Councillor once a month now, and I feel I have come a full circle today.

Little did I know back in 2014 that I would be using one ! Hence this sketch is still amusing me. Its amusing me for several reasons. Reason one is the Therapists tone of voice. Reason two is unpolished Alan. Its how I feel sometimes in a situation outside of my comfort zone. Reason three is this sketch reminds me of me and my Sister, her being the Therapist of course with that slightly condescending tone to her voice. I admit when she is visiting I become more " Alan " just to annoy her a little.

Of course life is all about finding your way back to yourself. That self may have some rough edges too and when you begin to feel restored they spring back into action. Did they cause you the trouble in the first place though ? Only after a complete circle can you  really answer that question.

On my last few visits ive found myself analyzing my Councillors reactions to what I say. The way he has un controlled body movements when I mention a subject that obviously stresses him or that seems to mean a lot to him, cracking his knuckles or tilting his head right back as though he is physically deflecting some view point, or finds a subject un comfortable to talk about. Its time to take a break I think or move to once every two months. I definitely feel this is a sign that ive put some distance between what happened to me in 2022. I guess that was what I was after all along. Not perfection, just some distance.

What of the future ?  New stresses will emerge and at least I know I have a tool that I had never considered using before to combat them a little ? Thats quite a big step forward for me.

W.A.S.P. - Mean Man

Been listening to this everyday...

So how did he know ?

 Ive taken to greeting a friend of my wife's by calling her " comrade ". It just seems to suit her slow grinding determination to drag herself through life with her particular problems.

Now when my neighbor approached me this week, being in a good mood I thought I might greet him as " comrade " too ,but then thought better of it. But imagine my surprise when he gave me a mock salute totally randomly in jest. I have never used that phrase openly or at all before last week, and even that was in private.

Its beyond coincidence.

Military horses escape onto streets of London

An ill omen of a war to come ?

This genuinely shocked me. The same effect can been seen when the picture is shrunk oddly.

Short or long term solution ?

Always the dark haired girl

 There is one common thing that links all my dreams however varied is that I am emotionally invested in them. Thats the feeling I get next day and thats why they affect me so much, even if they are not all really vivid. 

They are mostly about people under attack and Im in their midst rapidly trying to swing situations for the better. 

Last night I dreamed of a mother and a girl living in a shack who were being targeted by a demon who was trying to posses them. 

Next day the dream had me unsettled as though it was a jig-saw piece.

My mind is re-calibrating.  

Laura Branigan - Self Control (Official Music Video)

Ive always loved this song but only recently seen the video for it. 

Its one of the strangest and risky ive seen for that era, surely ?

Spring

Youth 

Energy

Some commodities are worth more than gold  ?

 

Project Pitchfork - Rain

I cant stand much more rain...

Harsh ?

 Today I had a brief flash of inspiration regarding the meaning to our lives...

 WE ARE HERE FOR A LONG TIME NOT A GOOD TIME !

Black Box - Ride on Time (Official Video)

Every time I hear this song my mind goes back to a hot eighties summer. My sister is at 6th form and this song plays on the her radio every day in her bedroom. A new music station called Atlantic 252  had just come on air, and it could even be picked up in the sticks as it was broadcast on a long wave channel. This caused a genuine excitement in people.

My sister had just discovered catalogue  shopping via mail order ( pre- internet ) lol and had bought a very cheap shiny hifi. She drove us mad with its cheap harsh sound. Its funny how a song can capture a brief season or moment in your life and always will do !

 Ive had the worst day on this farm ive ever had and now the water supply has gone off. Fucking Easter time or there abouts. I give up for today.

Well that was unpleasant

 Something new happened to me this week that totally caught me off guard. While watching a sheep  being cut open by a Vet to get the lambs out after a problematic attempt to give birth I began to feel very unwell. The feeling set off like a sweaty, head swimming panic attack. I saw strange light patterns in my vision that I once remember reading were signs of a coming migraine. It all came on without warning.

Feeling more than a bit off color I was given a glass of water in the reception area before going outside to be sick, which quickly turned  into me passing out in the car park. Next thing I knew people were helping me up and I couldnt work out what had happened. I'd grazed my head and knees as I fell and sprained my hand. Its a helpless feeling laid on the ground and you know you're helpless. Body and mind have let you down.

After some tea and chocolate biscuits I gradually started to feel better but was left shaken by the unexpectedness of it all.  This has never happened to me before despite seeing gory things on the farm. Again I have found something else in me that I dont feel is me. I didnt find the operation disturbing at all, but something in my brain did, and thats annoying  part to me. Its a change. A change in my mental state that is now more likely to be knocked off balance by subtle things such as a dog barking or anything that my mind deems threatening. My calibration has changed and is a reminder that pills cannot totally wipe you affliction away. 

One specific thought I had as the Vet cut open the sheep was that we are all just flesh and blood in the end. A sack of guts, bones and a brain thats advanced ,or so it seems. Everyone I know is just different sacks of bits and bobs joined by a back bone. Its very easy to think we are gods and pure magic. Maybe this is what scared me so much ?

Is your SH1T filter clogged?!

Its true that as you get older that filter gets clogged sooner. It may need cleaning weekly. With me its a bike ride or drive out in my car at speed. I'll leave the alcohol to someone else though. 

Top surgery regret? not a bit after 2 years ❤️ #topsurgery #nonbinary #t...

This sick age...but what do I know ?

Who is paying for this ?

Change in death stats

They lie while the country and democracy fails, and society heads towards the ruins. Whats the point anymore ? No organisation is un-corrupted anymore. The Police, politicians and the Health Service are corrupt and now even official statistic institutions. This is so Big Brother re-writing the past as an election approaches. Im not voting. All has gone too far. Maybe anarchy will rescue some ? Democracy has failed as its doing all over the world in 2024. Simple really.

Health & safety gone MAD | Watch stranger pull man from car, as fire cre...

Welcome to Britain and everything thats wrong here nowadays. 

A few purchases...

 So as the days are lengthening (slightly ) ive found myself going out routinely for a bike ride at dusk. Ive found a bit of a bargain on Facebook Market Place. Some say its " too much " of a bargain, but I'm not complaining at a  "as new bike " for £280 that originally retailed at over £1000 new !

I'm aiming at getting a bit more in shape as ive put on 2 stone since covid and the after complications. I find the exercise does wonders for my stress sinus pains too, and lifts my mood. Arriving tomorrow hopefully is a quality bike rack to fit on the tailgate of my car. This will carry 3 bikes so setting off as a family to ride will be so much easier. 

Roll on Spring. No pun intended.