Every dog has its day

Im shattered and In one of those moods. Things quickly got out of control and my daughters operation was brought forward in a messy fashion this week which caught me by surprise, even if it was never life threatening by any means. The whole thing has drained me and I was on the verge of sorting out a very long running situation in my life, but now my reserves have gone on the hospital event. That's annoying when I take a while to build up a state of action ! Im tired again and very uneasy as a full moon grows.
  To be honest I feel the need to know the truth about what ive learnt in this life or what this blog is all about. I also have some real life things which I need to be manifested and brought into reality. This may require being blunt, but we all need to know whats real.

A name keeps cropping up when I visit a hospital in a stressed state. It happened at my daughters birth and it happened this week at the operation. This damn well keeps returning and ive tried to leave it all behind after a long drawn out time. Yes I really did walk away eventually...

  You know I had put a certain part of the past behind me. I spent last Summer blogging about it and I moved on, but sometimes things come back to you, or find you even if you have run as far away as possible from them. In these cases I think the only interpretation is that this path must be returned to for some reason 23 ? Funny thing is the contradiction of not being too bothered either way , but also being torn apart by the thought of just walking away. That makes no sense. I guess any situation that's deep to use makes little logical sense....
  Lifes true path is now ahead and what some may say is childish seems to be part of this picture and it worries me that I must return to a cycle that nearly destroyed me. I do not do this lightly at all and there is a huge picture behind this that involves Biblical waters, archetypal feelings and sticking two figure up at convention. What ever happens I will never return to the state I was in a while ago, even if it was all self inflicted.