How are we to ever find satisfaction in life ? Even if we acquire what we need , it will no longer be relevant or what we need 10 years from now . Hence I suppose we must find some kind of abstract happiness as surely this is the only solution as we pass through the many varied chapters of our life . Whatever we pull off today ; success or failure , I doubt if it will be relevant for long as a measuring tool . 

Can an area attract disaster ? ( re-edited )

Suddenly ( yes , I know I over use that word ! ) the triple number plates are back after a long absence . The dominant number is the worrying 999  as in 999 RUN or 999 DMB

   Today I saw a car parked on a lane with the registration plate 666 DRY and Im wishing now Id had my camera with me for proof  . Whats so odd about that I hear you ask  ? Well about a year ago a woman crashed through a wall  and sadly drowned in her car a short distance away in the nearby reservoir that this road also runs next too . Maybe that's just a coincidence and one of particular bad taste ,  but this got me thinking as I realised  this is also the same road on which the recent Quad bike fatality occurred (The tragidy that I mentioned in a previous post  )
    On this same road a few years ago a burning body was also found in this area dumped behind a wall . Our local paper was full of the story . Some gangster types were eventually caught for the crime . Thats unbelievable in such a quite location , but true none the less . Believe me it all goes on around here ! The reservoir is called Killington if anyone wants to google these stories to check if im genuine in my wild statements . You see the deeper I go looking into things the more I feel a need to offer some form of proof of the things  Im saying . Of course if you are local then all this will not be new to you , though I doubt many have linked these events together ... Can an area be prone to disaster or " evil " ?
   Finally there is another problem with this area and its causing a very real concern , very near this area cars are crashing  regular on a weekly basis and the road surface is new and no one can give an explanation why this is happening .  The road is the A684  ( near  Junction 37 of the M6 )  and there is an online petition calling for something to be done  about it , thats if anyone can figure out what  is actually causing the problem! This may be just be a technical problem with the asphalt though ,  and they are bad bends. Mind you my cousin crashed there last weekend as someone did a u -turn in front of him . That whole damned square mile is a disaster zone  . Over time you see events build up . This comes with living in one area all your life . I also have a friend who says such beauty spots can claim lives...There have been weird events in my Dale too and I shall write about those in the future . Yes I live in a rural idyll but Im aware that there a\re far to many dramatic events than is natural . I may concoct a map and plot the events on it to build up a picture . Prepare for a shock !

Beyond coincidence ?

Im often embarrassed writing this blog . Not because I shame at the seemingly tall storeys Ive told on here , but rather because they are often very timely and in synch with another's  posts or experiences . This often to the sceptical person looks as if Im copying ,  and I cringe at giving that impression to anyone at all reading this post . For that reason I sometimes decide to keep some instances to myself . But today or rather this afternoon something quite dramatic happened . At 4.30pm our kitchen clock just dropped off the wall and  smashed on the floor shattering glass everywhere . Ive no idea why this happened .
   This set me off thinking about other strange similar happenings Ive experienced . Before my daughter was born there was a large heavy mirror hung over the fire place and opposite I decided to hang a canvas sea picture of an stormy coastal bay .  When this picture was reflected in the mirror on the opposite wall , the image of the bay was reversed and it suddenly now looked like the entrance to Boscastle harbour , a little too much like it for me . Although this amused me ( and I now suspect it was the subconscious reason I bought the painting In the first place ) I was still a little rattled none the less . One day on returning home I found the strong wire holding the mirror had snapped . The mirror was on the ground but intact although it had bent my steel fish wall hanging which I had just brought home from Boscastle . I cant explain how that wire snapped , It was very strong , but I believe it had something to do with the reversed reflection of the painting . I felt that intensely . Said picture is now hung else where . The clock falling off the wall today just cast my mind back to that incident and I this afternoon again checked it was secure as It would be fatal to Evie if it fell on her .
   I now have hung another sea picture In its place and it fell down a while ago which is better than the mirror I guess ! Some visitor's were here when it happened and I saw the picture actually rise one corner itself as if unhooking itself before it fell off onto my surprised guests . Of course I said nothing of this odd movement to them , and only later did I really admit to myself that's what had happened .
 
You know Ive only just remembered as I write that three strange things also happened while I was away in Maryport for a weekend recently . Somehow they had slipped my mind until now.. .  I got up to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night and as I approached the bedroom door it swung open in advance just as if someone had opened it for me . I was so tired I was quite blasé about it as you often can be about such things at the time . When I got back into bed a large chest with double doors swung open forcing me to get up and close them , by now I was a little scared ( and I had a toddler wanting a 5.30am Pepper Pig DVD viewing at the time ! ) and the next few days were spent expecting to walk into a room and find someone there .
   More oddly though something happened as I walked past a shop that night after popping out to look for a DVD to watch ( there was no Internet or TV !!! )  I saw a packet of bread just fall off a shelf in a deserted shop . Now when I was a teenager I was plagued with items falling off shelves as I walked past them and this all came flooding back to me . This was a very unhappy period in my life and I believe that some things that I experienced back then were the first startings of what ive gone on to experience today . I spent a lot of time back then at Christian youth groups with an equally troubled relation and I guess both of us were of a similar mind set . Funnily I dreamt about those times last night which is odd .
   I have so many odd things happen to me that sometimes I don't dwell too much on them until like today I get a reminder .
   You see sometimes I feel cursed because the more of the truth I tell the more unbelievable I sound . This was ALWAYS going to be a problem with this blog unless you are of a special mind set . I am never far away from the unexplained although my busy lifestyle often helps me keep sane ! ? These things for me are second nature . They never leave me alone for long . It is indeed a strange night .

The Horror , the Horror...

Yesterday a tragedy occurred not to far away . A woman was killed riding a quad bike on the road while doing routine farm work . The driver of the vehicle that killed her was a woman who was in the same year as me at school . The woman who died was married with three teenage children . What a mess . Lives ruined , all caused by a moment of chaos . Ive seen many such things happen this way and realise that nothing can save us , nothing . We all take our chances . I can relate to this incident as I was involved in an accident in which someone could have been killed . Luckily the on coming car which struck the unlucky man wasn't going too fast . Chaos , all is chaos .
   There is a constant bloody onslaught that occurs on a daily basis against the human race . Some of its intentional , some accidental and its the accidental mode of destruction you or me are most likely to be caught out by . This cycle never stops and I hope it never stops too long in one place . You see I have a problem with people who say God is great , because if they say God has delivered them from a tribulation then someone somewhere else will I believe be paying the price . To think you can dodge this curse is extremely arrogant and mis-guided . As another blogger wrote how life owes you nothing and rewards nothing I will say its true , also I believe no matter how you live or don't live nothing will make a damned bit of difference concerning how your " luck " goes in this world . That's not to say we should all live as animals as having your own individual standards is rewarding within our selves but don't expect it to deliver you from that vehicle sliding down the road towards you on that fateful day or something worse ...
   Tragedy's frame work remains the same and is interchangeable with any of our lives . It is not respecter of morals or past history . We all take our chances and even if you are extra careful you cant discount the fact that others may be less so vigilant . Again its all chaos . I guess reproducing sticks two fingures up at this monstorous cycle and may seem like a guaranteed " get out of jail free " card but in reality you have just bought in even heavier into this gamble . In fact you are rolling the dice a second time and taking a bigger risk . Of course the rewards are bigger but as this sorry saga proves its a dangerous game even though the odds of of sorrow are longer .

Accidental Improvements

    "   I feel uneasy
        This kind of  freedoms hard to find
        No train of thought on a one track mind 
        Too much nothing to be left in so much doubt 
        Too much nothings something I can live without ... 

        I feel uneasy 
        What you dont know cant hurt you only lies behind your back 
        I feel infected
        Take another blast
        Got a Rosary affliction while my futures in suspense ... "
        

This is an excerpt from some song lyrics Ive had buzzing around in my head today .  I often find when checking out song lyrics on the net that Ive heard  them wrong in parts , and I have often sung the wrong words for what turns out to be some years ! The above is a good example as I wrote it down from memory . I  thought they were the correct song lyrics but thanks to google  I see I was wrong , but Ive stuck with my version because I think its an improvement ! . I wonder how much of what you think a song says is accurate in reality , and how many of your own words you've subconsciously added over the years ?  Too say which parts Ive added here is probably too revealing ! But if you have time on your hands.... lol
       

The Golden Blog: Aleister Crowley on Synchronicitys

The Golden Blog: Aleister Crowley on Synchronicitys:  People who live in cities are constantly in touch with reality .....but in the countryside where nothing ever happens the individual is thr...

Manitoba

Today a woman visited our farm . She started to tell me in a  random conversation  that since she moved to the U.K two years ago from Canada  , her garden ornament she had brought over with her had turned green because of all the rain . Cue a conversation about the weather ( very British )  I asked where in Canada she had lived and she said Manitoba . I asked her about the severe weather over there and she said that some times it came so much rain the ground water level rose and flooded basements which she also added people often lived in . Immediately after this conversation I went into our lambing building and found it flooded ! A pipe had come loose while I was talking to her . It was very odd the opening line she used to bring up the subject of where she was originally from ( garden ornaments ? ) This is not the first time this has happened....

I was reminded this week of something I saw In Tintagel while on holiday . This was brought to mind  by a fantastic piece of fantasy film / music  I came across online .Strangely while watching a film last night I had recorded also saw me looking at something that again very much reminded me again of what I saw in Tintagel . I can not bring myself to say what I saw on here , only that to do so would have people questioning my sanity , or wether Ive read to much Lovecraft ! O.K let me be honest here , Im not the only one to have seen odd thing as Ive recalled today . I can recount three people , all female and all who I know well who have told me at various times that they have seen something !

The first case is of a woman who told me she had started to see writing in her flooring , carpet strangely . This writing was readable but when I asked her what It said she replied she was too scared to read it . This was a very how can I say conventional , educated person . Of course a great crises occurred next day that she will never forget sadly .

The second case is similar . Another woman once started seeing faces in her flooring . Also carpet to oddly ? She was so freaked she cut them out with a pair of scissors ( much to the annoyance of her landlord ! )

The second case another woman ( seeing a pattern ? ) a while ago now admitted to seeing faces in the pattern of creases on her sofa . She was quite alarmed by this . Depression developed , quickly followed by a personal  life direction change and a new better life .

All these three people went running to their doctor , who of course diagnosed that all conquering diagnosis STRESS , which was killed off with medication . Strange they are all women . Are women more neurotic and open to different awareness's ? Off course stress maybe the genuine explanation for these occurrences , but from my own experience , maybe this stress was just the start of something to come ? That horrible but necessary chapter that jolts off a life changing serious of events and changing perceptions . We shall never know . Had I myself gone down the medicated route then I wouldn't be the person I am today and I don't think I would have my daughter either , but that's another story ! Sometimes a cataclysim can be the first uncomfortable chapter to a rounder you , breaking down the old painfully , then hopefully rebuilding a broader person . The only problem is you need the strength to pull through . This could take years !
   What may I ask is the status of someone who is in limbo caused by a medicated cure ? They cant find any future progress . They are stuck in a mind numbing state with who knows what soul changing events on hold , maybe even spiritual ones on hold . This idea has even been suggested as the case by some organisations in mental health as I posted a few months ago . Source ? As ever Radio 4

" Science is only a more sophisticated form of superstition "    Sea Wolves   Michael Moorcock