Big Brother ? You aint seen nothing yet....

 I have just received an automated message on our land line explaining that my wife who is planning to meet a friend who moved to New Zealand for a coffee this week must remember to social distance during the meeting. How do they know my wifes social agenda and that the friend is visiting ? This is beyond a joke.

Its hard to believe that someone would argue in support of this dumb statement, but they do and ive conversed with them. There are some very strange pro choice people out there indeed !

 

Horrific

 Rumour has that a woman who runs a local hardware store has terminal cancer of the eye, and its been caused by the vaccine. I cant see a rumor like this being false. People stick up for the vaccine in general.

I feel like I am being poisoned

 Self pity has given way to anger today. Everyday still im having trouble with sound, but now each day the sound causing the trouble varies. I guess that change shows some progress ? Most nights after 8pm my ears become much more tolerant to sound, which is great, but next morning Im back to square one. I have the odd better day then back to a bad one. I feel something is renewing an attack on me everyday and unless I find out how and why Im not going to move on from this. Whats happening everyday / or night thats causing this ? 

I have a theory and a friend also suggested this that as the symptoms decrease at night that it could be a simple over reaction to pollen. This all started mid Feb when tree pollen starts. I certainly feel hay fever symptoms now or maybe that is just aggravating my original ear and sinus problem. Who knows. Of course pollen levels will drop at night. Im going to have to try some antihistamine despite how uncomfortable I find it.

Today I placed a fork on the table and it rung out like bell chime in my ears. I tested this several times as it was quiet extreme. After dinner I tried the same and there was no chime at all. Something is changing really fast in my sensitivity to sound. Its a though when I can tolerate a sound another just pops up that I cant deal with. Ive also developed a low electrical type tinnitus hum that is un-natural. Luckily Im sleeping well a night despite it.

Im seeing a hearing and tinnitus expert tomorrow and they are taking a mould of my ear to order some custom ear plugs to cut out the frequencies that annoy me. I feel the root cause is my sinus inflammation though and certain sounds are aggravating it. My head aches are much less and Im not a as anxious now of the problem, but I want my old lief back where I can have days out and visit people, after all summer is coming. Its hard to look ahead and be optimistic when this situation is so doggedly stubborn to heal. Its impossible to ignore sound whatever or where ever you go.

Basically im a tuning fork ?

 I already know my ears are more sensitive to certain noise frequencies, but today I noticed it wasnt just my ears but other parts of my body. My daughter was talking to me laid on my bed with her head on my chest and her voice vibrated through it uncomfortably. Secondly my legs are absorbing vibration that wasnt there before on the quad bike. My whole body is like a tuning fork. What are sound waves if not energy ? How can I change my frequency to avoid this ? Big questions. I wish the alchemist I used to know on fb was still alive. He would have known.

Remember the guitar like note I heard in the bath room ?

 Ive been spending my weekend afternoons on my own due to my ears not really being comfortable yet in public or in a car with a noisy daughter ect. Yesterday I went on a riverside walk to where my granddad on my mothers side used to live. He used to have much trouble with his ears so he has been on my mind recently. I got the feeling it was important to see his old house and in general I feel like visiting various locations as though this is a mystical treasure hunt of sorts.

Today was June weather. Warm, dry and the odd cloud in the sky. Its been one of the most beautiful spring days ive seen.  I picked so some bluebells today to put on my grandparents grave. Thats not something I would normally do. I dont think I will be the same person after all this illness. A change is happening.

The sun shines on the just and the unjust alike

This is me sat in the garden unshaved and just as I am after a hard winter of general ill health. My hair has also thinned...

 

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