Things I learned in 2022

 How to switch off or concentrate on nothing more than getting through each day.

 How to manage time when suffering slows it right down.

 How to enjoy myself whilst feeling like hell inside, and to some extent dissociate from that  anxiety. 

 How to watch nature spring to life over months whilst feeling destroyed myself.

 How to do a daily task and make it an " up " mentally each day.

 How to never trust experts entirely to map out a way forward. Sometimes you may be a while on a false   road that is only brought to your attention by chance.

 How to say " No, im not well enough "

 The brain takes a long while to heal ( or seems to )

 How to deal with being hounded by circumstance and still laugh at its viciousness.

On a more positive note....

How to open my mind to new activities

How to explore " new " places on my doorstep

How to realize my identity out side of my work

How to cool off in a heatwave...lol

No one is infallible know matter how competent they seem.

Sometimes the " hair of the dog that bit you " can be a cure or a help.  

https://fb.watch/hJWgrklau-/ 

A new side to me for sure

 Ive felt a new and growing side to me recently. A side which just says what Im thinking at anytime, however uncomfortable this may be for someone else. I feel no guilt at all in saying these things. There is no excitement or adrenaline rush either. Tonight while queuing outside a chip shop things came to a head though.

A man had a dog, a hound that kept barking in front of me, or rather it made a series of barks every 30 seconds. After 2 minutes I suddenly shouted at him " For gods sake shut that bloody dog up ". It just came out. One moment I was thinking it, and the other I was yelling it. It seemed seamless and automatic and I didnt give a damn. Not like me at all. My wife who was embarrassed told me to just wait in the car while she continued queuing. 

Maybe its a lack of inhibition thats being caused by the pills Im taking ? I also think that after the hellish year Ive had I just feel that I can cut loose a bit more in my actions. This is going to take some watching as that split second moment between thinking and saying seems to be none existent. How many of us have a safety catch for our mouths ? Or maybe we are scared to say what we think ?

This hospital has a DISTURBING secret

One of the strangest tales Ive heard on this channel...

Trickster On The Run - Praise Be It’s Christmas

Im loving this. It just sums up 2022 and how we are expected to be jolly at this time of year...

Village People. Get it ? lol

There are now in the upper teens of gay women living in this rural idyll, though this was not always so. The last one to come out left her husband. Again this is a ridiculous number for such a small area. The valley seems to be imploding and I guess the outside world is flooding in.

This might be my attitude in 2023. Is it the only way ahead nowadays ?

Health abounds where beauty surrounds ?

 Considering I live in the middle of nowhere there are a constant stream of ill people. Flu seems rife despite the low population. It has got so bad that Im avoiding things like my daughters school play and the church carol service, and I still have contracted a damn bug. If you choose to attend an event there is the risk you will have a price to pay. It could be a nasty one, but worse is the fact you cant predict what others are carrying.

I obviously dont feel as bad as last December, but it reminds me of that horrible time.

I think the problem is the growing population moving here from the south. They have visitors who spread the bugs. The population is no longer solely " local "

A full circle

 I have a profound feeling that ive come a full circle in these last 12 months. It hit me like a wave yesterday. A sense of normality is returning in my mood, and with it the anger of the inevitable December bad luck sequence which started again this week. My car key fell in bits stranding my wife who was borrowing one of my cars because hers was in the garage. My daughter fell down the school steps. The dryer has broken and a slurry scraper has broken, again. Everything is happening again.

Its a simple fact that " You can change the words but you cant change the tune ". These December events are an eternal tune. Only how I react to them matters now. There is also a bad " flu " bug going around the valley. I really hope this is not going to be a repeated pattern for me as well. It sounds like covid but people are calling it flu. Hmmm. When we want something to vanish, in desperation we change its name. I predicted this would happen. It had to.

My daughter said I should lock myself in a cupboard until after Christmas....lol

To put it very bluntly ?

 The goal posts represented womans genitalia. Harry Kane, England captain missed the essential penalty knocking us out of the world cup because subconsciously he was thinking of the gay agenda he and his awful football team are so publicly keen on supporting.

How can a team that starts the game taking the knee in an image of defeat and submission go on to win ? They should be aligning themselves with archetype or traditional masculine images, not those  of minorities. They are however a reflection of modern Britain. Of course all this nonsense came from the USA. What a world wide embarrassment.

Pyscho pass the parcel....

 Ive just got home after a really fun afternoon at my inlaws, but I must admit that a certain game of pass the parcel took an odd turn. For starters my mothering in law used a ticking toy bomb for a timer. It is used in anther game usually. Why not use just use Christmas music ?

The second oddity came when my sister in laws husband threw the parcel at me hitting me on the chin quite hard. He wasnt laughing. When asked why he did it he replied he didnt know why, but it felt good ! Weird. When I threw some screwed up paper at him in  " jest "  a few minutes later it hit him in the face, but he showed no emotion at all, nor a flinched. He has always been robotic in a worrying sense. I see serial killer every time we meet....

Later the parcel slipped out of several peoples hands during the game. My mothering in law said its the worm inside. When no one reacted she said it again. What a horrible thought. I was rather rattled by it.

A fun afternoon with some very odd moments. 

Ive also noticed that my sister emotionally unsettles me before crushing me in a card game. Its a double whammy and I dont like it one bit. It makes twice as annoyed when I loose. She is visiting this Christmas day so no doubt there will be much to post about...lol

I Like Chinese

Sorry...https://youtu.be/OIu8Q_qDF8o

Nostalgia

Im bidding on this retro bike light on ebay. Its incredible the amount of childhood emotions that are captured or unearthed again upon seeing retro objects, especially torches again. Those dark winter nights with the wind in the tree tops, and snow on the ground. Of course the lights then were not LED ones as of today. They gave a dim yellow light and ALWAYS needed new batteries. But thats the charm of them. Just a dim yellow light in the blackness, and a childhood spirit that reveled in the fact.

 

Electric

 December 1st - parents tv switches itself on, my tv switches itself on, car windows both wind themselves down over night. Oh, and an electric pole is renewed at road end. Im learning...