Back in the garden, but in happier times

 Today I had my first tea time sat in the garden this year. In between the showers it got out quite warm, as the sun came out, although it wasnt very high in the sky it shone through the leafless branches nicely. Closing my eyes and listening to the black birds chirping , the jackdaws cackling and the wood pigeons cooing and flapping their wings noisily in the tree tops, ive found it is very grounding. 

The daffodils I planted as bulbs last Christmas are about to flower, and I wondered how I would feel when they finally flowered looking ahead several months. Now the time has come. Like flowers we endure and bloom another year in an eternal cycle. Well not eternal like nature, but I think there is a message here that time keeps moving,

Tonight the heavy showers have started again, and my glimpse of spring feels gone. The weather like our emotions swings back and forth at the changing of season until eventually the swing becomes all encompassing. Its like mentally recovering. It doesnt all come with a sudden bang. The mind swings back and forth until a ground change occurs. I think mine will occur this spring, and my recovery will be in line with the new life this season brings. To be worsening as life all around you is emerging is very unpleasant, especially when your life and work is immersed in nature. It felt awful and isolating as everyone else is blooming mentally at that time of year.

Im dreaming a lot of subtle dreams that I cant fully recall, but they are sometimes about people I used to know in another time, say 20 years ago when life was a different age. As I type certain words emotions I felt in my dreams spark for a second in my mind. The same happens randomly during the day. I get a feeling of healing in a gentle way.  Is my mind is rebooting ?

The only real hickup is that my camping seat is sinking in the soft ground...lol