I sometimes envy those who get to stand on the edge of a precipice, and only they themselves can judge whether or not they are going to plunge into a life changing spiral, say of career, location in their continent ect. Yes, I am kind of envious of that state of mind ,or flux, the control one has over circumstances, and having the pure freedom of the possibility of change ahead. I remember the moment I found out my wife was pregnant against the odds, I was in Cornwall on holiday. I was so shocked at the sudden change of events we drove all the way home immediately, despite having two days holiday left. I just couldnt settle. All the way home I had a view of the full moon in my cars side mirror. That was a haunting experience, I guess it was the adrenalin. I shall never forget that all night drive home knowing nothing was going to be the same again. No, I wasn't happy then, but I knew what was required. It all felt out of control though in the moment, and that was quite exciting in a strange way.
I guess the fact ive never moved about contributes to this rather silly, ill thought out fantasy, but it is a situation I guess due to my work and family ties I will never experience ( I hope, oddly. You know what I mean.. ). Ive spoken to people who have experienced life changing moments involving travel, and they tell me Im lucky to have not gone through such a thing, they often go on next to tell me that they envy my constant life rhythm. I guess whatever we don't experience we dream to try...
No comments:
Post a Comment