This is the crux of it all and why beating this terrible condition is so hard. Where is the off switch ?

Myocarditis, don't bother to report

Seek and ye shall find. Swept under the carpet....

Summer of 23

The Prisoner - Trailer

Planning to visit this Welsh folly today. I was my daughters age when I first visited it, and I  found the village of Portmerion very unsettling, and claustrophobic. It was only years later that I got around to watching the 60's tv series, and was very surprised by how intense and dark it was. The theme of a constant psychological battle really strikes a cord. As someone says in the comments its a model for a " 15 minute city "that we have here...

Loaded

There is an un-seasonal north wind moaning. At last weve had 3 dry days with an Autumnal type wing gusting and a hazy pale blue sky. Summer is nearly done and its time for a holiday next week. It feels like the end of an era. My daughter starts secondary school in September....

Faith No More - Surprise You're Dead [Official Music Video]

It doesnt ever end. This is one of the hurdles I must get over now.

Shakin' Stevens - Green Door (Official HD Video)

" Doors slammed. Hospitality ended. Im wondering just whats going on in there ? "

Hmmmm.....

 At exactly the time a blogger viewed my last post and threw her toys out of the pram after 10 years, I heard the sound of a small terrier inexplicably yap in our kitchen. It startled me. We have no dogs in the house.

No comment...

 

I May Disappear Into Thin Air, After Sharing This...

So this is how the whole woke mindset has conquered basically all authority, despite the fact that the majority of the population disagree and hate the scene. As I expected it starts in education...

" Green door. Whats that secret your keeping ? "

Crooked House: Fire At ‘Wonkiest’ Pub Being Treated As Arson

This kind of thing makes me really angry. A unique tourist attraction mysteriously burns down whilst access roads were blocked with dumped soil to hinder the fire services. The remains are then quickly demolished. Someone did this clearly on purpose and now a  popular landmark is lost forever. A folly, something fun and different snuffed out, probably for financial gain. You can feel the type of persons attitude who has done this. The arrogance and dis-reguard  for history and local people. What a way to lose this pub.

 

I guess this reminds me of the pond of my childhood thats now been filled in next door. It contained a large clam shell that was very old. It was rumored a large fish lived in the garden pond and when the pond was drained it was found dead inside the shell. Every spring we would collect frog spawn and watch lots of frogs mating and spawning. It was a dark shady pool and I sometimes dream about it and in those dreams I fear how deep it maybe. Now its just grass and I cannot believe its been destroyed due to three different peoples actions. Its as though it never existed.

It does seem that any writing inspiration I once had came from a manic period of my life. Then it just stopped with when the dopamine stopped. Its like a well thats full one day and empty the next. Of course talent is no good without the urge. Its funny what actually triggers the urge to write. Yes, people who right are often living during a tortured period of their lives. I dont think these kind of conditions can be turned on and off. Maybe thats the curse.

Cruel, but funny !

Slipknot - Sulfur [OFFICIAL VIDEO] [HD]

When the running stops. There are many American metal bands ive never listened to due to me not being into that kind of music at the time.

Maybe its just me, but....

I came across this advert the other night. Whats going on here ? Two women fussing over a little dog while a black guy looks on. Is he a boy friend ? They seem totally absorbed with the dog. Well we have all the ingredients that a modern advert demands. But wait, there is a fly in the ointment ! The advert is for a home security device. Suddenly the women being observed by the black guy as they fuss over their fluffy dog tells me that maybe this advert is subconsciously suggesting a fear of crime. Two women and a little dog suggests vulnerability. I burst out laughing when I realized this. I think this has been done on purpose, but in a very clever way that many may not even be aware of,but meanwhile deep in the mind...

An " interesting " ride out

 Well. I was warned... After discovering another cycle path a while ago I decided to check it out one evening when the rain finally stopped. The path was about a 4 mile round bike ride which was nice as it was all flat. I knew the path headed to Morecambe, and ended at an industrial estate. There is another path on the other side of Lancaster that is well known for trouble at night, so Im told. I was aware it would be an " interesting " area the other evening , but was not really ready for what I found.

The first thing that raised my eyebrows was a man chatting to his friend about having just got out of prison. Hmmmm. I then found myself cycling towards a homeless drunk with a bottle in his hand. He gave off a bad atmosphere and I sped up as I passed him. I then instantly came across a young girl who was going to have to approach him head on, so I stopped to look back to check she was ok, and sure enough he was checking her out over his shoulder.

Next I came across some young boys about 8 or 9 years old. They were running at full speed towards me and I soon discovered why. They had just set fire to dry grass on an abandoned railway embankment. I stopped a passer by rang rang the fire brigade.

Oh, I nearly forgot the two prostitutes on the corner of a housing estate, and the character in a playground inhaling something from a big balloon. And there was the youth who flew past me an on illegally souped up electric bike that meant he didnt have to pedal it. These paths are hot beds of crime as the police cant drive on them. Stabbings, muggings and rapes have taken place on them due to there isolation. But why should this be so ? Its a nice path to relax on. Its a sign of the times no doubt. Nothing seems safe anymore. Everything however mundane carries a risk.

There is a whole different world hiding around the corner. A lost land with children who dont stand a chance given their parents. The cycle ( no pun intended ) continues. Before I get too negative I did see something positive...

 On that evening I also passed a running event on a purpose made track that is part of a leisure center. Here was another breed of people. The polar opposite of those I had just seen. This fact was not lost on me. I guess it all depends on which side of the tracks your born on ?