The Sea Priestess

Last Spring while on holiday near Glastonbury, I decided to made a particular effort to visit the coast beyond Weston-Super-Mare. This sandy dune like area is known as Brent Knoll. Dion Fortunes novel The Sea Priestess was set here, so I was very excited to finally visit the area.
   Having found Glastonbury so dark and unsettling, this area with its brilliant unfiltered bright sunlight seemed to free me from a dark mood and tension I felt had been building up in me. I felt a great relief on visiting this area, and I actually regained my holiday spirit that was so lacking near The Tor. Anyway I came across a church, St Johns I think it was called from memory. In the grave yard there I found this quite disturbing tree growing. Quite why it hadn't been removed or cut down I don't know.
   On a lighter note I later passed the ISIS caravan park ( as in the Egyptian goddess sense ) This made me smile as its naming must surely it be a nod towards Dion Fortune, surely ?  LOL

There comes a gust of wind from the North that blows across our farm yard every year at this time. Its cold blast symbolises that Winter has arrived. I acknowledge it every year. I wait for it every year, and surely enough it comes. Tonight there has been such a gust.

Over the weekend three surfers drowned at Mawgan Point in Cornwall ( yes, that pronunciation )

Die daily

Tonight the clocks finally change. Winter can finally be felt. Trees are finally losing their leaves. Summer is dead, cue darkness, moisture, coolness and wind. Its an intimate time. Interests become intense, out looks short, passions and desires seem nearer. Thoughts are radiant. I welcome all this as Im ready for a change of season and mind set... Bring me windy nights and stormy days and the end of that silly " hysterical optimism " of Summer !

Guns N' Roses - Yesterday (Official VIdeo)

Its strange. Life later than 5 years ago seems no longer to have existed

It struck me today that the very fact that a connection continues in some form or other with  persons we treasure , however small,  and in what ever context , suggests that such a long sequence or train of events cannot be ruled out as trivial. Sometimes a real world connection can fade, blaze or lie dormant. Sometimes it transforms to be purely online despite being once a real flesh and blood connection, almost an Avatar if you will. And of course there are connections that were born on line as well and will never become " real world ". Whatever were looking at, long term events cannot be deemed as meaningless. Time does not measure ???

Somethings returning

Tonight I copied a short story I wrote 3 years ago onto my poetry/ writing blog. As I did so I sat in my kitchen with the wind howling round the kitchen window just as it did years ago. I now feel hyped to perhaps write again, but not sure if I can now old circumstances how passed. Ive suddenly remembered how fulfilling writing was back then. Recent brief poetry ive written has lifted my mood too. Ive spent too long sat bored at night. Heres hoping for some inspiration, but not the up heaval that so often accompanies those times and seems necessary to fuel anything of substance !

Gigi D'Agostino - Deeper ( Underconstruction 3 )

This afternoon I wrote some poetry as the North wind howled  around my house. I have no idea where it came from as it did not sound like my usual efforts. It came from somewhere that wasn't there before. Admiration is a powerful emotion, especially when its not based on the usual male, female malarkey...

The Panics - 'Don't Fight It'

Time for a break

I might be done on this blog for a while. This happens periodically when I get a little to close to the truth. I have made some progress recently. A goal has been achieved.   32 maybe ahead, maybe...There is a blasting North wind rattling my windows. Leaves are falling from the trees. I am at peace, for now.

Well its not quite that bad...

The Almighty Jonestown Mind

Keep on the ball

There are brief periods in which the general laws of possibilites are suspended and anything is possible. These times pass over without warning. To experience one is unlikely. They are found by chance. Are they responsible for prayers answered, or luck ?

" You wont want me, I see ghosts in all I do.... "

Whats really eating me

I have something I need to return to before it destroys me. I shall go to it before it comes to me. Its already made the first move. Death or glory time folks. The end or the beginning...

The Almighty - Ultraviolent (Crank)

 


All the people ive most loved and admired, both male and female, have all ended up on medication of some kind. This does not bode well for me finding peace of mind at all...lets be honest.

There is only 1 question ladies and gentlemen :     ?     !     

Basically, whats the shocking reason for my current mind set  ? 
I feel like destroying something.
I could pour infinite energy into the right thing...

" Toy town, toy town, toy town, its the place for all your hopes and dreams.
   Toy town, toy town, toy town, nothing here is as it seems... "

9 - Change at the highest level

I may delete this in the morning !

Its probably a direct cause of the full moon, but tonight  Im thinking about all the people who have moved me so far in life, and wondering just how they've viewed me in the past. These people were not great examples of morality or conventional types. A long running theme of corruption ran through them. Maybe it was their free spirit I fell for ? Well if you don't have a free spirit whats the point of it all ? Nothing was ever consummated in these friendships. and I was always left high and dry. But that happens to everyone anyway, consummated or not though doesn't it !!!
   Im hungry. What I need to sustain me is rare as Ive waffled on before. Yes, when I find what I need it starts eat at me until the very ground beneath me is eroded away and I find my balance toppled. So to re-cap; that which I desire destroys me, and without it life is not complete. This process is a powerful one that lasts for years. As you can see from my blogging history Im a consistent bugger ! I am who I am and things are changeable.
  I sometimes think I create situations of uncomfortableness as a distraction, but from what exactly ? Ive chased dreams. Ive lived alright, even though ive never travelled far. There is one constant theme that's run through the years and that is I cannot hold onto that which I find of value. Thats the joke of life. I have only been like this for 5 years though. It feels like a life time though. I cant remember much about how life felt before. My experiences ran in tandem with the pace of changes that life normally moves at, so going back is impossible. Just where the hell have I drifted too ??? Well ive drifted to parenthood. This is not a get out of jail card for free though.
  Funnily things can be divided into what Ive fought for and that which came to me,or returned to me, or what I stumble upon. Fighting against the tide is no fun for long. Growing up I found myself constantly wanting to bond with my Sister or play together, but we never agreed on much as children ( and still don't ) Some search for females that compensate for their mothers short comings. Maybe I do the same but in a sibling non consummating way ? It a thought, and quite a deep one, but we ramblers have to get to the bottom of our " shit " or we aren't gonna find many happy endings. If you are reading this blog then I guess like most people you have baggage, and will be relating to what I say.

Home under the moon

Yes, I know Ive closed the 23 entries but...

Its incredible Im back exactly where I was last year to a " T "  But why ? I have even had slight contact on line with a person who will soon start ignoring me again, in fact I think its started today ( and of course it will ) Some return to your sphere against all odds. Some people you cannot reach despite all your efforts. I have a crystal clear perception of this this morning.

A fine observation !

" Mass is a magical ceremony performed with the object of endowing a material substance with divine virtue; but there is no material difference between the consecrated and non consecrated wafer. Yet there is an enormous difference in the moral reaction upon the communicant. Recognising that its principal sacrament is only one of many of an infinite number of possible experiments in talismanic magic, the Church has never denied the reality of the Art, but treated its exponents as rivals. She dares not lop the branch on which she sits !!! "

Moonchild / A. Crowley


Ive had arguments on other blogs with people much more articulate than me about these things, but here I have the winning quote. Its the above example that's the reason so many Christians get all hot and bothered on some blogs. They scream faith as the be and end all, thus losing the argument as they unintentionally prove that its all about perceptions. And how can any ones perceptions be proved wrong ? Ive posted before that the mystical and occult and religions must all be treated as the same, but  we live in a hypocritical world.

You dont need to see it to know its coming...full moon

" Some people, " he had said quite seriously, " have one brain ;some have two. I have two. "
A minute later he added: " Oh, I forgot. Some have none at all... "   Cyril Grey / Moonchild by A. Crowley

Well should I go ?

I have just found out Im invited to a baptism of a pregnant friend by full immersion in water this Sunday, the night of the Full Moon. Never have I seen such a collision of water/spirituality/ and moon magick/ feminine forces ! Damned Occultism if ever Ive seen it, whether intentional or not !!!

Throwing light on a dark horse....

I have finally taken a photo that captures the real essence of me, as opposed to the usual lies the camera  tells....