No explanation needed !

 

Chugging along...

 I hate to admit it but I might have " long covid " or something thats a " thing " Tonight my wifes friend came home from work early as she " couldnt stand the noise " She has sinus pain and is forgetful. As for me I'm a little better and my ears can stand the tv noise now for a while at least. Which sounds jar me vary from day to day though and seem I seem to be my best about 9pm oddly. The pain is more focused on my sinuses now rather than a general headache. Im trying to get in touch with the specialist  for some pain killers that dont have antihistamine ( wow I spelt that right ) Im also waiting for the hearing solutions to my problem that are supposed to help. Due to Easter an extra 2 days have been lost annoyingly in this process. A high pollen count isnt helping. Well its tree pollen and thats what really gives me a headache. I feel as though its irritating deep into my passages. My mood is much better now and feel much more myself to. Now my sister has laryngitis and mouth ulcers. So much illness...

New windows next door

Well re-furbished extensively so as to comply with planning regulations. The top right is in the middle of being revamped, whilst the one below is bricked up. Hmmmmmm. Something there loves to open windows. I wonder what it thinks now ? lol

Today I had tea in the garden

Today I had tea sat in the garden for the first time this year. A simple moment to sit and soak up the fact that spring is here despite the horrible times  had  over winter , and now ect. The swallows arrived back today from Africa. That moment never fails to excite and amaze me. When they leave it takes a while for me to notice, and its a sign summer is over, or nearly over.

Something " amusing " struck me today. Catherine in Wuthering Heights was diagnosed with a brain fever.
 

 Hot female medical consultants who dress to be both classy and impress.

 Just who are they trying to impress ?

 The sick ?

As it stands for now

 So I went to a hearing specialist today who did an extensive test and concluded I had an intolerance to low frequency and seem confident something could be done about it. I was nearly in tears when I arrived as I had stopped for petrol in town and the noise from traffic in the rain was overwhelming. Its just so frightening in a dream like way. Ive really been hit hard with a month of everything being jarring and im mentally burnt out not having any time comfortable unless im asleep. The specialist removed some wax and hair from a hair cut that had got stuck in my ear and that has helped a little and Im hoping that is the source of my waking in a panic of a fizzing head. Its strange how that happens the first time I go to sleep at night or if I sleep in the day. At night I can recover by just rolling over, but my head takes a few hours to recover so I just dont sleep in the day anymore.

It could be stress related though as I have odd minutes when sound is ok. Strange. Im beyond stressed now. I cant visit anyone or them visit me as a conversation sets me in anxiety mode and then my ears start to jar. There is light at the end of the tunnel though with the diagnosed frequency problem. My doctor thinks it is all stress related. Its a chicken or the egg argument I guess. Ive never felt so scared or isolated as now in my life. This is a whole new level. My Citalopram pills have been increased to 20mg and its helping me more now. I dont know how ive lost so much in 4 weeks or why. I would rather be death than how I am now if this is long term.

It doesnt help that my mother has covid and my dad is starting to and im afraid wont be able to do all the work on the farm if he cant work for a short while. This covid is just a nasty bug now. Its just bad timing. Spring is in the air but ive never felt so out of sorts. 

Oh, and the family my wife caught covid from has a daughter who is friends with my daughter ,who was on her way over for a sleep over when her mother announced the girl had just tested positive. Luckily it was on called off before my daughter arrived. My instincts were right again, but I though this time what harm can it do now ? It just goes to show. Trust your gut.

I have a fear of time. The evenings seem so long when you are constantly uncomfortable because of sound of lack of. At least im not bed ridden, but this has all knocked me for six. I would take the covid I had at Christmas over this any day. I almost find myself thinking if the vax could have avoided this then...but my sister suffered 6 months of vertigo after that, so... My hope is that one day this will just disappear. I now pray nightly for it. Thank goodness ive access to private health. Money talks and something happens.

 On taking my migrane pill i woke up with a dried out head and felt even worse. I discovered they were antihistamine which disgree with me. So thats that. I can contain the headaches with ordinary pain killers now. Its sunday afternoon and im scared to sleep as i will wake up with a panic attack and my ears will be even worse. I cant stand much sound yet and the new antidepressants stronger dose has yet to kick in. If im in silence then my tinitus is screaching. I feel like im in hell and i cant take this routine much longer. If i take Deszepam again i will just be going around in a circle again. i have an appointment on thursday with an ear specialist so i hope some headway is made cos im about beat.

Getting desperate ?

 Im still not well. After visiting a private health clinic it was suggested my sinus pains were in fact a migraine. I have some medication arriving tomorrow and it should cure my over sensitive hearing which has driven me to anti-depressants for now anyway. I also have a hearing test and a cat scan for my head to look at my sinuses ect. All this has happened within a fortnight of making a phone call. Its all really fast and efficient when your paying, and boy do they charge ! But who cares when you really need it ? I am also receiving some magnesium vitamin b powder which I presume is a drink that helps with tinitus. Of course this is all in the middle of lambing time, but my daughter is helping as she is on holidays thank goodness. Ive been scared recently by all of this and sometimes even cant keep track of my improvements of which there have been some. 

The Almighty - Little Lost Sometimes

No explanation needed....