So whats the plan ?

Ive just come to a crashing realisation . What are we all looking for on line ? We are looking for something that we didn't feel the need for or find important before the Internet exploded into our everyday lives . Yes I think most readers of this blog will remembers those days . Today there is no going back . The evils its brought are all consuming ( you know im right ) but the benefits of a wider connection can be beneficial .
   Why do I publish my inner thoughts to a random audience ? Why do others also ? Because necessity is the mother of all invention . Real life doesn't give usually opportunities ( mine anyway ) to have deep conversations , This is the problem . We want to connect to like minded people . We throw this to the hand of fate , strangely .
   If you are of a similar age to me and you are thrashing around trying to grasp at some kind of everyday satisfaction I suggest this is always going to be so for the rest of your days  . It will be this way for me anyway , and I guess it will be for others . So whats the plan for us like minded types eh ? We may be half way through our lives and we are still not completely poised . A plan is needed . All this thrashing needs consolidating into a mind set of some use .
  I have a theory that being conscious for over 40 years causes a build up of stress . Not so long ago life expectancy was 45 !  By then it was all over . Today its just really getting going ! By the time we die just think of all the extra mental input and energy we will have expended compared to 150 years ago ! This maybe the curse of our age ...

Something to cheer up a dreary , weary , muddy , wet drizzly winters afternoon .... Oh I forgot dark !

The Winged Bull

So what am I reading at the moment ? Well Ive finally got round to reading some Dion Fortune again , in fact her final novel The Winged Bull . I am barely a chapter in and up crops a character who randomly picks up a book by J.C Jung about the subconscious and is amazed as on the cover is an image he has just seen as a statue the day before ( a synchronicity that I guess will be revealed later in the book ) Well it gave me a shock to as Jung has been very much on my mind , and having found a reference to him in another story I read by A . Crowley that was so revealing personally , I regard this twist as a personal synchronicity with bells on !
  As I said a few weeks ago and discussed with another blogger , I thought Jung's theory's were pretty much the essence of " magic " or very near a parallel at least . As I read further into the book I feel I will be proved right....  

                                                                                                     

Toa / water

I read recently that water is the strongest substance in existence because it does not resist . The more you think about this statement the more examples you will discover to back it up . It was also said to be a good example of the workings of the Way of Toa !

Once again it returns....

Tonight I feel very strange indeed . I feel a familiar atmosphere in my thoughts and I feel the close presence , very close of a truth of finding something odd . Its a smell in my nostrils and a feeling  . Its a little dizzy but its a sweet smell  .
   Off course ive written before about how charged the atmosphere becomes in the grounds of a Manor house near where I live , and this year its  appeared bang on time again . Tonight its dry and crisp , but with sporadic blustery showers . There is a tangible , excitable old sense of tension in these garden grounds . I can feel a direct portal of atmosphere directly back in time to Victorian days . Its in the sound of the winter gales in the tree tops . It sounds like a distant stormy sea . If I was to walk round these gardens in the dark ( as I had to last year ) it would still feel as it did in my childhood . It still feels electric tonight . It does every January . Something is there . An elemental that appears at the turn of every year . It will never die . The nearest example of the feeling im talking about is when you see a deserted fair ground on a winters bright windy afternoon by the sea . Sorry , that's as close as I can get .
  Ive called this the Wuthering Heights time of year in the past as this place is rumoured to have been one of the inspirations behind the novel . My family has had several synchronicitys in this field . The brightening of the winter days triggers this . A tremendous energy is released . Doors will rattle and knock . Water will play up ect . Its a yearly cycle too as looking back at my entries last year will reveal . I may go back and tag such posts . It would be interesting ...

Bravo !

I truly thought I had been on the end of every water based problem known to man until just now . I just popped down the road for 10 minutes . On returning I find ive left the kettle boiling on the Aga . The steady flow of steam from the spout had loosened a Christmas card on the wall over head and it had dropped onto the Aga surface which is hot . I caught it smouldering as I came in . Water trying to cause a fire . Ive seen it all , really !!! If I had a camera I would have posted a photo . Bizarre indeed .
    This kind of incident makes me nervous . Its a classic example of how " shit happens " . Its a freak occurrence . You cant prepare for things like this . You cant fight them . They never used to happen which is why they are happening today . Simple . I shall be vigilant now , for a while anyway.

A startling discovery

I found myself reading a book yesterday about the history of a valley near where I live called Grizedale . It was once a thriving place in the 1800's , but gradually people left over time and its now virtually uninhabited  . This book is a record of stories and the characters who used to live there .
     One thing which really alarmed me as I read , was how many disasters unexpected and tragic happened back then ( as you may expect due to mining or the building of the Settle to Carlisle railway  ) . Life was hard and dangerous .One story told of a freak accident involving a boy falling off a horse and cart and dying . A sad story , but what shook me really was that today where I live such equivalent tragedy's are still happening , and are just as unexpected or unforeseen  .
     For example in the Grizedale  the valley a young girl was trampled by her horse and died in a freak accident just two years ago . Really heart wrenching stuff . I remember it well . Other untimely tragedy's have happened in my valley too , but the details are not important to my point I'm about to make. Im not making a suggestion of anything spooky going on here , just the fact that tragedies continue to occur despite our modern precautions , wisdom and awareness . NOTHING can stop them , nothing ever has ! To see similar circumstances several generations ago has rattled me . Times have not changed . There might be a saviour to rescue you in the next world , who knows ? But in this one I think its quite obvious there is none , really . Harsh ? History says otherwise !

Strange lyrics

Here are some bizarre song lyrics from a Centre Parks holiday commercial I saw on T.V today  . I have no idea who sings the song .

" I had so many moon friends , but then the sun came crashing in .
  Nothing but epiphanies  , and nothing but possibilities....  "    

I HAVE A GROWING SENSE THIS IS A PREDICTION !

The Heck Do I Know?: I guess even my car wants to get into the "poking ...

The Heck Do I Know?: I guess even my car wants to get into the "poking ...: On these most festive of days, especially for our Christian friends, I noticed just a lil sumpin' coming up on my car's odometer thi...

TWIX - "Ideologies" Commercial - Extended Version

    c

Christianity  V  Occultism  ?

A post of questionable relevance.....

Ive read about how hard it is for people post peak experience , and yes the ordinary world is mundane , and it keeps coming everyday . Very bored tonight really . Read a bit , watched TV a bit , just waiting for Christmas day , then New Year . I hear we are in for an almighty storm tomorrow that will bring a weather system in of a possible record low pressure . Its come over , the weather forecaster tells me from Eastern Canada . He was quite specific about that.....

Exhausting every inch of force ?

Today is the the 21st of December , the shortest day . My birthday no less . I cant sleep as the moon is shining through my window . Well I sensed it was there before  the clouds parted . As they parted my suspicions were confirmed ! Ah ha ... gottcha  ! Lurking in the dark hazey night , all hidden from the ordinary world . Yes im hyped ,,,no I cant sleep . Ive strained my arm and shoulder which isn't helping either as I cant get comfortable in any position to sleep.
   Ive learnt a lot this year . Ive learnt to accept the amazing . Ive learnt that sometimes " shit just a happens " , ive learnt to say goodbye  to things when I don't want to . Ive learnt when not to give up too , despite how ive felt . Only now have I acquired this balance . This year has been an almighty re-balancing act . Today im calm so I guess ive done a good job of it . Its strange to have no over bearing anxiety in particular . No plans . No projects . Is this normality ? Its as amazing as the unbelievable , just a little harder to grasp that's all . Call me self congratulating , but I like that last line . Hey if I cant blow my own trumpet now , when can I ? lol

Sweet dreams ?

Last night was a rather odd night . I woke up with a very unpleasant feeling that I can best describe as total discord . It wasn't nice as I could just remember the last image I dreamt before waking . It was a figure but out of focus somehow .Sometimes you know when a dream is more than just a dream . Ive said before sometimes I feel ive had a " busy " night . Ive also had dreams that are quite simply " attacks " and you wake tired . Sometimes you can feel you've achieved something on waking . For example , winning a struggle . Ive dream explicit dreams of a physical struggle for my life against another human being , once against something behind a black fabric I could not see  . Ive always won . In them I feel I must win to survive . Its intense . The feeling of struggle for survival is crystal clear in them . They are rare . I believe they are important . Are they on an astral plane ? I don't know but they don't feel like dreams . They feel like a dark force . Victory feels good on waking of course .
   On a lighter note later on I woke up laughing later in the early hours ! Really laughing . I cant remember what the dream was but it really must have amused me.....now that is rare !!!

Thinking back to how it all began

Its been one of those old times nights watching the clouds drift over the moon in a dirty orange rusty haze . Snow on the ground , moon light reflecting off the road . Remembering what I like about winter tonight.....

Random Sea Priestess ?

I recently came across a historian called Suzanna Lipscomb while watching a TV program about hazards in Victorian houses . A very interesting program hosted by a rather attractive female presenter . But there was more to this woman than just curly blond hair , nice figure ect . I gradually noticed the look in her eyes at various points in the program , something very deep or dark , controlled yet free . I haven't seen anything like it before . It cant be captured on a posed photograph as its hidden , but in " real time " its there . I call her a classic " sea priestess " type . She will have left a trail of broken men no doubt !!!    

Truth and reconsiliation

OK its time to take stock of the last 5 years in a simple manner !

1 ) Does " magic " exist , is It useful ?   YES

2) Have I ever seen any evidence of evil ? NO

3) Does the moon and sea affect forces , such as at places as Boscastle ? YES

4) Do doors of different perception open to you at times of extreme turmoil ? YES

5) Do synchronicitys of facts enable you to predict the future ? NO 

6) Can you swing events in your favour ?  ONLY AS LONG AS IS HEALTHY  

Everything ive seen or experienced has been limited as though a higher force is regulating . Ive never sensed evil as ive been brought up to expect , though I have only glimpsed a fraction of the mystical scene  . Some see the devil everywhere they look and that's sad because their fear narrows the possibilities to explore off the normal scenes of life . If you stop equating every happening in your life to " God " and look perhaps more within this doesn't mean you've jumped to the dark side . There are more Christians about today who are quite liberal in mystical views and it seems a growing trend . What is the difference between saying  a prayer and some mental visualisation ? Only the labels we use to describe the methods....

SNAP !

Let it rip !

I should re-name December my extreme blogging month . The short dark days have ALWAYS sharpened my point of view . My entries get more left field and shocking or dangerously honest to be more precise . So it is with another blog I follow that's becoming more unusual and daring . Of course this is normal as we get older . Were no longer of the age when were searching for the mating game , or trying to impress other people . We have some experience of life and we know what we think . So lets let rip a little as they say . Its healthy .

I mildly feel this as the rain pours ouside and the coming full moon is somewhere invisable and the www is in a slumber of Kether....

What does a man do when he seeks closure  but fate denies him the opportunity and instead throws him a silly anaesthetised none event that helps no none and will not answer any of the years puzzling build up ? Nothing of any importance can end in indifference . Things end with a bang . Things always do . Its like lighting a firework but it never goes off . Can you ever relax visiting that site again ? No , one is given the hope that it is not finished , rightly or wrongly . This is not helpful or natural because he knows its not the end , but neither is it functioning . Kether . Existing and not existing . Of course the quality's of an unknown entity can never be relied on....

Lets move Christmas !

I have always felt more " Christmasey " in early January . At first I thought it was just me being slow off the mark at joining in the atmosphere of the season . Of course now I discover that the in old times they did celebrate Christmas at this time . A week into January the days brighten and are usually a little less damp and dreary . My mood always lifts then , so yes I support that old location of Christmas . It makes more sense to me anyway....though im not holding my breath !

The Sea Priestess

Looking around and at my TV I see the world is full of beautiful women . Jam packed full , especially as the aesthetic angle is now deemed essential to most female TV presenters , dancers , pop stars ect . As I get older the more beautiful they seem ( taboo alert ) but that doesn't or hasn't made them unique or particularly outstanding , though god damn it they are nice to watch....
    No , the woman who moves a man however is special . To develop the side of a man that's lacking mentally or any other way for the better takes some doing . Of course it can cut both ways but that's another story . I believe for some women this is their sole purpose in life . To find one is rare . To realise you've found one even rarer . Of course to view such humans as such is close to blasphemy if you really understand the point im pushing at . They do exist . They are real ( even though they themselves may not be aware of it ) pioneers in the relationship between men and women . They will not be found conforming to social convention , that's for sure as to do so would destroy them . They may also be brutal , as to be " weak " will quickly destroy what makes them so intriguing , and intrigue is certainly a key ingredient in such a woman as the book reveals . Without this a mans attention will not be held long enough for things to change .
   They are also deemed to find a man at his weakest point in life  as that's the whole purpose of the system . They heal and develop ( if given enough time ) However I read they can also when done disappear instantly though some explanation is usual , even if unsatisfactory.....
   Of course it all a bit blurrey and romantically 1930's looking at relationships in this way but to a person of esoteric leanings this will matter little . Dion Fortune also tells that her " Morgan Le Fay " benefits from such transactions though I doubt eternal youth is a side effect in real life ! Maybe she was hinting at mental benefits perhaps ? Any meeting of two people will result in a transaction of some kind from one to the other . Skills , ideas , outlooks ect .
   Sorry but if you desire such a person in your sphere youre going to be disappointed as they only appear at a certain time or stage of your life . Don't go looking for one , you'll just find trouble . Mistakes are common place I guess , but respect to those who attack or are lucky enough to tread this path a while . There are no guarantees here and no manual other than the general pattern in a vague sense of what to expect .
   People now a days are complex and touchy and very wary of each other . Im no longer sure such events are possible unless they are a conventional sexual relationship , but there again that would end up destroyed in the end too . I only suggest this as an example of the kind of level of intimacy that would be needed for a long term interaction of the depth in time that would be necessary to get any meaningful " work " done or benefits made concrete . Loss of nerve or confidence could rear its head too . By the very nature of the man who is taking part the whole thing could collapse . He is likely not the most robust of people . The woman will also be an outsider to society too by her very nature , and the path that led to who she is . Such a meeting of two highly strung individual is risky . A measure of alchemy is certain though . As I said to tread on such a path a while is a privilege .
  In the book the male character looks back at the event and is hesitant as to whether everything was as he remembered it . Too him at the time , it was in a mind blowing  way  , lucid . Perception is everything however . Without it this whole merry dance is doomed . Of course the whole thing is doomed , but what isn't in the end eh ?

Dangerous December ?

December was always a time of blurred reality's . Christmas is just one example of this blurring being exploited . Its the beginnings of a period of change that cumulates in  the new year . Its a dangerous time as we are forced (that's not too strong a word ) back into ourselves . This happens because of the dark days , the wet and the cold  .  We are only left with ourselves . The basic reality's of survival kick in . Stay warm , get food , get shelter . Nature is dead outside , and its dark . This time can claim lives and does
 . I believe there are also highly emotional forces around at the approaching Winter Solstice . Be careful not to be carried away , get carried away as well if you wish , if you can  . Only a few will be able to achieve a positive result doing this and for them it will come naturally . It will " come " to them . As the winter winds rise and the skies turn white something is unleashed . Ive felt it before . A great energy . To not align myself with this this year feels alien so I'm telling of the force on here instead , hoping it may inspire someone ...
   Danger number two though if you're not a nature type is social pressure . Family , friends and party's are gathering and all the years happenings are expected to disappear temporally . Again in an inward looking mind set this is also dangerous . A wet , muddy , murky time mentally and physically  , a demanding month I say ., but that does depend on your temperament

Always my downfall....

Too Fast , too Curious ?

My take

I saw a sign in a house that read " You can only hold your stomach in for so many years " . I translated that to " You can only mentally " hold your stomach in " for so long . Of course both these statements are true ...

Simple acceptance .

Clouds drift across the moon tonight , but everything has changed . Everything.....

Fuck them and fuck them again....

I recently got the feeling that some people I once was very close to didn't exist anymore . People said they had seen them and told me not to be silly , but the intense feeling remained . I could sense they were no longer the people  I once knew . They were totally gone !  Plus they totally turned their backs on me after all i had done for them . After one real life confirmation I was right , fuck checking out if this is a routine prognosis . Ive moved on...Oh yeah fuck them again!!!

INTRO FAST AND FURIOUS TOKYO RACE HD

   

Sometimes an unusual source can give great insight . I love it when this happens . How many truths can you see or hear about life in this film clip ? Buck the trend .....

The Golden Blog: A dark side ...

The Golden Blog: A dark side ...: Life has changed beyond reckonition and everyone seems OK about it , but I lack my old certaintys that got me through . I ve lost all direct...

Almost there ?

Im getting close to something today . A picture that makes sense of all the worldly things ive been through and also ties in the overwhelming esoteric feelings as well . The Archetype was the key . Im obsessing about the key instead of looking at the door ? It also seems water trouble is associated with this scene . Im far to tired to explore for now...

Tonight is one of those still nights , no one around or outside and the clouds are drifting across a half moon . All is deadly still and amplified . Good and bad .

Who am I really , and whats so special about that to me ? ( my interpretation of page 1 )

 ?   !       The first two opposite pages of The Book of Lies contains these two punctuations . What do they mean to you , what do they mean to me . Mill them over in your mind for the foreseeable future...

Carl Jung - The Self

Carl Jung - Anima Projection

Sash! - Adelante [HDR]

From such a privilaged view point

Only a third party can compare the fearful symmetry ...

Its not you , its me ?

I have certainly felt a change in my character recently , but I wonder if other people see the person we've become before we are aware we have changed ?  Are we the last to notice ? Are we who others perceive us to be ? If not then a crash of realitys lies ahead . It will be messy . A reality will loose , a reality will win . Will it be yours ?
   Some people are obsessed with whether people are fake or real online . Its a natural fear . I ask what is your definition of fake ? Someone who wasn't what they said , or someone who wasn't what you thought they were ? There is a subtle difference here . It can cause chaos on line . Reality is blurred , but most importantly the effects this can have on you are REAL !  Here lies the danger of blogger , here lies the strength and opportunity of blogging ....

Google / synchronicitys

I have noticed in life that certain names for example or numbers continually turn up and grab my attention . Ive called these " synchronicitys " as they have meaning to me and occur quite regular . Minor news stories locally continue to occasionally reflect certain names that like to occur along side other names or themes . There seems to be no limits in time to these coincidences as I read books that are based before the turn of the century . Are these happenings just a subconscious pattern symbolising my mental thrashings ? Or are they of some huge significance of order , say of the cosmos . Sounds silly ? Is this explained by maths ? Most things are some say . The nearest thing ive come to to explain this phenomenon is Google ! Type in a word or name and it will come up with how that name is linked to a million different subjects and in many different contexts . Life seems to mimic this apparently at random . There is order , its is alarming . It is certainly not evil . It is certainly not anything to worry about . Seeing this manifest though makes me ask why can I see it ? Have I done something that's the mystical equivalent of pushing a "google " type button allowing me to see all these patterns ? A difference of awareness seems highly likely to be responsible .
  You may suggest stress as a reason for seeing such things , you may think I'm looking for order in an time of great change , but the reason to me is not important , the patterns are there , that's my point of interest here ! We all see little coincidences but when they continue to get ever more stunning bigger ideas or explanations are needed .

Eiffel 65 - Blue (Da Ba Dee) (Original Video with subtitles)

 

Its all in the mind set then . Don't be fooled by the gibberish chorus or their subtitles. This song describes the mind set behind the very beginning of an esoteric  journey , yes really !

Water " miracle " ?

One of my most alarming experiences with water occurred last summer . We have a private water supply up on a hill side  , which ran out of water . Well I use that phrase loosely as the tank was completely empty and dry but a steady stream of unusually pristine water was gushing from our taps ? This water was not our peaty , grimy fell water . Where was it coming from then ? I know it sounds mad but it was close to a " miracle " . Speaking to a relation also confirmed this had also happened years ago . It was almost unhinging to witness . It couldn't be so , but it was ! Spititual ? Who knows ???

Water

Water is very much in fashion at the moment on blogger it seems . One Christian blog I view regular finds water essential to salvation . A gate way no less ? Of course I believe water allows forces to manifest . Are they spiritual though ? Well they are certainly not of the everyday world . Are these strange events ive seen near water or the baffling things ive seen water do the Holy Spirit ? I couldn't argue too hard against that . That statement cannot be far removed from what ive witnessed . Put whatever label on that you want .
  Another blogger is writing a novel which has a very watery start from what ive seen . Again water seems integral to the start of the story and the theme of identity , maybe even past lives or alter ego's ? Again interesting..
   I have labelled my water posts as ive had some interesting experiences near , or around it . Some may find this of interest....?

Orb sighting

Tonight ive seen briefly for the first time with my naked eye an orb . It was minute but only about six inches in front of my eye and only for a few seconds as when I tried to focus on it it was gone as so often these things are . Quite shocked . Maybe the person this would surprise is looking in here sometime and will see this post . I find this quite important , but its too late to start rambling about that .

Pan - Boscastle

The Golden Blog: Radio 4 does it again !

The Golden Blog: Radio 4 does it again !: Once again Radio 4 has entertained me with a piece about a woman Minister/ Psychiatrist  . She presented the idea that sometimes people with...

A hungry force

Ive seen much loss and change in those around me recently , me included there . As for considering a force at work , well maybe there is , but a force thats ridding us of negative or destructive situations in our lives . Maybe this is  good thing ? Look carefully again at what youve lost ....
  On the other hand if you see some kind of the merest hint of order in the cosmos or whatever dont just blow it off as trivial . Certainly dont run away from it , whatever dont try and measure it against some previous moral or religious ruler youve once used in the past . Go with it , have faith and let it roll . You will have fun , you may expand youre horizons or you may just stick your head in the sand . The said statement goes for any form of spiritual expression . My mind is wider than some

Aleister Crowley on Synchronicitys

 People who live in cities are constantly in touch with reality .....but in the countryside where nothing ever happens the individual is thrown back upon himself . He learns to live in an imaginary world created by his own psyche . He discovers (in and through  symbolic form ) the realm of the unconscious , as Professor Jung calls it , and his actions are determined by fantastic motives based on hereditary peculiarities , or in the accidents , so called of his physical or psychical constitution .  "

The Simon Iff Stories - AC

I am the real deal - are YOU ?

Its strange , im 42 and have a soon to be 2 year old . Why am did I block my blog ? Vanity is the answer , sadly . The path of the unseen is BIGGER than any personal disruption . People come , we admire them , they let us down .... same old story . They impress us , they let us down . Humans let us down , not our beliefs or any spiritual musings . People knock us off course but why ? I revel in my honesty on my blogs . Maybe im too honest but my conscience is clear at the end of the day....