Moon Like Dreams : A poetry blog: Sex In Church

Moon Like Dreams : A poetry blog: Sex In Church: I remember it was a hot sultry June afternoon, with a bright crisp clear heat. The trees were in the peak of  their Summer greens, and an en...

I wrote this as an observation in 2016. I think it fits in with Halloween in an alternative way...

New Blog !

 I have a new blog  ebonynights23.blogspot.com 

 This doesnt come up on a search so try visiting my Blogger profile for a link. Last years blog Ethereal December has a link there to. Hope this works !  Time to log the dark season again and try and learn something.

Vengaboys - Up & Down

How could I forget ? Summer is UP and Winter is DOWN for me.

This video is the future, no ? Facebook certainly think so....or rather Meta !

BOOM ! Thats it. The reason everything feels so jaded is that these are the last days of an old reality. The future will be virtual reality, or seen to be. Its certainly coming and the results will obliterate everything we value. I can feel it. Entropy. Breakfast in the ruins...

Funny how that progressed isnt it ? All from a cheesy song. A cog in the machine of my thoughts. Never look down on a cog as it is only a cog and never pretends to be anything else, and only a fool would deride it for not being what they would expect. 

Navel gazing

 I some times wonder what I am ? What we are outside of everything we have been through. Im typing more and more pairs of vowels back to front. Every morning I want sugar I reach for the damned jar marked tea. Every morning. Im doing it on purpose at some level.

When I feel something meaningful I soon doubt it within 24 hours. Its a feeling of things slipping through my fingers. Ive had this before. Anything meaningful seems so fleeting. The mundane remains constant. I think  this is what they call " the abyss " . Its is approaching. The wonderful is all great and so is the moment of a crisis in which its very clear and exciting carrying out what needs to be done, but what afterwards ? 

I think this whole country is going through a similar phase. Acquiring what we want is not the answer as it will pass. This is the last day before the clocks go back tonight. That never gets old. I swear everything changes then. Lets see...

Is this ectoplasm ?

The last version of this photo I posted had a filter. This original one hadnt. Again if you look to the far left just below half way down you can see a white cloud type billowing along obscuring a tree trunk and settling in a hollow below. If you view this on a lap top and zoom in then its very clear this is something very strange. What is this wandering substance ? 

When I posted my mistake about the leaf ( someone commented on my fb that it looked like a duck ) I knew and have always suspected there was something over there. When I try do something meaningful in the yard a gusty annoying wind gets up. Other people have noticed this annoying trait to as it happens and passes by so quickly and obviously.

Im now wondering what else I may capture on film. Well at least my new neighbour isnt around at the moment ! 

Spot the difference ?

Front

  

Rear

 

ApologetiX "Jailhouse Rock - Elvis Presley" PARODY

Quite good ?  Im betting youve never seen anything like this before ? lol

Project Pitchfork - Ascension feat. Sue

What am I ? What are you ? I once came across a paragraph that summed up and solved the mystery of why and what I am. I was reading a book by Aliester Crowley or was it Dion Fortune ? In this  book there was a paragraph that described a type make up of person who has unseen abilities, and the factors that were so essential in so many cases.

  What hit me most was an observation about these peoples physiological make up and certain medical conditions that may see a distortion of the balances of essential chemicals in the body which is said to cause them being out of kilter with the majority. They can never be part of the majority whose automatic regulation sets them apart. Its this distortion that triggers it all. The one such disorder matched mine exactly. I was astounded. Upset regulation of the body affects the mind and its the mind that creates the magic.

  Another factor which set these people apart or often aided them in magic was the fact they were routinely found living generally isolated lives in the countryside. These people were not interrupted during their long train of thought. Their minds drifted far when thinking of some things. They had space to muse or brood uninterrupted. They spent an un-natural amount of time thinking about single subjects that they deemed important to them ,where as other more focused people may deem them to be whimsical. Unless you can unhinge from the routine your never going to see anything supernatural at all.

  So much contained in a single paragraph that matched myself. So Im an oddity and always will be. My make up is not automatic, its jumped the rails. When one puts so much energy into any obsession then events will move. Its a problem as everyday life has to function too. 

   In the end the its just holding back the dam of life for a while and i'd be lying if I said it was a cure for all ills, but none of that matters when it is what you are. It matters not.

For the use of whatever ghosts choose to inhabit it ?

This Birch tree blew down in spring 2020 in a field belonging to Whernside Manor and at the time it felt profound. Wind is funnelled at high speed round the back of this building and I guess the tree was rotten inside resulting its dramatic fall. An interesting fact is that lambs with their mothers in lambing time will not thrive in this field. We used to have free use of this field when the last owners were here, but gave up doing so after so many problems. The same can be said for another field, one that we own that borders the property at one corner. We gave up feeding the sheep in winter in that corner as they started to waste away and loose weight. Once we started to feed them a short distance away they recovered.

 Not quite as pretty a view as the front, in fact a different face altogether and the very picture of menace and decay. It wont look this way for long given the wealthy honeymoon couple have plans, big plans. It will be nice to look back on this photo some day. I hesitate to say this but there is some very strange white mists on the left half way down the photo. It appears to be moving over a fence and from one field to another. Well it isnt a leaf..lol 

 

Here we go, again...

 Today, or rather tonight I am going to see if I can block BBC News at least from my Sky Box. I know there is a blocking option for use with children so I expect I can choose to block any channel. Sky News is truly awful to. They have started to show public service type adverts of their own giving views updates on " the rules " at the start and end of EVERY commercial break. And believe me thats a lot of breaks as the amount of adverts make the channel unwatchable. These are accompanied by dramatic moody stoic  music as though the apocalypse is coming. As of yet no new rules exist, but that hasnt stopped them pumping out the fear. I cant stand another winter of that.

There was one of those " tea time "  government press conferences yesterday and apparently the face mask is to soon become compulsory in public buildings such as shops again. Vaccination is to to pushed in schools and covid passports will be pushed harder and unvaccinated people will be targeted more. Its a beautiful moon light night and the hills are illuminated as the church bells are ringing, but as someone told me last night " you can feel it coming " Hysteria.

A poem in real time

 12.32am  -  Two more lines -  Fallen crown

                                                 Fallen ground

November

Early shadows black
And gusty winds from snow topped hills
Mixed the North winds moan.
To aid the creak of beams of oak
And set the scene for tea at dusk.
A silent house and blue tinged sky
Tree tops bend and sweep.
An unfettered Northern blast.
An arm, or out reached hand demands again
A re-run of the past.

The last poem I wrote in 2018. 

Attention seeker in the house ?

 Something very strange happened last weekend. I was playing with my daughter on this small wooden pinball type game. The board is made up of many small nails that are situated on a sloping surface. The ball bearings are catapulted pin ball style by a spring loaded rod. Its a game of chance as the holes at the bottom of the slope have different scores and the nails cause the balls decent to be highly random, hence the fun of chance.

The first time my daughter fired a ball and it came to rest against a nail half way down the board I was amazed. The ball fell through several pins ricocheting its way downward before coming to a perfect balance against a nail. The odds of that were unlikely to impossible. A few minutes later it happened again. Something was seriously amiss here. I wondered if the balls had become magnetised  but ive never seen that happen and when the ball came to a rest again this time against a wooden score divider at the bottom of the game and again on a tapered point that would be virtually impossible, then I was convinced something was manipulating this outcome.

The patterns on the board look a bit mystical. Then I remembered  hearing somewhere and I cant remember where that once all games of chance were seen as acts of divination. Once all card games were seen as forecasts of fortune in life events for the players. Seems far fetched but I had a very odd experience about 10 years ago with a word game which definitely grabbed my attention as they say.

The game was called ... actually I forget, but there were cubes with different letters printed on the sides and you rolled them like dice.  I got a selection of letters which I immediately arranged to spell the word TINTAGEL exactly, which was the name of  a mystical Cornish location I was planning to visit. I was debating whether to travel the long distance ( long by UK standards lol ) at the time but certainly didnt hold back after that night.

I wonder what secrets our hand movements hold and whether we are in full control of them ? Maybe our subconscious plays a part in our random gestures ? Ive noted that in the game nothing odd happened when I fired the ball, but thats not to say I havent experienced items that ive thrown down landing end up for periods of time beyond chance, 

Any title would detract from the below

" I distrust any thoughts uttered by a man whose health is not robust. All other thoughts are surely symptoms of dis-ease ? Yet these thoughts are often beautiful and may be true within the circle of the conditions of the speaker. And yet again, do we not find that the most robust of men express NO thoughts at all ? They eat and drink and copulate in silence... " A. Crowley

This could have been written about facebook or any online platform... I include myself in the above observation by the way. I think what he is trying to say is that our circumstances shape our views so our views cannot be a legit representation of the " truth ". Its certainly true that stress has caused me to write a lot and to even start my blogs. Its a given that creative types thrive on discord. For example I cant write a poem nowadays, and as for when I could write one I found it just wrote itself ,and unless Im very uneasy nothing comes out at all. As for Crowley's final line Im not going there...lol !

Coming Up For Air ?

 Im not a big reader. In fact its probably a year since I read a book, but when I do read its usually something by a famous writer such as George Orwell or Mary Shelley. Ive read two books by George Orwell the first was Down and Out in London and Paris which was basically about Orwells experience of living below the poverty line at the turn of the century in these cities. This book really struck a chord with me. Before modern welfare and the 1st World War life was extremely harsh. People trying to find work just to eat, horrific working hours and conditions were all common place. Hearing a persons first hand accounts of the squalor and the fear of starvation is just so revealing. How fast times have changed.

The 2nd book I read by Orwell was Coming Up for Air. This was a novel about a man at the middle age time of life trying to revisit his childhood stomping grown as they say. He does succeed in a fashion but life pits every obstacle in his way, and on revisiting his child hood village he finds it has become a town. I found one observation very acute in this book, and it was that a person who owns a failing business can survive a long time, unlike someone who lost their job and went straight to the " workhouse " In fact he stated that pre 1st World War people often starved to death before bankruptcy occurred which was seen as a blessing as public humiliation of being bankrupted was deemed worse ! Not so long ago we had such different values and how fast these have changed.

Anyway the book ive ordered tonight is called The Road to Wigan Pier and Im guessing its a look at society in a similar period in recent history. Ive never read 1984 though and we read Animal Farm at secondary school. I seem to have an appetite for his less well known writing. Im also planning to read Dracula which if it is as good as Frankenstein then it will really move me. 

The nights seem so long here and time seems to go so slow at night. There is only so much You Tube I can watch, and everything seems so jaded. There comes a weariness that manifests after so much time alive. That sounds awful but given enough time what we are ceases eventually to be and a void is left. What was is no more.. and whats now is just a blank.

You know I woke up in the early hours today like I used to with a poem forming in my mind. Its a long while since that has happened...

Do you know how it ends ?

The mess

The flailing 

I know youve seen it...

Vincent price Speech

     

Monster Cub. Awful title and truly awful costumes, but this film always makes me smile. Only Vincent Price could pull this off. So bad its good. So much humour in each 3 stories that make up the film. Its weird, but I like it. It certainly doesnt take itself seriously.

A cascading torrent

I wonder what has been distilled into us over the years ? Condensed. Refined. No wonder we are volatile. Nothing weak could remain or nothing un-necessary as it would be faded out, surely ? No doubt we are highly polluted from our past generations - good and bad. How have we not gone insane ? 

My family surname will die out soon due to an unfortunate series of events and relationships that all bred female offspring. But wait, there is one hope, my cousins son who is settling down. He must bare a son or the name Haygarth will die. Genes dont die though, but we do hold stock in a surname...All things come and go, and all must end one day.

 

Gigi D'Agostino La Passion (Official Video)

Is anyone or anything what it first appears to be ? Watch out for the  sun glasses thief at 1: 23 no less. Poor guy, he thinks the woman is coming to his rescue him, but....Classic. This album got me through a torrid time and I must have listened to it hundreds of times. Something about the beat and changes of tone. A friend once told me the music triggered his subconscious. Interesting. I can now listen to this album without being flooded with emotions from the past...at last.

Its going to be a strange moon this weekend. Im beginning to feel odd. I think a watershed is approaching.

Lilith: The First Woman? (Biblical Stories Explained)

So its said that Gods attempt at creating woman as an equal failed when man and woman were both created independently from the same " dust "  Only when woman mk 2 was created from man himself did man find himself compatible. I can see why that idea hasnt gone down well nowadays. What really fascinates me is that a sex change woman is the direct result that has being created via a man also. Quite literally. There is an uneasy parallel here. Of course we all start off the same in the womb obviously. Are we becoming God ? Are we at the end of the time line of this earth then ? Where can we go from here ? We must be in the final chapter of whats possible. Surely ?

Gigi D'Agostino - Amorelettronico ( Tecno Fes 2 )

This mix would have been better had the mans and womans vocals been mixed as a duet to end the song. This songs under my skin at the moment. 

 

I havent the time or patience for astrology. Hence this made me laugh. Thats not to say I think its a falsehood though...

Building My Own Replica WRC Car! // Project Rally Ford Focus SVT

 

I found this channel last spring. The content is outstanding. I'd never seen a woman with such hands on knowledge and enthusiasm for working with cars. Her edgy sense of humour was cute to, but something was off. Something told me that a woman can be mechanical... but to this extent, at home in their garage and filming to ? Hard to believe. Being an Aerospace engineer to might explain some of the above traits.

   It wasnt long before some odd things started turning up in relation to the channels videos and then it hit me - " she " was trans.

   As a man this is hard to swallow. How does it feel looking at this as a woman ? A further shock came when I saw a photo of her before the sex change. It seems anything can happen nowadays. Anything can be. How does it feel to be a man inside a womans body looking out through a womans eyes ? The mind boggles. As ive mentioned before a relations daughter who I have never met has under gone a sex change from she to he, and that to me seems an abomination especially as she is just a teenager. Maybe an adult has the right to do anything they want to their body they desire ? Its hard to argue against. But what they can never change is how everyone else feels about this. 

  Feeling uneasy originally when I watched this channel suggests somewhere inside my brain could see the truth. My wife certainly admitted she had her suspicions immediately. I guess many men have been fooled to, especially when she appeals to traditional male qualities and is so easy on the eye, and has a quirky, and I must admit funny sense of humour. Of course she appealed to me because she was a man underneath which I could connect and relate to... and was to all extent and appearances an attractive woman in my eyes. What a cluster f*** as they say ! The human brain has never in the history of mankind ever had to process such an occurrence. Hence as a man I should not be to dismayed I was " fooled ".

   The problem I find is that this circle cannot be squared. Its un-natural and will always be very odd. How can that ever be denied ? The big question is can I watch more of this great channel without being distracted ? Its so good I might just pull it off, but its such a pity that first impressions were corrupted. As for anyones " anima " lets not go there here..lol . It would get too complicated.

What I keep mistyping. Why ?

 YUO - YOU

Oh, its here in black and white and its profound and time will tell me why...

The  u and o are mirror images of each other.

I know I have another me inside, another side...a mirrored side ?

Uncomfortably jumping the tracks ?

 I was told this week that the Second Coming was approaching. I know more than one watcher of this blog believes this is true, and boy does that narrow it down...LOL  I am not a Christian but I feel this view could be true or is true. I feel as if a change of age has occurred and all certainties are on hold. I believe there is a window of change in reality. Anything could come through this window. Alien contact being suddenly proved ? Sounds far fetched but something is coming, its in the wind tonight just like it was on February  2019 before all the madness began.

Its as though these days should not be happening. Have we " jumped tracks " the tracks onto a different future ? Have we by suspending everyday life allowed something new to slip through the future ? Ive been thinking about this over the weekend but could never find the words to make it sound how I considered it to be. A shiver has just run down my spine along with a feeling we wont see that future we projected from 10 years or so ago. Its already gone.

Marc Almond - The Days Of Pearly Spencer

Turned on the radio yesterday which I rarely do to this song. First song on my December blog  last year no less...

Project Pitchfork - Ascension feat. Sue Update !

Its worth noting that even if one can be " lifted above all human tragedy " then all of nature would still if " seen in its entirety " project the same if not more extreme  levels of destruction. I think this is what the songs lyrics are saying as the idealistic female sung lyrics are countered by the male vocals spouting a darker existential out look that mentions death in nature.

 They are both identical sides of a coin. If death and destruction in nature ensures space for new life to thrive then can we say that about humanity ? I hadnt spotted this until this afternoon though I may have subconsciously noted it with my first posting.