Live as if...

 " Behave like you already have the new strain of virus " 

Im saying no to that insanity.

Anger is the prelude to ACTION !!!

People have started saying " My days " instead of " My God "

 

And so it starts...

. Today I woke up and every muscle and joint hurt. I had zero energy. A freak accident occurred when one of our dogs fell off the quad bike but was still attached by its chain. It made no sound at all so by the time  realized what had happened it had scraped and cut its legs. Had I not noticed at all I could have dragged it to its death. I felt sick.

 The nights have turned that Winter ink black. Ive regained a little energy tonight after an afternoon sleep. The phone kept ringing every 10 minutes though. This often happens when I try to have a day time sleep. I ignored it... Turns out my wife was stuck in a field after her car slid off a track. Whoops !

 My head feels thick and my eyes are sore. Im fighting to keep a sociable air to me. Each negative feeling is expanding daily. Christmas street lights look watery and irritating. Well this is that Christmas land Im drifting into. Can you see it ? Its like an alternative black anti happiness season ? 

Gary Numan Hybrid Album

Taken from the best Numan album I think. Or rather ive stopped looking much further after finding this double album of his remixed songs. My CD is worn out now after 2 years . Apparently remixed by the best of the best Goth bands and boy does it sound good, not that im into Goth really... There are some very dark lyrics and images on a lot of the tracks. Definitely a winter album.

Kaboom !

 I dont know how to explain this without sounding utterly mad but twice this week ive experienced a loud bang not in my ears but in my thoughts !

 The first instance saw the noise ( is it technically a noise if only I heard it ) manifest as I was daydreaming half asleep and the second as I awoke. Ive never experienced anything like this before. What else can I say ?Sound in our thoughts is nothing new but an unexpected sudden violent noise that intrudes on our thoughts is something totally new to me. Its deeply unsettling as this is no subtle thing. This must be profound. Something is happening...

Bleak

 

Self sabotage

  As the days shorten I begin to get a growing urge to buy hand tools. There is a deep pleasure and satisfaction to this. I guess this goes hand in hand with my fixing bug that also grows with December and the fading light. I am on a sliding scale here and it will end in tears by Christmas. The compulsion to tinker gets over whelming and my judgement worsens. Team this up with the entropy that grows daily until New Year and I will do something I regret.

Good is stronger than evil ?

 Its quite bizarre  ( yes Ive finally found spell checker ) that another was blogger recently examining the war between good and evil and whether there is a winner in the long run. Which is stronger then and why is this so ? A Face Book memories post popped up last week from around 5 years ago in which I gave my theory as to which is the greater and why.

The whole idea was prompted by the scandal a few years ago regarding  my childhood hero Jimmy Saville. Now here was a darling of family TV and indeed childrens TV. I watched his tea time show in which he made childrens wishes come true. This was a very well known show in the 70's and 80's He also raised MILLIONS for charity and hospitals. How could anyone like this fall from grace ? Unfortunately after his death the truth came out that he was a serious child abuser on a horrific scale. So was he good or evil ? How could and why would he be both ? 

We have all heard the tales of " Damascus road " type of conversions where an evil person has undergone a dramatic conversion to devoting their time and assets to a force for good. For example Nicky Cruz the gang member from what I can recall who suddenly left his old life behind and followed the good path. Im showing my age dropping that name..lol Was it the TV evangelist Billy Graham who preached his story ? I think it was. Anyway it seems that good can totally eradicate evil in a case like this. But what about the good man who is corrupted by evil ? 

When evil tempts a good man you would think it would utterly destroy the good as good can do to evil, but no, the good part carries on and lives in a strange tandem with evil. Rarely does evil destroy the good in a man utterly. Their are countless examples in the media of the outing of good mens failings but the good they are still doing suddenly gets ignored and after all how can we accept such a contradiction ? We like absolutes and no ambiguity.

So good can destroy evil totally and even where it succumbs to the seduction of evil rarely does it do so 100% . For example a child abusing Priest, does he suddenly leave the church and live out an orgy of evil destruction, no. His good works continue. You might not like it, but continue they do and thats a very important point to note. A profound one. Good can still flourish along side evil. Uncomfortably maybe, but it can. Its with these two ideas that I conclude that good is stronger than evil. Can anyone be 100 % evil ? Now that is a question !