Maybe the tide is slackening ?

 40% of Covid Vax appointments are " no shows " at the moment ! So says the NHS itself via its god head the BBC. When you hear such facts you might just begin to think with a glimmer of hope that maybe people are beginning to see the light here ? I hear people complaining of how constantly ill they have become.

Extra facilities are being built once again to deal with an anticipated possible demand that never showed up last time either. No one was treated in these extra facilities. There was no overflow from hospitals and I doubt whether there will be again this time. Just like the Foot and Mouth animal disease, when the money runs out Covid will disappear. This madness has a life of its own now but momentum will be lost. Why do we have an army of experts and academics who are living just to put obstacles in our way and the way of the whole country. You can bet they are all on a £100,000 plus salary. Turkeys dont vote for Christmas as they say.

Finally, testing kits are in short supply. " Good " shouted my daughter at the TV...lol She said earlier that Trump had the right idea about testing being the problem here. The more they look the more they find she said, and despite being  only being 9 she has an astute point. Ive no idea where she gets these views from. though...lol

Clapping for NHS brought our neighbours together

Eccentric Brits ? That was then and this is now. I find it extremely worrying that people are not banging pots and pans in protest at the NHS preventing people visiting their dying family in hospital due to covid risks. Many limit one designated visitor per week. In know two families who are suffering at the sharp end of this cruel, barbaric bureaucracy.  The media whores never mention anything about it. These unfortunate patients I know of do not and were not admitted due to covid. In fact covid patients were mixed in with general patients in hospital wards during the " pandemic ". Whats changed now ? We are a sick society and are generally cowered and broken mentally. 

Luxmy Gopal - Black Tights - 5/1/21

Luxmy Gopal is the BBC's latest hot news presenter to be parachuted in from a local area somewhere in the north. How long she may last is any ones guess. Im surprised the BBC has allowed such a sexy attractive woman to be a presenter. Short haired millennial media consultants will be foaming at the mouth, but she is Asian so.... In reality she will be married with family in a jiffy, and will be seen no more. Still she can even brighten up todays news, or even past lock downs it seems. We must have the alternative local news channel here because ive only seen her for the first time on the national news. Ive been missing out !

Oh, the irony !

This is a genuine point. It is quite possible that you will need to show a vax passport to enter a cinema to watch  a film about total manipulation of reality and the enslavement of the human race. The joke here is that in the film people get a choice of two pills. A red one that wakes you up to the real reality or a blue one that keeps you in blissful ignorance.

More covid family politics...

 Tonight my wife and daughter want to meet up once again with the family whom they caught covid from. I still hold that strong dread that I felt about this family from even before I got ill. For weeks before hand I had an uneasy feeling that we should be giving them a wide berth, but for what reason at the time I was not sure.

What really annoys me about this couple is that they spent 3 months entombed in their house living in fear because the government said it was the right thing to do, even though covid was no where locally in sight. Now as soon as the virus was common locally but national rules were relaxed, they were all over the damn place to the point that even I thought they were reckless. Its strange how some people have a lack of relativity and judgement and just obey a rule because it is a rule. They scare me.

The thought that I was so ill because of their stupidity of letting my wife travel in their car when her husband was hacking and coughing all weekend still fills me with anger. I associate them with those miserable weeks I spent. I am still angry. It might be an irrational feeling as its highly unlikely they would make me ill a second time, but that instinct is still there none the less. Her husband is still not right health wise either. I am insisting that my wife and daughter only meet in open areas with them.

Covid family politics...lol

 Sister " But I thought you were ill "

 Me " I got better "

 Sister " But you didnt have the vax ! How is that possible ? "

 Me " I was ill but my body fought off the virus "

 Sister " You've disrupted my Christmas because you didnt have the vax "

           " So you will be getting the vax now I guess ? "

 Me " No way am i getting ill after just getting better. Im not making myself ill again ! "

Sister shakes her head in disbelief, and I wish her merry Christmas and leave before I explode. 

creeper in my apartment

This is beyond belief...

The Matrix (1999) Official Trailer #1 - Sci-Fi Action Movie

Its aged so well ! Im finding myself watching this film again, and with a new found modern angle. When you find yourself isolated from the majority through your choices then its impossible not to draw parallels here. This trilogy of films is an unsurpassed masterpiece.

I wonder what next year brings ? Im in no rush to find out, and I genuinely have not watched a scrap of news for weeks.

Meanwhile in my anti- festive parallel dimension....

 Well its Christmas Eve, but I must say the last few weeks have been the worst I think Ive ever had here. Not only have I been ill, but the usual problems started outside again as they do every Christmas. Im beyond weary with this. There is an evil here that descends in December and every year its thwarts me. I battle through but Im at the stage where I dont want to anymore. Im seriously considering selling any cattle before they come inside for winter next year. Water and automated slurry systems just wait the block and play up at Christmas. Ive reached the time for change. Its strange how 2 weeks out of the 52 a year bring me to my knees. 

Some photographs from a friend...

I cant see a face here in this wide shot, but for some reason I can when viewed in my FB messages.It must be something to do with resolutions.... It is in the bottom right window and in the pane directly opposite the one circled below. I however fail to see a face where the sender has circled below.

Not my photographs this time. Ive had more on my mind than messing around with stuff like this recently. Still I was sent these last night. Something in the bottom left window pane appears very wing like.

 

What a charming introduction to a hermits life

 I guess its just a long trek back to feeling myself again. Im eating well now, though Im tired at anytime and the symptoms of a tight chest and stomach uneasiness keep coming and going and its on that note that I must add that this virus is not like anything ive ever had before. It feels synthetic and artificial.

When I cough, I feel the roughness on my chest, but Im not coughing because of the feeling on my chest. The feeling comes after I have committed to cough. I have a sore throat that comes and goes the same. Unless I swallow its not there. This is not normal. The feeling of covid in my sinus, stomach and head all feels like a smooth silky pressure that feels almost feminine. Again it feels artificial and its for that reason that Im not sure how long this will last. And then there is that oily almost fragrant smell in my nostrils and when I sweat. Something un natural is inside me and I dont like it.

Im doing my daily work outside but have no desire to travel after that or socialise. Its completely gone. Keeping topped up with food seems to be the secret to holding my mood. If Im not posting here its because Im feeling off and not because of any other seasonal distractions. Im hoping as the sun starts to move after Christmas day that I shall regain my kudos rapidly. In normal times its so.

Im much better than I was and Im heading in the right direction...

Something needs to give now

 Cant sleep again, but ive just eaten a full sandwich and packet of crisps and thats the first thing in 10 days that ive managed more then 3 bites of. This virus is designed to stop you eating. Mentally and physically ive had zero desire to eat, even my mouth wouldnt produce saliva.

When my antibiotics run out on Sunday then hopefully I can work a little outside without the nuasia and disorientation..I hope thats not virus related. Why does my body spasm and jump when im mentally drifting to sleep ?  When you have been in bed all day you dont feel like sleeping by night.These above things have begun to worry me today.

Im feeling better but not better ?

 Everything feels like it has been reduced to a grey tasteless paste. Its not just food Im refering to here. Everything I touch feels soft and the same, my bedding, my clothes ect. There is a constant not really unpleasant smell in my nostrils all the time and a soft taste in my mouth and again its that grey paste of nothingness.

Im sat in bed with no discomfort unless I get up... but something feels wrong. My thoughts jump backwards and forwards in rapid succession. 

My symptoms are much better, but I am breathless physically. I cant even find the words I need here. I do hope the end is in sight though as 10 days seem to be the expected time span for the virus and my antibiotics run out in a few days time.

Feeling ill again.

 I have a very bad sinus infection. Ive got some penicillin from the doctor. It is not covid connected, apparently. Im so tired of being ill day and night. My head is spinning, but at least the awful headache has gone.

 

Feeling OK right now

 Ive woken up feeling feeling OK just now, but Ive just felt off colour, dizzy, hot and cold over the last few days. One moment I think im fine and the next im feeling groggy again. The worst thing is the sinus trouble and head ache. Ive had blood in my sinsus which is also a side affect of the vax ive heard. No, im nothing like as rough as many people I know who caught this. Im just fed up of sitting around for days killing time. A week in the caravan was a drag to.

Evidence

 Today I heard from my cousin,  Her teenage son recently joined the army. She told me he is ill after just having received the vax. Also many others are in his group have also been taken " violently ill " was her phrase. If these cases were domestic then they would be spread out and invisible, but when concentrated like this are un hidable. You cant dupe parents of young recruits. 

Of all the things they could have picked out...

FaceBook have pointed out to me that the above meme is " misleading information " Apparently this is NOT a  George Orwell quote lol

 

A troubling sign...

 Apart from a small village store 2 miles down the road the next place food can be bought is now 20 miles away. Hackers have caused the only other food store chain to close. Or have they run out of food ? Its worrying as winter is in full swing and this country is on a knife edge and heading the wrong way again.

 I appear to have a cold. Im thankful its not flu like others seem to have had. I now have to stop at home until next saturday. I feel like Bill Murray in that movie Groundhog Day. If my daughter tests positive then the whole 10 days resorts back to square one for me as is the rule for none vax people. I shall ignore that.

Im not watching any news. Its too stressful and Im sick of virus related events and testing in this house. Its a religion !

Something huge

 When I got into bed tonight and closed my eyes I couldnt see any other images in my head except those of huge rugged faces of rock made up of a mountain. My mind scanned backwards and forwards over them or rather the one of them. My mouth is dry and my cough has eased. Why do I feel this virus is a distant distilled form of some thing huge and primeval ? My mind feels violated.

It is what it is...

Well my plan hasnt worked with the caravan. Ive been feeling a bit off colour with a cold and today Ive tested positive. In fact looking back I think I have been most of the week despite tests saying not so. Yesterday I felt very tired and did nothing much. Today I feel brighter but have a slight cough. How much of that is allergy related I dont know as that scratchy feeling has been going on for a long time. Being nearly a week in by my guess and not feeling that bad gives me hope my symptoms like my wifes will be mild.

Of course Im a little scared tonight, obviously. The sudden mental shock of showing a positive to everything you see on the news mad me feel queezy. My parents are not happy and I can only imagine what my relations are saying about him " not having the vaccine ", which is only natural when youve bought into something. Why do people always jump to the nightmare scenario ?

Unfortunately I know have to self isolate in this house for another 10 days and that is after a week ive just done. Typical.

And the nights are so long...

 Last night was a windy one again. Gales banging doors and windows, the sound of the wind mimics the sea crashing into cliffs. It was an uneasy night. There is something wrong about sleeping outside of a house at this time of year, even in a heated caravan.
The weather is so savage and the wind just wants to kill. Ive often thought that in December. The gloves are off and nature is taking no prisoners.

Last night as I got into bed I heard running water. That always panics me and surely enough a pipe to the sink was leaking. Water trouble didnt take long to manifest. Its forecasting a wild week ahead to. Ive also discovered ive developed an allergy to my favourite drink. As soon as I have a glass my throat goes scratchty and dry. Now when I abstain my mouth just craves the flavour. Of course the craving grows and Im thinking its the sugar thats the problem maybe. Its just another annoyance.

Ive bought a portable DVD player that is the size of a laptop. Its great. You put a film on and press play. There is no logging in, no adverts and no cutting out half way through. Its stupid how hard they have made watching a film to be nowadays. What really annoys me is YouTube " watch the whole movie " that then cuts out 20 minutes from the end and they never tell you that when you start watching. Last night I watched The Bonfire of the Vanities and thats a great tale for modern times to. Everyone has an angle and an axe to grind and some poor sucker takes a fall. You couldnt possible show this film a cinemas these days. Woke would go mental.

Really ?

There is something very odd about these passport photo strips that came inside this book as book markers ?! 

 

Millennium Tribute Lara Means What´s in your head

A relation on hearing I had retreated to a caravan told me I had become Frank Black. He was very observant with that comment as I had the thought about my self. Frank Black was the main character in the 90's tv series Millennium who ends up isolated and beaten by evil events and a time line he can do nothing about. How do I describe this 3 season show then ? 

 Basically its about a serial killer profiler  whos stumbles upon the count down to end times, and spoiler alert he can do nothing but run in the end. Series 1 was pure serial killer stories that were very well done and even without the  " end of the world  "plot line held its own. Series 2 and 3 wavered in quality and there were a few comical episodes, some rather good, and some awful. Series 3 turned apocalyptic in its atmosphere and its clips from this that form the above. Watching all three series forms the big picture which I cant do justice to in writing.

If you search YouTube for this show you will turn up awful clips which are put together to paint it as a mainstream appealing show which it is not. Funny how they make it look that way and I guess the darkness of the plots scared them viewing figure wise. I couldnt believe a mainstream British tv channel aired it at the time. It was so far removed from other crime shows. We wont see the likes of it again.

Im shivering from head to toe after watching this montage. This series had a huge impact on me during some dark times and watching too much can depress you in a morbid way. Im not watching it now on my own thats for sure. Events seem so far fetched and far away back in the 90's, but today not so. Maybe I knew what was coming. If the virus doesnt scare you then the end times will. Maybe ive projected the greater fear onto the wrong thing.

Everyone is still fine here to. Maybe going a bit stir crazy though.

My new home from home

If someone had told me a week that I would be sleeping in a caravan in a farm building under a crucifix I would have laughed at them, but here I am. Luckily everyone is OK here so far. Its just strange living like this for a week. Sometimes I think its unnecessary. Sometime I think Im not putting my money where my mouth is to some extent, but what bothers me most on my behalf is where I go long term with this situation ? After this upheaval has passed the threat ( if there is really one ) is not going to end at all. There must be a middle way forward not having the vax, but being careful at the same time.

  

Its strange how immediately after my wifes official test results came back some one on YouTube posted a film about the history of 666. It was first on my wall and now the caravan Im sleeping in happens to have a cross over my bed. Its beyond coincidence. I dont know why but caravan sofa seats are so much more comfortable to sleep on than ordinary beds. Ive always found that.

Im not happy about sleeping in the yard though. There are some odd atmosphere out there on a winters night, especially last thing at night. Tonight as I walked past a pile of wooden posts there was a crack and then a much louder one as though a stone had hit them hard. And it seems Im not the only one " outside " tonight as over the wall next door there is a camper van. I appreciate another bloggers concern for my situation and that means a lot to me. I dont know anyone else who has any awareness of the " bigger picture " thats forming.

Im lucky as Im using the house porch with the door closed as an internet room. Its warm and comfortable. My next George Orwell book has arrived about his time serving in the Spanish Civil war. Can you imagine feeling so strongly about something that you travelled abroad to fight ? Well, yes its not an uncommon happening in these modern times but its frowned upon deeply today. I suppose when its against your own countrymen thats the problem. I guess the Spanish were not impressed either, at least one side. People who " walk the walk " must be exalted. Its highly relevant though a fascism appears to be making a return through socialism as he predicted when he pointed out that when patience is lost socialism vereers next to fascism.
 

Embarrassing moment Boris Johnson fails to turn Christmas tree lights on...

Whats wrong with buttons nowadays ? You press then on and as you release them they switch off. This never used to be a thing. Today a button must be pressed so slowly and deliberately and any sort of rushed action leads to the reverse happening of what you wanted. How modern.

A plan of action

 The next 7 days will be an adventure. I intend to live in our porch by day and sleep in my shed by night. That will be an experience. I cant sleep for planning. I have internet in the porch so I will keep posting. I know the risk is small to me but I can avoid this. Its not impossible. What has life come to ? Well this blog will be interesting. At least im not sleeping in a barn like Heathcliffe...lol Yet...

December, oh yes...

 So tonight took an unexpected negative turn when my wife tested positive for covid after the trip to Liverpool. She has no temperature or symptoms as of yet and Im hoping it stays that way. There is an uneasiness and discord in this house tonight and a sense of physcological shock at suddenly having something that was only happening to others or those in a news story suddenly messing up life in your home. Am I scared tonight ? Yes, I am. Its just the unknown and the fact we have to self isolate for 10 days.

Whatever I believe cannot tale away the shock and unpleasantness of tonight.

Its hardly the time to talk of mystical things but I cannot deny that the first video on my YouTube list was about The Number of the Beast. I shall be posting updates on this situation and having 10 nights in is going to drive me insane and I doubt I shall be quite the same after this episode.