Schopenhauer Exposed the Dark Truth About Women (That Men Still Ignore)

I find this fascinating.

 Assisted Dying Bill passed by 23 votes

Seems one now can truly GET OUT !

???

 

The Time my Lack of Responsibility put Women in Mental Asylum

Ive been following this guy since the spring. 

These are insights I am ignorant of, and that interests me.

Are drugs a useful tool to uncover our true selves ?

A problematic moment, again.

 It keeps happening when you least expect it. Those sudden moments when your life is or appears to be in peril, potentially. This week, the day after returning from a good holiday i was driving with my family down our single track road and met a local on a tractor. The tractor had a round bale on the front loader and as it approached us. I could see it was not raised high enough for the driver to see what was in front of him. As it approached I thought surely he must have seen us and will stop, but no. He didnt slow down and the bale was above my bonnet as height goes and would have hit my windscreen.

Right then with seconds to spare I got that feeling just like when the run away tractor narrowly missed us, though this one was  thankfully going at walking speed. Being a single track road there was no where to go. There wasnt time to even find reverse gear so I blasted my horn five times before he heard and stopped.

I was incredibly angry that yet again a moment had turned everything on its head. In an instant death or injuring can be upon you, and all in the most seemingly benign environment of a local lane. You cannot predict what others will do. Again it makes a mockery of my assumption that all was fine that day. Is anything ever fine ?  Was it ever ?! 

I think in the second half of life our luck runs out. I think the only way forward is to be nihilistic. That brings me onto warning signs that are put up such as  " speed kills " Ive never known real danger be forecast by a sign.

Im finding my feet at the moment after my hospital incident. I dont like using the term for what I had. Life seems meaningless now. Or do lesser things seem more important because anything deep seems it could be wiped out so randomly ? The weather is not helping at all. Some may say ive been " lucky " but to be lucky in my case has manifested because bad luck circumstances...lol Im not sure im making sense so shall stop here.

Megadeth - Dawn Patrol

  

See how the trails are dispersing into clouds. Long straight clouds form.

  

This was a " manic day "

This week saw the most aggressive vapor trails ive ever seen over this valley. Its no longer a conspiracy. It has been announced a 50 million pound trial of sun blocking aerosol injection into the ozone is to be given the go ahead. The idea is to cause clouds to reflect sun light and heat back upwards instead of it reaching the ground. I think its been taking place already for a few years though. Last year saw moths of gloom.

This last weekend saw nothing at all though, but then some mornings its totally manic.

Strange how Megadeths song is about global warming but I think of the affects of cloud manipulation when listening to it. Could they make it rain though, please ? No, because that would aid food production and they dont rate that at all. Why try to block out the source of ALL our energy on earth ? 

The good news is they cant do it indefinitely or permanently, yet.

Didnt think I would ever experience this again !

 Today I put a cup of tea on a saucer and a few seconds later it moved by itself giving a brief rattle. Last time anything like this happened was in my awful year of '22. Back then it was cutlery that would rattle after I had put them down. Could this be poltergeist type activity thats occurring because im in a pre carious situation. I wonder. Maybe my energy field is altered again or aura. The fact that its an object ive immediately just handled makes the experience personal, too personal.

And now the weird part...

 There is a shocking synchronicity to my recent trouble, and its taken me a couple of weeks to see it. As I was sat in that hospital ward i saw a neighbor of my parents who had a serious stroke. I remember  my parents saying that as his wife traveled to see him her cars injectors on her engine broke. It then tumbled to me that the same thing had happened on the farm to a tractor of ours before I was admitted. What are the odds of that ? 

Car injectors are mini sprayers that can get blocked. What is a stroke if not a blockage ?

Another tribulation

 Now nearly a fortnight has passed I feel ready to talk about what happened to me. It all started with a numb tingling in my left arm and my lips. Worrying, but not anything major I thought. So I visited my doctor 2 days later who examined me and took my blood pressure ect. He thought it was unlikely to be a stroke, but sent me to hospital as a precaution. This all began at 9am and after tests all day it got to 5pm. My last scan was a MRI but up to now nothing had been found to my relief and I was really ready to to put it all down to a false alarm when I was suddenly visited by a very serious looking doctor telling me I must spend the night under observations 2 very small strokes had been detected.

It really felt like a bad dream. I was all happy to go home. Anyway after an unsettling night on a stroke ward with some very ill people who could walk or talk properly, I was discharged with some blood thinning pills and statins. I have a heart scan coming up for rare problems and also a scan on my neck arteries.

Im feeling great on the pills so something must have been restricting me. I find that I have kept my head through out this crisis. Ive learnt how to having spent that awful time when my ears and nerves were wrong so Im not really a stranger to " every things gone to shit " situations. Ive learnt how to deal with stress and what to do such as on activities that help me switch off. I mean life has to go on and as I have my health still and the medication seems to be working im not totally morbid, but obviously this situation is far from good. 

I just cant believe that its happened and the doctors were surprised too. So im eating healthier and cutting right back on junk food which is a weakness of mine. My cholesterol readings werent over high really though, but  carrying less weight will take the strain off my body. My blood pressure is fine too.

Its a warm dry spring here, but once again I have a problem on my mind as I did with my last tribulation in spring. If I hadnt got to the doctors before Easter it might have been another story altogether. So onwards I go feeling my way along this new one and hoping for the best, again. 

I couldnt have coped with this news a few years ago.