Back door contemplating again...

We have been without rain now for nearly a month. After the wettest Winter on record that's really welcome. You can actually sit on the ground without getting wet when you rise again. That's a measurement that I use to judge whether a Summer is a truly seasonal one. That's the kind we had when I was a child. With everything being so dry and dusty this reminds me of the Summer school holidays ect. The smell of the dry ground and grass somehow seems like an echo from the past, a past when life was so much simpler.
  So here I am sat on my back door step, watching a dark bank of rain clouds moving slowly across the valley. It wants to rain, but it cant for once. The weather is set dry, well we shall see if this happens tomorrow. Its quite chilly too, but in a soft Summer air way.
   The higher sky is pale blue, the lower is a layer of ink blue clouds blowing sideways across the valley. The sun has gone down too. Some tractors are revving away somewhere on a hill side. If you look at the sky you can feel the atmosphere of today, a bit tense , but im past caring. A time for action with a mundane mind set. That's the next goal...
  I can feel a new age starting and reality is protesting and squirming. Maybe I have conquered a past problem, or can face it with a peace of mind 5 years has denied me. The time is right to start this process with a visit to the past.  23

O.K this isnt my strongest post but still....

Yesterday I had a rather good if a little stressful family afternoon at a small local music festival. Oddly I was told I was in a foul mood, and it was partially true, maybe it was the smell of all the beer ( hate alcohol, hate its stink ) as it was also a beer festival as well. I did however enjoy the music. So why is this post worthy of being on here ?
   Well over the course of the afternoon a rather wild looking tall woman with tattoo's and a child kept walking past where I was sitting. First time she stopped to talk to a relation of mine and his child, then a few minutes later she appeared sauntering past me up the hill where I sat again. She stopped to talk to me this time. Women on thier own that ive never met dont stop to talk to me . I just dont give out that vibe ! For another 3 times she came past where I sat and I felt she was circling me, or was somehow being drawn into my sphere, and I did feel on edge all afternoon. I only ever saw her walking up this hill towards me, I never saw her walking down. I almost thought of asking her if she ever walked down hill as she passed but thought better of it !  This makes me think she was circling me ? So a kind of stalker then ? I cant tell you what was going on, but something wasnt right.
     She had a strange blond toddler too, with huge scars or old deep scratch marks in his body ( I couldnt work out which ) They were not ordered enough to be old operation marks, but too large and numerous to be " accidental "  Her child also reminded me of a barbarian somehow, and the way they swung their top half was with a certain gusto, very warrior like . That was odd too.
  This whole situation reminded me of the time at Boscastle when I was being watched by a woman unknown to me until later .Like I said I dont know why this woman was important yesterday, but instinct tells me she was circling me, but why ? All afternoon something wasnt right, little accidents with the children, and two relation I was with left after only a few minutes. Yes, the whole thing was odd, but in a rather mundane way.

She was after something.

About me

You may well have conjured up a mental picture of the author of this rambling blog, we all do that on blogger. Well here I am un covered and looking rather serious ( I look stupid smiling ) I am 43 and are married with a 2 year old.
  About 5 years ago an event rocked me . You could say it triggered an esoteric awakening, and boy did it do that. Ever since I have kept this blog just to vent my ideas and experiences on. A safety valve ? Well there have been many reasons for writing on here over the years. Life continues even if the circumstances that started me blogging have changed. Life is still full of the unseen and such things are never very far away from me at any time. Dion Fortune would call me a sensitive, and I think that sums me up....Ooooeer !

Comments on my posts are welcome  !

Im very happy with my latest purchase from E-bay, my Miloslav Janko Bohemien vintage glass dolphin. The photograph above does cannot capture how the changing light through out the day also changes the colours within the ornament. This varies from pink to brown and varies  depending on the time of day its viewed...

Tour de force

Last Winter I wrote about a stretch of road producing accidents on a weekly basis constantly over all the Winter. No one could work out why ! The road surface was new although the bends were sharp. Locals crashed regular too so that rules out the corners theory. A terrible fatality occurred on a side road. The crashing has stopped . Period, as though fate had just lost interest in destruction or had got what it at last had been after all along. Maybe something has " moved on " ?

Interestingly recently a nearby town suffered a terrible afternoon occurred that bent the odds. On a sea front a man tried to commit suicide by jumping from a tower, a car crashed into a building causing structural damage , the a fire burnt down an amusement location. I am not linking these two stories but they are examples of crazy " coincidences " or flow of events.

Mistakes ?

" ... a man shall rid himself of his mistakes... "    23    Aliester Crowley

Over the past weeks I have watched people in general stumble, mis-judge and make small mistakes and mis-judgements. Its been quite nice to see that I am not the only one to sometimes say something stupid, or not quite understand where another was coming from. This means a lot to me and my own self esteem feels all the better for it. As regarding the past I feel that it was not a mistake even if life has moved on to a new chapter. I can also see now the times I was too obsessive about things, and the damage it did to me and those around me. I guess I have " rid " myself of my " mistakes " because I can see others making the same ones funnily, but now I am lucky enough to see how to live situations better in the future !
  I feel different after my experience of a force in the Glastonbury Chalise Garden. I feel a little more aware of the everyday world, and a little more aware of the mundane and the everyday things that must have a certain level of attention once again !

Im not chasing anything at any cost nowadays.

  Last weekend I went to a childs dedication at a Methodist chapel ( I was brought up a Methodist ) and as I looked around I thought of all the " Unseen things " that I have either experienced or photographed even, I then contrasted that against the service and hymns I was singing, and I realised as Dion Fortune said that conventional Christians are only seeing half the picture and are half a sleep . Ah,  f**** it I'll say it ; a sleep of reason no less.

No, no, no...

One of the most insulting things I have ever heard aimed at me was recently the statement....

" Dont go filling your daughters head with rubbish when she's older... "

So I guess when she gets curious about the deeper things in life I shall fill her head with all the deluded, morally bankrupted , distorted non reality that todays world has to offer ? "

Putting my house in order

Today I have been through all my posts and have labelled anything of merit. I shall next change my blog layout to display the labels so people visiting can choose what subject they want to look at further. This has meant grouping some pieces written about the same subject over several years. Not sure if things are better left in the order they were written , but otherwise there are many posts ive written in the past that no one would ever find. That's just stupid.
  Another problem with labelling is it can make a blogger look a bit mad, but everything ive written was the way I saw it at the time. Maybe back in the day I would call something " magick " today I may use the word " synchronicity " . Times change as do the different interpretations we find a need to use...

Second chances ; One for the truly brave

Have you ever given up on a situation and just walked away, only to be presented with a chance to rectify the past, but its seems like too much time has gone by for it to still feel viable ? Why doesn't life throw you these second chances when you actually needed them ? Such breaks are often extremely untimely. Of course to walk away from such second chances would be a travesty, but we all change so fast and we cant put our lives on hold while life sorts its plan out in its drawn out and unhurried style. Sometimes a simple act can be as profound as stepping over a line into another reality. If I do this trivial act then I am consenting to an old mindset . This is serious for me.

Damn it, I shall have to follow this through, though every part of me resists. A strong man would laugh and walk away, or maybe a weak man would ? Mmmm that's and interesting paradox. Some friends have gone, some have returned, I think...Cometh the man ; Cometh the hour .

First must come the change though, this is something most of you have naturally, but for me it will be an ordeal...