Are They Holding Up A Mirror ?

When I look at the people I hang around with online, I see some of them openly admit they have had, or may have, certain mental problems. I can relate strongly to them. By looking at which " birds of a feather that flock together " can we see a truer picture of ourselves ? And before condemning me for such online follies consider the fact that our everyday lives are also heavily populated by the same category of people, some of whom we love as family ect...

If someone had told me 5 years ago that  tonight I would be sat reading a book of mystical cyphers in a bath of Epsom salts, I would have called them a mad !

If you have read my other blog you will know that last week I had a close shave with death when a large Oak branch fell from a tree, narrowly missing me. Well, Im still here for now... This week has been no less strange as I came across two sheep who had both perished due to branches. One had got stuck under a branch, and a little away was another sheep, also dead that had got stuck on top of a branch. Mmm, see the pattern here. ?Im worried that these three events are connected. At the very least its a bit odd. Tonight I came across this musing by Aleister Crowley regarding FAITH and DOUBT....

                                                                       45
                                                                      
                                                            Chinese   Music

"  Explain this happening ! "
" It must have a natural cause  "
" It must have a supernatural cause "
Let these two asses be set to grind corn
May, might, must, should, probably, may be, we may safely assume, ought, it is hardly questionable, almost certainly poor hacks ! let them be turned out to grass.
Proof is only possible in mathematics, and mathematics are only a matter or arbitrary conventions.
And yet doubt is a good servant but a bad master; a perfect mistress, but a nagging wife....

The more necessary anything appears to my mind, the more certain it is that I assert a limitation.
I slept with Faith, and found a corpse in my arms on awakening. I drank and danced all night with doubt, and found her a virgin in the morning. 


" DOUBT INHIBITS ACTION, AS MUCH AS FAITH BINDS IT  !




Its funny how differently we treat Faith and Doubt. Many take faith to extremes. They live and die by it. But often the out come leads nowhere and the results never come, though the mental leaps that occur while on this path are VERY REAL . I guess the paradox here is that something " Unreal " can be useful to us. But a balance is needed, or is it ? I personally aren't too hung up on that point. I guess this brings us to DOUBT...
   Ive spent long periods of my life doubting and worrying, and this hasn't led to anything either. Fears were just concoctions in my head. Our fears are more often than not the causes of our unhappiness and doubt. A lot of time is wasted doubting instead of just moving forward. Again this seems like another pointless state of mind. Let the two loose on each other and " grind the corn ? "
I guess its a pull / push situation. Let one have a say over the other and something dramatic will move. But just where do we want to end up ?!?


Finally here is another view of faith as a poem I wrote a while ago. Again this was bizarrely about misfortunate sheep !

                                                     A LEAP OF FAITH  ?

It starts, a sheep grazing by a ledge, slips, falls in to the void, and is gone.
Another turns to bolt there after, not wishing to miss out on greener fields.
Another jumps as two have gone and cant be wrong.
Next some jump through an involuntary reflex
Others follow out of pure fear.
The penultimate jumpers demand to confirm the apparent gain.
The final sheep leap for fear of being left alone, not knowing that the first have perished.

David Haygarth 2015



Sheep have been known to follow one another over a cliff or precipice. This idea is used here to demonstrate how confusion can arise once any idea or perception of importance arises, also examined is the chain reaction of meandering thoughts that arise in those in close proximity  to such a happening. Of course the original happening that starts this chain reaction is often a mistake or mis-understanding, hence I mention No.14  Well that was fun, Ive really  enjoyed writing this...

Coil -- Going Up

We Must Have A Level Playing Field !

Cutting To The Chase

Im very tired tonight, and its been a very strange week. Probably only one person will understand what Im about to write without calling me insane. Yesterday, I wrote quite an eloquent piece about how a falling branch nearly wiped me out. Im too tired to wax lyrical about it again as I accidentally deleted it last night. Lets just say the incident has rattled me.
  For a few weeks now I have seen singular very small feathers fall in front of my eyes. At first I thought it was just dust ect, but after 3 times I could clearly see a tiny feather. Where they came from and whether they were " real " or ethereal as Orbs I don't know. Were they a warning of what was to come ? I don't know.
  Today I got another shock. A close friend of my parents lost his Wife this morning. The air ambulance came after he found her dead. They often visited my parents, and were well known in the dale. In fact a sad atmosphere seems to be hanging over the village tonight... Or maybe that's just because I have the house to myself tonight. This womans death has shocked me as I know how lucky to escape death I have been due to the falling branch. I feel maybe she was taken as I escaped as such. I feel no guilt, but am disturbed if these ideas are connected. Things work in a disturbing way in this dale. There have been some very odd deaths indeed. But that's for another post.
  I guess whats really eating me is that this woman was from my parents generation, and I must face the fact that their days are numbered. I mean it could be tomorrow as todays events have proved. Im scared really. No, there are no fancy cure alls here.
  Im seeing some crazy synchronicities to  do with numbers and countries. These grow. Even a films image has been repeated 3 times in various medias that could not be orchestrated. Maybe the universe is reflecting my thoughts and manifesting them back at me, or something is lining these images up for me ? It grows more intense.
  Several weeks ago I photographed an Orb that seemed to mimick my facial features. Was this a forewarning I was about to pass over potentially ? My dreams are strangely vague and disturbing, tepidly disturbing and prolonged. They never reach a head. This has been going on for months. Anyway Ive booked a holiday and yes, im leaving on the 23rd of May. Sounds about right...lol End of ramble. Tired.