Millennium S02E43 Somehow, Satan Got Behind Me

My God, that's life alright !!   I am a big fan of the 3 series of Millennium. Only one episode was a comedy though.  Although tongue in cheek this one captures many quite serious truths about how our lives have become mundane and unsatisfying.

Sunset Shimmer's Wrath/Defeat

Im the first to admit that this transformation sequence is quite hard core. Is this an action scene taken from a Manga adult animation then ? Why, no...this happens to be the latest My Little Pony offering. Mmmm... Things turn even stranger when an alternative dimension  is shown to be accessible only during a full moon, and through a mirror. This is referred to as a" portal " . On each side of the portal each character has its own version. The " angels " fight the " demons " , and magic is used in battle. Sometimes childrens TV programs contain more than first meets the eye. I must admit that I like this animation. It has a charm about it. Its an odd mix for a childrens film though, surely ? Of course most people wont ever realise the nod and wink towards occult ideas contained in the plot.

Skid Row - In A Darkened Room (Official Video)

Im not really sure how Skid Row managed to not make it big time...Oh, hold on I remember now...They were signed by Bon Jovi into a notorious recording contract that was known for being one of the most exploitive and degrading in the music industry. I learnt that from a documentary ! Some of the bands tracks actually are emotional in a way ive not found in other metal bands albums. Wasted Time is a good example. I wouldn't listen to it unless I was in a cast iron frame of mind, such is its power. Songs so good they hurt, but still I cant resist.

Why Little Matters ?

If its HOT you'll want COOL
If you want COOL you'll get HOT
If its GOOD it turns BAD
If its BAD it turns GOOD
If your HAPPY you'll turn SAD
If your SAD then you'll find HAPPY
If your BORED you'll find PURPOSE
If you have PURPOSE you'll get BORED
If your SECULAR you'll find GOD
If you've found GOD you'll turn SECULAR...

This is the joke of life. The joke of the General at the Expense of the Particular

Eventually life just becomes about waking up every morning. It becomes not about money, love or reproduction. Just waking up day after day after day... then worrying about not waking up one day. What other way would we live if we had the chance ? Ive no idea. I feel like ive woken up half way along a train journey to a destination I never wanted to set off for. Then there is tomorrow and a thousand days after that to come. Seasons will change ect. Maybe I could go back to the start again when I didn't realise this plodding on would be so mechanical. Summer will come and mask everything delivering all its distractions. Only Winter reveals the truth...

St Patricks Church

On Sunday I visited St Patricks Church in Heysham and the Priory ruins behind it. I had heard a while ago there were some graves there that were carved out of  rock. Only after looking around the Priory ruins did I finally find them. They were in such an unlikely place, on a slab of rock at the very edge of a small cliff that looked out to sea. The view from this rock was epic. I can see now why they were located there . You could almost imagine flying out to sea and away across the open landscape somehow. I think this was why this site was chosen for use as a premium burial site. Carving the graves from the rock must have been much work so im guessing the people laid to rest in them must have been important. The rock slab felt like a launch pad, and only a temporary resting place. Its just the feeling I got when I visited though. It seemed as though it was a departing point for souls. I could imagine the spirits of the deceased shooting of across the bay. It was not a restful stable site. It implied movement and the start of a journey. Well that was what I strongly felt that day.
   I have noticed that Priorys whether ruined or intact still carry the most amazing atmospheres of peace and tranquillity. It doesn't seem to matter how long they have been ruins, or how much is left, the feeling of total peace is still living there. I guess all the rituals practised in them have led to a lasting aura ? Anyway I returned home feeling quite refreshed. I felt still quite tired, but some part of me was replenished. I guess that was mission accomplished.
 Another thing I have noticed is how I get disorientated when I am getting near these places. I forgot which turn off to take and ended up driving through the village back streets. I also experience a very black mood before hand too. It almost seems like these two annoying events always have to happen before I find the peace Im looking for.

 

Priory ruins

 

 

 

Rock graves. Pre 8th Century ? No one is sure...

 

St Patricks

Reaching the Sea

Cant Sleep

I cant sleep. This moon has me feeling like a stretched out elastic band. It is so bright tonight that I can see the walls and hedges in the fields outside. A strange light covers everything. Ive been so tired today that I tried to sleep this afternoon, but failed. I ended up writing a raunchy recollection of a christening I attended last year ! It is on my Moon blog. Oooer.... ! Im blaming the moons feminine forces for that ramble. Just roll with it...

Shakin' Stevens - Green Door (Avro)

The Unseen ?

Ive known for a while that the camera hates me. I rarely get a photograph that resembles what I see when I look in the mirror. This is increasingly frustrating and even to be honest disturbing. To not be able to capture your true essence or even a satisfactory attempt must be classed as stressful. What I do capture is not me. This leads me to ask if the camera is capturing something else ? Ive had things appear on photo's that I couldn't see at the time with the naked eye, but could this also be the case with facial shots ? I don't know really, but its just an idea I turn to when Im failing to capture how I see myself. If it is so, then im doomed to failure...
  Ive seen other people who when photographed from various angles look like totally different people too. This is nearly as disturbing... and again I ask my self if the camera is capturing some other essence of them ? Even bone structures can appear to be changed and facial shapes as well.
  Anyway here are some photographs that capture more than their fair share of the unseen. They were taken last year at a holiday house in Maryport that I suspected was haunted after a door opened by itself for me one night, followed closely by a pair of dresser doors. Note the position of the orbs. One at either side of the dresser doors that opened by themselves and a large one by the doorway that opened too. Their positioning is not coincidental, surely ? Sometimes I find myself questioning my sanity as I was taking photos of " nothing " at 4.30am. Not a normal weekend away then... Were the two mirrors acting as some kind of portal ? Ive heard it said and have had experiences that suggest this.

 

 

 

 

 

You can just make out an orb at each corner of the cabinet doors

 

 

 

 

This orb I have blown up. It was on a separate photo by the bedroom door

 

Do you see a face ? Maybe im projecting ?

 

 

 

 

 

 

Maryport Harbour

Catching the last of the days winter sun...

 

 

 

Deep Purple Perfect Strangers Lyrics

The internet is a double edged sword. It can convey to us " echoes " of people we have known in the past, both literally and by bringing us into  touch with those we have never met, but remind us of people we used to know in " real life " . Here is a quandary that always puzzled me . If we are in regular contact with a person we have never met online, is that relationship more real than one we used to have years ago with someone...but has faded with time in real life ? To add to the confusion I have written off friendships in real life due to a person not playing " ball " online. This was a mistake. Some people are just scatty online and don't mean to offend. Or are they really just playing a game ? This thinking will drive you mad. Ive been there. I guess only a face to face meeting can tell you the answer you so badly need to know, and that isn't always possible. I think people we know in real life are less likely to be game players though. I must admit that I am a little quick to get insecure online or paranoid. I once wrote an amusing musing ( sorry ) about how the Devil invented facebook. I shall try and find it.


Sometimes faith never delivers - Sometimes doubts are ill founded.

Right Where Anyone Who Cares To Look Can See ?

It has only just hit me now, and my heart feels giddy with the realisation. This is not an artistic interpretation im about to suggest here, but a cold hard theory. I was once in a different reality where I experienced that which I craved. I bent agendas and life patterns, both of my own and others to achieve this. Not all this was done consciously.
   Anyway I created a moods where I had success. Next came a dispersion and complete breakdown of all I had achieved as life flooded in. I couldn't hold it back, and I thought all was lost for ever. I thought this for several years.
   Only now do I see after a brief moment of return to that situation, that it still exists somewhere. It can exist in tandem with the mundane life im living as another alternative reality. All I need to do is realise that there is still a mood when I can return in the mirage to old times. Call it a porthole that opens. It is still accessible, just as a drug user might access a state of mind at will. Of course the situation seems impossible and silly compared to the mundane life of today, but still it exists under its own self sustaining energy.
  I cannot access this everyday. I cannot sustain or aid this relationship on Face Book. Wrong tool you see. That would be like using a Laptop in Church ? To grasp this is hard. Very hard because I am slipping from my current reality. Of course I get stressed judging a surreal situation through wordly eyes ! The shocking proof of recent social mixings has proved this. How could I have forgotten this ? Of course this situation used to destroy me, but when balanced with todays new mood I see a nicer picture than ever before, after all we must have balance.  23 .Ive lived unbalance and eventually it leads to hell. Below is a poem I wrote years ago about this little accessible reality.

Temporary Loss

All seems now lost
Still circles have vanished
Empty rooms beckon
As the everyday is now
Waiting for high tides
To bring me free passage
Return to my dreams ?
But the question is how .

Clouds of the past drift over a moon of the present
Gentle moments remembered
As magic unfolds
Silver moonlight reflected
As memories flicker
What wouldn't I give to once again watch them unfold ?
Slow moonlight shadows drift ghost like till dawn
As shining river valleys move forever seaward bound
Too soon , but too late have I found all the answers
To feel all I wanted
But have nothing to hold .


"  The Initiate gets to use everything, but own nothing... "   Dion Fortune

Lest Olde Acquaintance Be Forgot

 

 

Roll up, roll up !  See the grand return of a legendary spectacle. You wrote him off, but by means unknown to mortal man he has returned. Gasp in awe as you view his seemly impossible social concoctions, and blatant disregard for social conventions. Watch him dismantle rigid formalities as he dances with Lady Luck. He spins, he twirls, she dances...for one night only.

Does he really fear success ?